narcissist videos

You Survived a Narcissistic Mother – Be Kind to Yourself

My latest book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist is available on Amazon: Linda Martinez-Lewi Ph.D. talks about how the child of a narcissistic mother lives in painful psychological imprisonment. First o don’t blame your self for your narcissistic mother. Focus on a deep appreciation of who you are through a regular practice of self care.



  • Beej Connelly

    I was adopted and was regularly screamed at "I wish I'd never adopted you". the woman was certifiable. face slapping and shaming was the order of the day. later in life suicide attempts and psychological abuse letters left in our rooms. sabotaging of relationships and a marriage. no one would believe what we went through. it was hell. I couldn't wait to get away. at 17 I did but was psychologically imprisoned by her for years. thank God I've gone no contact thanks to your pod casts. wonderful help. thank you

  • Jan Goedhart

    Thank you. You tell in this video just what I have been going through. Just the same.
    She was yelling at me when I was only six that she wished I was never born and yelled that I had the devil in my eyes. I still see her stading so tall above me in the kitchen when yelled at my dad; 'you loser do also something about that kid!!'.
    He came to the kitchen and hit me full face with his fist leaving me with a bleeding nose on the kitchen floor.
    He came back within half a minute to say he was sorry about what he had done.
    My mother never showed up. He just used him. He was weak like you say but he had at least the consious to say sorry to a six year old child. And he repeated this later in several occasions but rare. He was terrified of her. He even asked me to not tell my mother about an advise he gave me when I was 16. It was a very valuable advise.
    But resumming, so sad he was in this situation to felt forced to refute himself.

    It's no nonsens what you tell here. I've lived it literally. She threatened me often to send me away from very young age on. And she kept sure no one ever withnessed this I know now.
    When I was 9 she even made a fake phonecall to a fake institution with me beside her.
    She faked a conversation in which she argued the conditions on which and when they were going to take me away.
    She faked to me the conditions would be next morning 9 o'clock and I would be taken in without a time limitt.

    My father was at work at the time. He had an evening-shift till 10.
    He was not aware of this threats I still firmly believe.

    She send me to bed around 8. I was worried but could not quite believe this could be true.
    But she remained this cold eyes and gave no comfort at all. And I knew she said this many times before, so maybe this time it was for real?
    I panicked in the night but did not dare to go to her or my dad at all.
    I did not sleep at all too that night.
    The next morning I was in the living-room at around 7 in front of the window looking for the bus that was going to pick me up and send me away, like my mother said would happen at 9 that morning.

    I waited and waited in front of that window and looked at her for a sign of relieve. Nothing came. Only silence and cold staring eyes.
    She let me wait like that until 9 o 'clock, till I totally panicked.
    And even than she let me suffer another 10 minutes or so till she finally told me: 'let this be a lesson for you.. no bus is coming'.

    I was completly devastated. I guess I never never quite recovered afterwards.
    I went into a silent child. Detached from my age counterparts. Although my talent for drawing took interest from my teachers very early on, none of them ever realized the isolation and torment I was going through.

    My father evolved into a chronic, severe alcoholist. After many years of put downs by my mother.
    He was just too 'weak' to stand up for himself you would say maybe.
    But I know he tried many times over the years. He just not could brake loose from the manipulation and toxic of this psychopatic narcissist. He never knew what was happening.
    In those times (seventies) there was no information easily available on psychopaths/narcissits.
    He never left us and never betraided us even in his final years when he was suffering the most.

    She did. She started a relation with another man just when he was making a serious effort of concurring his by then severe alcohol addiction. Just after he signed for an in-door treatment of 6 weeks she told him she had an affair with another man. It just broke his heart and commitment. But he struggled on for another few months.
    I was visiting him 2 , 3 times a week. It was very sad for me only 18.

    Right after she started this relationship she left us alone from friday-morning till monday-evening the next week. Five children in the age of 13 to 18. She never visited my father or ever made any effort to comfort us in this situation.
    We just had to except her new boyfriend and reality. The wicked bitch…

    She left no opportunity to put all the blame on my father to all her children. I did not buy this. She hated me for it, but she hated me anyway for I was always the rebel and the scapegoat which she already stated when I was 6. The bitch, the wicked devil.

    She managed to get most of the children beside her in her wish he would kill himself.
    She actualy expressed this to some of them. And at last some of them even yelled it to him.

    My father hanged himself when I was nearly 19.
    I was not at home. I was in France on holiday away from the torment for a while.
    I got the message at saturday evening. He killed himself on friday morning.
    I did everthing to be come back home as soon as possible. They knew (and my mother) I was on my way.
    It was not easy in those days with trains and busses to arange this in such a short time.

    I arrived tuesday morning around 8 in the morning. They were all sitting there my mother in front.
    They told me they cremated my father the day before. The cheapest way. Without ceremony or grave.

    My fxxking mother told me and all children at that moment now we could all start a different and happy live!!!

    The fxxking bitch died 14 years ago a very agonising death with cancer.
    I stood with her till her final moment still not aware about what she had actualy done to me when I was only a child and many times far into adulthood.

    May the bitch rot in Hell. And when I might meet her there I would be glad to add some more torture to her suffering there.
    This cowerdly bitch to innocent children. I'll stump her face anytime now.
    The hat runs so deep when you allow it.

  • Lois Dahl

    I've only recently discovered these awesome Utube videos about narcissism, (my daughter thought I should have an IPad) – but they're amazing to me!! OMG – all the characteristics my "parents" possessed are ALL right here!! My endless attempts to please rewarded by hostility! The silent treatments! My father's total lack of involvement! Oh – and in my case – my also narcissistic older sister, who was like a second abusive mother! It's not wonderful to discover how pervasive this is – but amazing that I can now definitively and absolutely understand what went on there that hurt so much. As a kid, the response I typically received was "Have you tried talking to them?" So not helpful! I'm sixty-three now, still "in therapy" as I have been for the last forty or so years, still dealing with shame and guilt and depression daily. But it is so great to have the smoke-and-mirror deception of a dysfunctional family revealed and exposed! In raising my own kid, I pretty much followed the simple rule of doing everything the complete opposite of my mother, which at least definitely produced a very different child – I WANTED HER, ABOVE ALL, TO BE FREE TO EXPRESS AND RECOGNIZE HER OWN FEELINGS!! Anyway, thank you for your work and insight!

  • Angel D

    Deep gratitude. .my mother has BPD and many cluster B symptoms..she was also an alcoholic…she mirrored her own mother who commited suicide…my father left her when she was 9 months pregnant with my younger sister…what a mess…now she is 90 years old with advanved dementia…she doesn't know who I am anymore so it's like death without the form… in recovery…my ending will be a different story for myself…much love xxx

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