narcissist videos

WHY I DON'T JUDGE NARCISSISTS



It’s one thing to be quite frustrated and angry when you have ongoing strains with a narcissist, but it’s an entirely different matter when you settle into a deep pattern of judgment toward that person. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter explains 12 reasons why he has decided not to nurse a judgmental attitude toward narcissists.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. He has conducted many workshops and over 60,000 counseling in the past 39 years.

Books by Dr. Carter: https://www.amazon.com/Anger-Trap-Yourself-Frustrations-Sabotage/dp/0787968803/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1534952299&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Anger+Trap


https://store.bookbaby.com/book/When-Pleasing-You-Is-Killing-Me

Laura Charanza’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Ugly-Love-Survivors-Story-Narcissistic-ebook/dp/B07FZ6NPKW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533043537&sr=8-1&keywords=9781543933888

While Dr. Carter and Laura do not conduct online counseling, we have vetted a group that can meet such a need: https://betterhelp.com/survivingnarcissism
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Dr. Carter’s other YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZlt…

Dr. Carter’s video workshops on narcissism, anger management, and overcoming infidelity: http://drlescarter.com/video-workshops/

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIELB1mz8wMKIhB6DCmTBlw

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27 Comments

  • Sarah

    Very good video. So would you tell the narcissist what you found out about him and his possible personality disorder as an ex-partner?

    Maybe that could help to save his life because then he knows why he always feels so different.

    Maybe he could seek treatment (he has frequent depressive tendencies with suicidal thoughts, too).

    Or would that be demonstrating "superiority", too?

  • Janet Mcbee

    !Yes!
    ( jtlyk ~ I'm going to Try to keep my responses short, in knowing you have others that respond, and Time is Precious.
    I Respect that,,, Ok🙂!)
    I understand, Totally!!!.
    Your Helpfulness is ,,well,, just Wonderful!
    🌼Thank you
    Dr. Carter!🌼
    ♡have a
    good one!♡

  • Diana Allison

    Hi Dr. Carter..u R so Right On abt this issue & thx. I grew up in Dallas, Tex..& attended Sunset Hi Sch in the 60's. Also went 2 Lida Hoe Elem..& we lived in So. Oak Cliff area 4 awhile. I wonder if any of these schools even still exist, along w/Zumwalt Jr. Hi (?). Course ..i dont know how long u've lived in the Dallas area..but I enjoyed living there..other than the humidity. But..i truly appreciate your great videos..& thx muchly, Diana A. 🌝🌝

  • peace compassion

    I'm living with a narssisist. I saw many videos which say all negative. According to me it is not as bad as it is being said. He has all the signs, characteristics but he is not as bad as a narssisist is potrayed. He is totally dependant on me. He appreciates me, shows gratitude. He is ready to do anything for me. This is not a new relationship. Its 15 years old. So I realised that he is not that bad and I can still live with him. He is going through depression. He is a human being and I have to humane with him.

  • Jn 10:27-28

    This sounds right to me. ❤
    (Jn 7:24)
    Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

    (Mtw 7:1-6)
    Judge not, that you be not judged. 

    For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

    And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 

    Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 

    Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. 

    Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.

  • Bells WIn

    Can forgiveness be more about trying to understand what makes them up? Why they are what they are but at the same time protecting yourself? They will continue to undermine, ridicule and alienate you from others if they can. Does that make isolating yourself from them wrong?

  • Irene Stolz

    Can a narcissistic be a born again Christian since they cannot sincerely express empathy, etc. . This is needed for redemption. They r void of recognizing their faults. It's never their fault for anything.
    They cannot understand love. The love of God is to receive God's redemption. His love is beyond human love. They r so shallow they won't deal with broken relationships. They r master manipulators. They r in denial.
    They must be the center or attention. They feel superior to others. Humility is a key to being born again it is the Christian belief and lifestyle.
    No one judges other than God while others live in their circle of life leaving hurt upon hurt behind.
    Christianity is totally different than how a narcissist lives. That is why others say to have zero contact with a narcissist.

  • fern fern

    Thank you Mr.Carter ! I think you videos on YouToube help me to grow as a person . Your videos give me more confidence in myself and contribute making my life a ritcher experience. Have a good day !

  • Shawni Ysais

    You know what bothers me? My mom doesn't know why I don 't speak to her or see her. She thinks I "hate" her. I don't. I feel bad for her
    I always have. I know her background, alcoholic father, apologetic mother, married herself out of the house at 19. He was killed, remarried to the 21-year-old town playboy at 22 who already had a family of toddlers. Drinking, fighting, NEVER saw them exchange a kind word. Fast fwd 4 years later and they are hard at it while he has an affair (one or more). Fast fwd 4 more years and they are divorced. He remarries only a few months later. On April Fools' Day. (Haha very funny.) It does bother me that they BOTH don't know why I am No Contact. Explaining would get me nowhere. Just a union between two damaged souls that should never have taken place. It produced two more damaged souls who have no family, (except the ones they created, thank God) no relationship between them as siblings
    It's a crime and a waste, and brigs me more heartbreak and sorrow than any of them know.

  • Dazie Bennett

    Ya I've been climbing out of this mind set for several years & yes I have every symptom mentioned. What I'm confused about is how both healthy people & conslers grew judgmental thinking & demands inside me. In the last 40yrs I've watched sociaty agree & pramote asertivness that grew into hold accountable all based on each personal prescription of any given situation (good or bad) sociaty has even agreed to hold victims accountable for the effects of other people's abuse so it's another comen demand LOL that decides consequences made from personal perceptions SORRY SOCIATY that's resulting in violent rites – public shootings & suicide

    Yes I agree narcistic people will not change AND when any of there victims become accountable for the effects inside there thinking that person gets better & might become functional healthy members of sociaty. Healthy thinking people confuses words EXAMPLE = calling enduring ( they servived ) LOL we didn't survive we endured LOL we have all agreed to call that survival the modern day mental health issues the glitch is victim's haven't survived unless they were lucky enough to have a safe healing place without demands of that person staying accountable in all responsibilitys ( that's also called fantasy thinking ) my best guess at this point in time is revictomizing the scapegoats could hold valuable insite to possable solutions. scapegoats say the real truth & get attacked by the narc. They also say the real truth in public & told no with politically corrected beliefs

    Don't get me wrong I'm very grateful for these video's & the others that help me understand how to fix myself I'm just noticing a dangerous glitch I'll call it sociaty consoling for a lack of better word's sociaty would benefit from consoling in several areas many seeming to have a comen root of empathy

    Empathy is not a feeling or emotion. empathy is grace & mercy ( bygones be bygone ) an action word that is helpful to all with the freedom to accept any human that disagrees or refuses. Yes we call something like this a farytail BALANCE PLEASE

    To have Empathy people need a similar event to empathise = understand

    To have healthy Empathy you understand some of the healing invierment that's helpful

    To have functional Empathy you would understand a little about when & how long to house – feed & nurse a person without calling it charity = true empathy understands the difference between endured & servived

    It's interesting how many scapegoats keep saying the real truth and become dysfunctional doing all the right things while precived by most as sucseful only to end up insane & homeless. LOL my confusion is how does a person servive mixed messages when there still enduring mixed messages of sociaty at large

    Best I've figured out is to stay isolated & keep rerasing myself & thankfully there's video's like this cuz it conferms allot of my self education trial & earrer was right & both healthy people & conslers kept trying to exsplane TOUGH LOVE. I finally decided denial is'ent just the addicted people there is what I call denial & lies of sociaty – the problem is I don't have free money in the mail I have to work & can't – I can't even just eat 3 × a day. I'm lucky cuz I make 1020.00 taking care of a 98yr old life long scapegoat and recently found affordable mental help on you tube. My basic bills are 1800.00 a month. It's so funny I'm still going homeless doing all the right things. That is mixed up with people that complain to much so isolating myself with no heat is the closest healing enviroment I've found. Lol now I need to be accountable to get a living wage before I can grow survival skills to interact with other people & skills to stay clear of narcs. LOL I'm sorry but these seemingly reasonable solutions are telling scapegoats they have to stay in a burning house without panicking or trying to get out of a fire while sociaty agrees it's humanly possable to accomplish. Lol the correct use of empathy is showing it's self to be a useful guide & filter

  • Melanie.L

    Good advice dr Carter but you have to live the situation to know what it feels like!! it"s a non ending loop that takes you into this down spiral where you feel so exhausted you cannot think any more

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