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Wishing my Narcissist Mother was Normal and Praying for Her Soul



Wishing my Narcissist Mother was Normal and Praying for Her Soul

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All work in this video contains 100% original content of and by myself James Smith, other wise known as begood4000, and was uniquely created with NAWMAL software, by myself James Smith. As I’ve purchased commercial rights from NAWMAL to produce my unique and original video with this software. Commentary is uniquely my own thoughts, feelings, and expressions.

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40 Comments

  • Nerd of God

    I understand James. My sister and I turned out extremely codependent. Luckily, I am close to my sister. I've been recommending her to your videos regarding divorce. My father began watching your videos as well, he is in a much healthier place mentally. So many years my father has been plagued with depression. Thank you for helping me, and my family so much James.
    I will pray for you, your mother, and your brother. So sorry that your father is no longer here, he sounded like such a beautiful soul; that must be where you get your loving heart from. In a sense, your father is never really gone❤.
    God bless you my friend, and for all the hard work that you do.❤

  • channel-z

    i feel the exact same way about my parents in their old age..even though i've had no contact for 4 yrs now.

    i have a narc golden child brother..but i can't pray for him just yet.

    he and his narc wife have had it way too good, for way too long…while being sneaky little pieces of crap towards me for no reason for way too long..

    i just can't pray or care for him, until maybe he's in a state of some sort of downfall first…if i'm being honest.

    but i pray everyday that my parents don't go to hell

  • Gizzelle Brookes

    James, my heart goes out to you as this is the day that I dread. I think about it a lot. Your story mimics mine in so many ways. Although I have six siblings and we are not close do to my mother. Two died and I hold her and my step dad responsible. My sister and I await the call that my other younger brother has died or is in prison for life. She always treated the males better than the females in the family. The males got away with everything and females were treated like slaves in a foreign land.

    My sister is somewhat in my life and she has been successful, and the other three are terrible human beings whom her and I have no contact with.

    My stepfather was weak and would go along and back her up in the the things she would do to us. However, I did get a sort of apology from my stepfather one day when my mother was not home, in the only way he could offer. I have made peace with him. I had to go complete no contact about 5 years ago when my mother sent me the most hate-filled hurtful messages through a social media app. She basically flipped the script and lied about the truth and made herself the victim. I figured out my baby brother had to be there and she was manipulating to hold on to him. He lives with her at 29 and has two beautiful little girls that she collects welfare for.

    I was lucky in the first 13 years of my life, as my grandparents adopted me and raised me in church. I doubt I would be a Christian had it not been for them. I didn't really have a childhood and I was around adults and seniors during that time. So I was way more mature than children my age.
    I of course ended up with my mother in Los Angeles before my grandmother passed. I am grateful for those first thirteen years, without them I might not be here. I was always my mother's enemy because I tried to deal with her through conversation with logic and truth.

    I know know that the only reason she took me in was to make sure she looked like a good mother and could attain the fortune that was left in both of our names. She of course was the typical narcissistic mother abusive with words and her fist.

    I married young at 23, to another abusive narcissist who was abused by his narcissist father. I of course did not realize that I was marrying my mother. Continued..

  • S T

    Experienced this with my father. He never changed. I tried unsuccessfully to have meaningful conversations with him towards the end and begged him to do the same with his estranged son but he would not. Sadly, of his three children, I was the only one who spent time with him the last few weeks and it was extremely difficult. Unfortunately, in the last 2 weeks of his life he developed vocal cord paralysis and finally was unable to even write notes. My brother and sister showed up in the hospital the day before he died but by then, even if he had wanted to communicate, he couldn’t. No one in his family wanted to be around him in the end. Not sure but this seems like the fate of most narcissists.

  • Nick

    The death of a narc is a truly sad thing. Not sad in the “ill miss them” way, but sad to know that some people will stay nasty until the end. A Shakespearean comedy, sad.

  • Gizzelle Brookes

    He was my hero in the beginning, of course there were those red flags but I was uneducated on this subject. I stayed with him for 25 years, because I was taught against divorce. I made a commitment in front of God in his house, and I was going to be the best wife ever and make God proud. Not soon after being married, everything changed. The church does not speak out on abuse, they stay silent. I was tortured in my mind, that I was breaking a promise to God if I left him. He proceeded to cheat on me throughout the relationship, and everyone knew it but never told me. He allowed his abusive father and abused mother to convince him that I was a bad wife and I needed to be punished and kept in line.

    One day he hit me in the head and I had a softball sized lump on the side of my temple and my eyes were blacked from above my eyebrows to almost the end of my nose. I being brainwashed, thought it was all my fault and continue to pursue and try to work it out. He already had a replacement for me (This ended up being my blessing because he stayed away) he had keys to the house and would come and go and do things to try to set me up in my own house when I wasn't home. I immediately started counseling, starting with my childhood up to the Future. I still struggled with my promise to God for almost a year. I finally realized that God would not want me in this unhealthy situation and I learned that I haven't caused any of this. I finally got the nerve up to divorce him. I ended up with fibromyalgia and myofascial pain disease due to the fact of the massive stress and abuse.

    It has been a long hard life. I have learned to be grateful for All the Small Things. There is always someone out there, that has it way worse then we have. I found your Channel while I was deciding on getting a divorce. It was very helpful to me.

    I want you to know that I appreciate you sharing all of your details of what you have been through. First, there's nothing more healing than finding someone that understands and has been through it. You may not agree with me, but sometimes I think about the saying that God doesn't put on us more than we can bear. Maybe he sees a strength in us and knows we can help others. How can a person relate on a subject if they truly do not understand. my counselor had been abused and that's why she was relatable to me. It's not that it's not completely devastating, but we are the lucky ones who made it out alive.
    I started volunteering at my local abuse shelter. It was very empowering to give back to others who were currently going through the same.

    It's sad that the world grows darker every day and people, even out in public are very abusive. I cannot stand fake people, or judgemental people that have not a clue and could never fill your shoes… But they to were not born that way, and life and choices have. I am in no way making excuses for them, but being real.

    I try to remain positive and give back to people that are obviously suffering in their hearts and need love, but it's a fine walk you have to make, not to end up back where we came from. It took me years to understand this and create my boundaries.

    I know one day soon that I will be in your position. I have spoke to my mother many a Time about God and getting herself right. She was raised up correctly. I had the bad habit of always thinking of my abusers and their souls, being concerned with their salvation. I've always been that type of person that puts others before myself. I guess that's what I thought I was supposed to do. another thing we are not taught in church is healthy boundaries… but to give everything as a sacrificial lamb.

    After my divorce, I became so obsessed that I wasn't even praying for my own self.. . But for all my abusers! I had a really wonderful Christian tell me that I needed to ask God to take that burden off of me. I did and eventually that left and I had peace. I have prayed here and there for them all as they would come to my mind. I just no longer feel guilty.

    Recently Last Summer my mother was circling my neighborhood several days looking for me to be outside. One day she caught me outside and drove past my house and let my 8 year old niece out of the car to come running and stop me. my niece idolizes me and gets treated the way I did as a child. It breaks my heart, that I cannot see her or have a relationship with her because of my mother. I am the only sane adult model she knows in her life. I had to tell her that I couldn't stay, that I loved her,but that Grandma and I weren't getting along right now, and I had to go that I had an appointment. The disappointment and heartbreak in her face put such pain in my heart.

    My mother had left a note in my mailbox saying that, things had changed and that nobody else knew my grandparents and that she wanted to give me my grandparents personal effects. Which are worth nothing monetarily but mean everything to me. She left her phone number and I never called.

    I realize that this is just another trick. I think that she is sick, maybe with cancer again. I am the only one who takes care of her when she sick. she has embarrassed me in front of hospital employees by how absolutely rude she is to them, cursing them, etc. I have stayed on one of those pregnancy chairs for the dads at the hospital with her many a Time. Her own husband would only come in the morning and stay about 15 to 20 minutes. no one would come for the rest of the day, not my other siblings.

    I know that soon there is going to come a day where I will get the phone call, and I'm going to have to go take care of her, I believe that is what God expects of us. I agree with everything you said regarding that point. I am terrified of how I'm going to be treated, but I will obey whatever God asks of me…. I will make sure of what he is telling me.. and not listened to guilt trips by the enemy.

    I pray that he creates love and takes away the bitterness that rises up still every once in awhile. I pray that he will give me the strength and the wisdom to try and lead her back to God before she passes.

    James I want you to know, that you are doing the right thing. I believe God can do anything as long as we can hold onto our faith and claim it in Jesus name. just ask God to make a way for you to witness to her and that her heart would be open. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Much love, respect, and prayers sent your way.

  • A Anders

    Yes…I found that when my father crossed over, telling him while he was alive that I had forgiven him, gave me peace…but I don't miss him. You may not miss her. You've already spent a lifetime missing someone who never existed. You can wish her understanding as she crosses to the light. You may even feel relieved.
    I wish you peace as you go through this time. Your videos may change, because it was her you wish had been there for you. It's interesting that your gift of empathy allows you to feel sorry for someone who was an active enemy. You see her powerless, now. You see how the 'evil one' uses up a person and then kicks them to the curb when they are of no use to him. What did she get for all of the conniving, and treachery… nothing. Where are the people that she used against you?… Gone…even if they are still alive…gone. Still, here you are, at her side. It's okay to not feel anything…since you have been feeling pain all of your life. It is okay to finally be at peace. To finally feel free. Blessings to you James…and your mother.

  • Jack Italix

    Of course, if you live nearby, you can do what you want. But it seems like you could be still stuck in her trap. Without that real distance you will never know. Unless she is calling you for something real, I would say you are putting all the effort into the relationship.

  • Scarecrow music5

    This mean nasty narc – now older – became crippled by disease –
    and instead of saying sorry……or being repentive ……she oddly said that she has
    forgiven us – truly – in her heart – of all wrongs. Forgiven us ?
    Everyone was baffled – and continued to keep their distance from her – leery

  • ladybug

    I’m very blessed to have found your channel and feel a lot of support and belonging here. this is one video I have a different belief, I don’t feel God wants us to have anything further to do with a wicked man, we can choose to forgive but not to be in their company- it goes along w what David writes about the wicked in the psalms.

  • Crazyworld Larue

    It's very nice of you to be so kind to your heartless mother. I'm SO glad you forgave her. She was always mentally sick. I have a good friend who's father did this to him and turned his brother and sister against him.. he never really recovered, it was so deeply harmful to him. My mom was likely Borderline and I have love and loathing for her. She died a few years back and I pray for her soul but I still have the good and bad memories. It's just normal. God bless you and again, you're very kind to be there for her, in her end.

  • rats rule

    I am so sorry, James, I will be thinking of you, you have done a lot for us with your videos, you turned your suffering into something positive, maybe that's what your mother purpose here was, you are an amazing man. Thoughts with you xoxo

  • Emad D

    James, god already knew that the narc will try to indoctrinate us with their image. that is why god said that he created us on his image. and that is the image that we need to strive towards. (not to be like him, but to receive his image, its a gift from him) gods image is the image of love and forgiveness. stop wishing your mom was normal anymore! look to your heavenly father for the real image. we will never be able to receive true love from our earthly humans!

  • hildir2

    I didn't figure out my Mom was a Narcissist until I was 50 and her 69. I knew something was really wrong but until I started searching and reading I didn't know there was a name for it. My golden child brother passed away about 3 years ago he was my only sibling and he has one son. My mother is now moving his Son into my brothers position as golden child and doing the same old triangulation. She is now 76 and trying to use her will and inheritance to control me with and made the young nephew her executor over me her own daughter. She also told me she would disown me if I told the truth to regarding my childhood to my brothers widow and my Nephew that grew up in another state. She screamed out " if you tell the truth I will disown you. It's all about appearances…it was a VERY bad childhood and as an adult she abandoned me after a back surgery that went bad and I couldn't walk drive or go to work for 3 months she just left and didn't speak to me for 15 years because I was grouchy. I luckily had a psychologist that helped me hire someone to buy my groceries delivery wasn't available then and I hired taxis to take me to physical therapy. I have tons of abuse neglect stories and she turns anybody she can against me. Very similar stuff that James talks about.

  • Hugo Mendel

    Indeed, I also wish I had a normal childhood with normal parents, brother and sister. I wish my brother never beat me up as badly as he did, and that he never brushed his genitals against my shoulder right in front of a family gathering in such a subtle and sinister way that no one will notice but me. I wish my parents didn't boycott all and every progress I ever made in life. I wish I didn't subsequently fall prey of several narcissistic abusive relationships with women, that consumed several years of trying each one. I wish my classmate in high school didn't realize how vulnerable I was and didn't do all the abusive process of friendship bombing, devaluating, and ended up hitting me with his fist on my right thigh right underneath the desk so that the teacher or anyone else in the class couldn't see, but it hurt so badly that I could barely walk after each time he hit me. I wish no one smoked in my household every day and every night when I was a toddler, ending up with respiratory problems. I wish my so called family let me finish my meal in peace each and every night, instead of playing the awful game of making me look to one side pretending some insect was on the wall, and stealing my few leftover french fries (my favorite dish as a child) before I could turn my head back, and then all laugh at me when I started crying for what they had just done to me. I wish my narcissistic father never put me down as he did most every day in my life. I wish my mother didn't cry so much and were able to regulate her emotions in front of a toddler like me. I wish they didn't take me off the school where I started 1st grade to switch me to another school a lot farther away from home when I started 2nd grade, cutting off all my incipient friendship with my classmates. I wish my late brother didn't end up taking all the money my mother and father saved during all their lives… I wish I was respected and cherished as a unique individual child as we all are and have been… It is such a long list James. I'm 61 now and only 2-3 years back I discovered the issue of narcissistic abuse. I don't want to be over-dramatic but I feel I have less time left to live free from abuse than the one I have already lived into abusive situations. As you said, it is a never ending struggle to stay sane and forgive. I try every day, sometimes I'm successful, some other times I tend to be depressed or still can't control my emotions in front of highly narcissistic people I have to deal with every day at work. James, I wasn't planning to write such a long comment to you, I apologize for the lengthy tale of horrors. I have been following your videos for a long time now, I want to thank you from the bottom of my human heart for all what you are doing to uncover, denounce and educate on narcissistic abuse. Your words have been a great inspiration and a big eye-opener to me. Please keep up the good work and never give up. THANK YOU.

  • שושי סקירה

    Dear beutifull James
    I appreciate your videos and your work. I have already made a comment in one of your last videos.
    I can deeply feel you pain as I'm going through same thing plus!!!
    I also forgave my DEVIL ++++ NARC "MOTHER" AND EVEN RELOCATED ALL THE WAY FROM OVERSEAS TO TAKE CARE OF HER!!!
    THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!
    I can forgive her for not loving me, for not filling her duties and caring for me,
    BUT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE HER FOR DESTROYING ME!!!
    IT JUST HAPPENED RECENTLY.
    I JUST REALIZED SHE PLANTED THIS WELL BEFORE I CAME FROM OVERSEAS, I DIDN'T SPEAK TO HER 3 YEARS PRIOR, SHE CRIED, SHE BEGGED ME TO COME, SHE APOLOGIZED, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
    JUST TO FUCK ME UP!!! JUST TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT SHE DIDN'T BEFORE!!!
    SHE GOT ME ARRESTED (FALSE OF COURSE), SHE DEFAMED ME, SHE DROWNED ME IN ENDLESS LEGAL MESS (FALSE OF COURSE) SHE POISONED ALL MY FAMILY OF 10 BROTHERS AND SISTERS PLUS NEPHEWS AND NICSES, COUSINS, NEIGHBORS AND YOU NAME IT!!!
    I'M MARKED EVERYWHERE I GO!!! I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND GO BACK!!! I'M STUCK!!! ISOLATED, SICK AS A DOG, BEARLY STAND ON MY FEET, MY SKIN IS BLEEDING WITH RUSH, VOMETING, I CAN'T WALK MORE THAN 3 STEPS, MY HAIR IS FALLING OFF,
    I EAT LIKE AN INJURED ANIMAL,
    I SLEEP LIKE AN INJURED ANIMAL,
    I HAVEN'T LEFT THE ONE BEDROOM DARK BUNKER/ APARTMENT FOR NEARLY 4 YEARS NOW!!!
    RECENTLY SHE FAINALY HAD A STROKE AND IN COMA ( VEGETABLE/ DEAD PLANT)!!!
    AND GUSS WHAT???
    IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!
    DESPITE THE FACT THAT I WASN'T NEAR HER FOR OVER A YEAR!!! YOU KNOW WHAT???
    I PUT MY HEAD ON IT:
    SHE MURDED MY FATHER WHO DIED ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME YEARS AGO!!! IN MY DREAMS HIS SCREAMING TO ME FROM HIS GRAVE, THE "PENNIES" OF MEMORIES DROP ON ME LIKE A SLOTH MACHINE!!!
    MY FATHER WAS PERFECTLY HEALTHY, HARD WORKING MAN, NEVER SAW A DOCTOR IN HIS LIFE, NEVER NEEDED ANY MEDICATION IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE!!!
    NOW I SAY THIS:
    NO!!! I WILL NOT PRAY FOR HER!
    I WILL NOT FORGIVE HER ANYMORE!!!
    I DO WISH HER TO REMAIN VEGETABLE FOR ANOTHER 50 YEARS AT LEAST SO SHE CAN'T HAVE PEACE AND NEITHER THE REST OF THE NARCSISTIC FAMILY!!!
    YOU MUST REMEMBER:
    NARCSISEM IS A PROFESSION!!! IT'S NOT JUST ANOTHER DISORDER!!! IT'S A CHOICE BAD PEOPLE MAKE!!!
    THEY FULLY AWARE OF THEIR WRONG DOING & MASTERS OF EVILS!!! IT'S A SOCIAL CANCER ON A GLOBAL SCALE SINCE BIBLICAL TIMES!!! IT'S THE CORE OF ALL EVIL!!!
    BE CAREFUL COZ YOU GONNA BE SORRY AND IN A MATCH WORSE PLACE, TRUST ME PLEASE!!!
    GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOU! 🌷❣

  • Kevin Hornbuckle

    James, we have a lot in common. My mother was a narcissistic abuser. I was with her when she died, even though I had every reason not to be. She was horribly abused when she was a girl and never got over it. She ruined my brother thoroughly. I must avoid him completely. You are showing others how to come to grips with this awful upbringing. That's the best we can do. You never deserved the way your mother treated you. You are a strong man now. Blessings.

  • שושי סקירה

    I highly recommend to you and all NARCS VICTIMS TO START WATCHING REAL CRIME STORIES ON YOU TUBE!!! I PROMISE YOU ALL: THEN YOU WILL BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND & LEARN THE SERIOUSNESS, SEVERITY AND DANGER OF BEING NEAR A NARC!!!
    MANY OF YOU WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO PUT MISSING PIECES OF YOUR ENIGMA TOGETHER!!! HAVE A GO AND SEE WHAT THIS MONSTROUS CREATURES ARE CAPABLE OF, HOW MUCH THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH BEFORE SOMEONE NOTICES THEM AND HOW MANY VICTIMS THEY BURRY BEFORE THEY GET ARRESTED!!!
    NO!!! NO PRAYERS FOR THEM!!!
    NO!!! NO FORGIVENESS FOR NARCS/PSYCHOPATH!!!

  • שושי סקירה

    Dear beutifull James
    IT'S MY THIRD COMMENT ON THIS VIDEO TODAY.
    SORRY MATE, I'M SERIOUSLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I LISTENED TO THIS ONE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND I CAN'T RELAX!!!
    NOT ABOUT THE FORGIVENESS AND PRAYERS, IT'S YOUR PRIVATE CHOICE. WHAT'S REALLY CONCERNS ME IS THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE NOT LEARNED ANYTHING FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE!!!
    YOU CAN FORGIVE & PRAY AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, BUT FROM FAR AWAY!!!
    WITH AN OLD SICK NARC MOTHER AND NARC BROTHER????
    YOU ARE IN FOR TROUBLES BIG TIME!!!
    NO CONTACT IS NO CONTACT!!!
    PARTICULARLY IF THERE IS MONEY OR INHERITANCE OF ANY SORT INVOLVED!!! CAN YOU READ MY MIND? NO! I'M NOT PARANOID!!! TRUST ME PLEASE AND BE CAREFUL! I DON'T KNOW YOUR FULL CIRCUMSTANCES AND STORY, I'M JUST ABLE TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES PLUS MY EXPERIENCE!!!
    BE GOOD, TO YOUSELFS!!!

  • Andrea Peebles

    Hi James, yes I have the same mother you have, and many sisters that try to plague me, because my mother had 13 children by a few different men, two died. I am the only one with the Mexican father which makes me Mexican and black. They all always treated me different and I always felt out of place with these people. After this one sister died March 25 this year, I never felt so free and I truly hate to say that but she was the one my mother pushed on me when we were very young children. She dressed us up alike as if we were twins or something. She was one of the mothers golden kids and she always tried it stick on me to make me fail and the funny thing is, I’m just finding this out about her hating me to the extreme like 2 years ago. But after she passed I did “NO CONTACT “ with all of them and my fake mother, sorry about that. I love her and I forgive her but I just cannot be near her or talk to her because then she calls my psychotic older sister who treated me like a dog at my sister that passed away memorial. And that sister died from lung cancer and my mother has bone cancer and still causing strife? Go figure, no we now know why.

    I said about that older sister “that is the last time you’re going to disrespect and think it’s okay.” She has been mad at me because I had a boyfriend that kept me away from them all and I let him do it because I was glad to be away from them and she never wanted me or the sister that passed to have a man, I could never understand that one though, when she had her husband and family? Although, I knew it wasn’t right what this boyfriend was doing to me emotionally and mentally, but come to find out that he was a sadistic, evil, controlling narcissistic man too! So I discarded him on March 2, of this year as well. But I have been healing rapidly and it hasn’t been long since I dumped that trash “NO CONTACT “ and I forgive him especially because I never see or hear from him. I’m sure he found new supply or had her lined up I prayed for whoever she is. But I also learned why I attracted this one and a long ago marriage narcissist many years ago, because I come from generations of narcissist. So I thank God for allowing me to find the education about this personality disorder so I will not attract another narcissist into my life. I also know WE NEED TO DISCARD THE NARCISSIST FIRST, it helps with our healing process, I mean, why let them discard you? They are not worthy to discard us. I have used your videos and reading the comments and this program for my healing, training, and education about these narcissistic individuals. http://WWW.IACHIEVETODAY.COM REGISTER USE MY DISCOUNT CODE “FREEDOM 17” if anyone is interested. I believe that is why I am healing fast because I am creating NEW POSITIVE NUERO PATHWAYS IN MY BRAIN and that’s what we need coming out of relationships like this. Thank you James because I can really relate to your story.

  • sunshine

    I have a civil relationship with my 91 year old Mom, always wishing it was different but accepting it. She has a caretaker she is leaving her money to and I don't care. She calls and like you said it is out of my hands, I just pray. I can so relate.

  • Lisa Smith

    James, I cannot do it. I LOVED my Mother and she did TERRIBLE, UNSPEAKABLE WRONG TO ME. I found you in 2012. I have been a subscriber under different email user names. I am glad you are a Believer. I am one too. But unable to get past the harm, I ended up in such a struggle for pure survival, and also enduring her hot/cold behavior until I CUT HER OFF. SHE DIED SOON AFTER OF CANCERS. SHE WAS TRULY EVIL TO ME. UGH. CLAIMED CHRIST ON TOP OF ALL THAT. Pretty much as wicked as my abuser Narcissistic former husbands. I divorced, all but one who died, repentant, thankfully. But each time after much abuse was I SNAGGED BY ANOTHER one, I AM PERFECT FOR THEM! UGH! I have been celibate for 2 plus years and no boyfriends. I would live to marry again, to a REAL CHRISTIAN. NOT FAKES. ESPECIALLY FAKE MONSTER NUMBER TWO. T …J…S.M.I.T.H

  • Aya

    James, maybe forgiving 4 them is also part of testing us as to fullfil God's word & to be deserved to be his children & being the souls he expect from us to be (though its not easy to forgive, it might seemed as impossible but if we r doing things that its hard to do as its part of proving our loyalty to God (& not thinking on ourselves as how we r not able to forgive or dont want to forgive bcs of anger of what they did to us but puting God 1st) this is maybe part of a challenge & its to keep better our souls as to be deserved God's trust on us as being how he wanted us to be when he created us.
    & maybe even when we forgive them, i believe those souls will have their challenge/challenges & by that a chance to improve to God again & to be saved

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