narcissist videos

What if you recognize narcissistic tendencies in yourself?

What if you recognize narcissistic tendencies in yourself? “Hi Meredith, First up, thank you so much for all your wonderful videos. My question for SANA is this: I was an only child raised by two narcissistic parents (Dad overt, Mom covert). We always lived with Dad’s short temper but I was Mom’s golden child for 17 years and until I beacme ill and became her scapegoat. My maternal grandmother I believe also had a severe form of BPD. 3 years ago it had become so bad and they had started to abuse by proxy and I got out (now virtually NC), but the unknowing betrayal of a couple of dear friends (now close friends of theirs) felt like it would kill me. While I’ve done a lot of therapy and work to recover from the severe anxiety and CPTSD symptoms, I can unfortunately recognise narcissistic tendencies in myself. Any advice on how to work with this? I have a pretty heightened awareness of how I am viewed and what this means, in a weird narcissistic kind of way. I’m pretty desperate to break the cycle, and be truly happy, kind and authentic! Do you have any advice at all on this?”

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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor — She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal after abuse and transform your life. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. She recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and understands these dynamics extensively in order to help you with the Complex-PTSD, especially in the early stages of recovery. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!

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  • Belly Dancer

    weird question, when we are trying to self improve and trying to be who we want to be, how is it different from a narcissist for example apart from manipulation? For example the old saying "Fake it til you make it" in the sense of implementing change and behaviour you want to see in yourself. Don't narcs do this as well and what makes it ok that we strive for better but not them? Also, being who you are, would trying different things be going against our natural pursuit? For example I have been criticized because I change hobbies and musical interests etc and I'm sexually fluid but I don't see a problem with it and I feel like I learn a lot and it keeps life interesting. I left my toxic "freinds" because they started accusing me and calling me weird because I do change things up a lot. I don't do it to copy others I just grow to like or dislike things on my own terms. So when I hear about narcs and their different personalities it makes me wonder if it's meant that way in my case. I even change my educational focus points and career choices So I'm not sure what exactly the problem is with other people judging me for this.

  • Tubetopfan1

    There are numerous shared traits between narcs and codependents. Probably the most common one is the overwhelming need or craving for validation or "energy" through those around them. Another is that each will try to control those around them in some fashion-the first through lies and manipulation and the second, mostly through deeds and sacrifices. Though codependents can often make life difficult for those around them, they are MOST miserable themselves. Narcs, on the other hand, don't have the real capacity to "feel" or have empathy and, therefore, only make their "victims" unhappy.

    I guess what I'm TRYING to say is that IF you are a codependent, you WILL have SOME narcissistic tendencies. Just not ALL of them. Recognizing you have those tendencies is one of the key requirements to healing.

  • Kimberly McCracken

    Oh my goodness Meredith. This is the best one yet! What you mentioned about the presidential candidates was so on the mark. They are near carbon copies of my parents. And, as I heal and clean up any of these tendencies in myself, my colon is giving me fits. The root chakra – right there in your survival center. Been very, very ill. Suggestions?

  • Taylor Maurand

    Just seeing this video now, almost a year later. Do you really think that HRC is a covert narc??? Maybe she's just that good, and that's why I don't see it, but I also am super sensitive to these things. How could I miss that? Or is that precisely why I was wanting to be on her side? But still, as of now, I question that assessment, and I think it's important. My sense of the election was that it was really easy for people on all sides of the fence to disparage Hillary Clinton, because she was a woman. Even with Bernie Sanders, he said a lot of the same things she did, and people got right behind him, because he was a cantankerous old man. If she looks like she was putting on an act, it's because the bar was so much higher for her. She had to constantly be on her guard not to slip even the tiniest bit, and even then, someone could always find something wrong with her. I guess even here. And I still don't buy this assessment, unless you can tell me what makes you think that and back it up. To me, sexism won the election, hands down. We chose a sexist, narcissistic guy, and we did it simply because we were not ready to have a fully qualified, intelligent woman in the office. That seems to be the real issue. Not that we had a narc and a covert narc to choose from. It's that we had an awful guy, and a woman who could have done a really good job, but everyone has found some way to criticize her, just because she's female. I think we all need to be careful of that, and check ourselves to make sure that, even if we are a woman, we are not buying into and perpetuating sexism around us. I love you, Meredith, I just feel wary of this assessment. It does not ring true for me. ❤️

  • Cons and piracy Theories

    The news is crisis everyday. Its a drag. Ididnt watch TV for almost a year until I noticed the news media spying on me and that scared the crap out of me. It made me wonder what they wanted and with losing my best friend /grandfather to alzheimers and thenhaving a friend that wentcrazy and had all kinds of people dying around him and even afraid he might try to kill me. October or November 2015 there was an incidence with him staring at the knives in my bakery right in front of him and him start to say things suggestive of being capable of doing evil things and that he became a gangster and that he was also Jesus. You know when you can sense someone is about to get violent. In positive that had I not said the exact perfect things right then that he was going to grab the knives and try to stab me. Its the only time in my entire life i felt someone was really planning on killing me. His bipolar. And when he says his Jesus its scary.

  • Deborah Savage Shaffer

    Merideth, you have been very helpful to me. I have watched a ton of your videos. One thing that concerns me is that you are all alone with no family and no one else that you are responsible for. Everyone has issues and you are very quick to recommend that people dump their parents and families. This is very concerning to me.

  • OriginalSongs ByAdam

    Interesting you mention the healing crisis. I am recovering from CFS, and that has been a big theme in my climb back to increased vitality. One time it will be of a physical nature(*Oh no, I'm sliding back again.) and the next time it will be of the emotional variety(*Man! There is something wrong with me. How am I still stuck in this emotional cycle). And after each round of crisis, there is better health, less emotional poison, and signs of increasing wholeness.

    Very interesting you actually called out both former candidates as narcissists. I have said that about Obama, Clinton, and Trump, and most will only believe it about the person on the other side of the political fence post. That said, almost all of these people are narcissists. Big time. That is why I do not subscribe to political correctness. To act in such as way as politician would would be the most deceitful and dishonest way of operating. Why would I ever want to do that??

  • Me .Myself

    Good idea to ask oneself about a purpose to give meaning to a new life where those emerging narcissistic traits are not overwhelming anymore. Thinking about how we could impact others and what we do, for the bad and for the good, whether or not we change. Thanks for your channel, which was the first one to make me know about the existence of pathological narcissism, a long time ago. Very valuable.

  • Nevaeh B.

    The problem with being in contact with people who are in the Cluster B spectrum is that you somehow suck up their projections.
    Because what those people generally do is this: they try to take your good qualities and want to own those for themselves while trying to transplant their badness into you.
    It is some kind of strange osmosis they are trying to attempt.
    So an empath who is still kind of unaware of what is really going on often starts acting out in some way or another.
    This is why even good people can become totally detached from themselves.
    Removing yourself from nasty people sometimes works wonders.

  • Bettina La Coste

    How do you respond to the commandment, honor thy parents when your parents didn't parent on time? Answer: by re-parenting yourself…maybe that's all we can do. After crucifying me my whole life one of the parents uses me for her life-coach like she's talking to herself in the mirror. She cares very little for the quality of my own life, while she is comparitively rolling in the doe. I cannot get ahead to afford a life-coach. We visited once. Thank God for videos. Right? You say we are worthy of love, but not husband-love, since nobody wants a woman that is simply road-pizza.

  • Souly Pena

    Thank you for this. It seems like there aren’t as many resources for recovery for the narcissist. I don’t know if I am for sure, but signs are pointing in that direction. I think this has been the most helpful to do some of my own healing and process towards some kind of resolve. Can you suggest articles, blogs, books or other resources for the codependent covert narcissist?

  • hilaloytun

    I always read and watch words like "beat the narcicist, get away from them, they can't change…" etc. They might be narcicist, aren't they still humanbeings. And among milenials narcicism is like 70% procent. So shouldn't we try to find ways to live with narcicists normally?

  • Mike Elliott

    My dad died when i was five and i was left with a narc mother who berated me, put me down and always abandon me as a child, she never gave me love.
    She had abusive boyfriend after boyfriend which i now realise affected me more than i thought.
    One of her relationships threw a bottle at me and shouted at me and mum did nothing.
    Another relationship of hers threw me against the garage door.
    When i left home at 18 i thought i would be better off but i was wrong i never saw the change in me that happened i took many drugs mostly canabis.
    After years of failed relationships and the adoption of my son i eventually found a needy girl who was abandoned by her abusive father and saw a girl who was a bit dim and damaged due to not being taught life skills from her father and the rape she had suffered by a previous boyfriend and thought i could help her be better than she thought was even possible for her to achieve, i thought i ended up falling in love with her and probably did but i switched between treating her so bad then like a princess for 18 years putting her down treating her like a child and then one day i suffered a anurisum that should of killed me but instead i walked out untouched (or so i thought)
    But then after a year i grabbed my girlfriend at the time by the wrist and raged at her for help.
    But the funny thing is i saw what i was doing as if i was out of body and standing to the side of myself doing this horrible deed and it scared me to the core.
    I then said i needed to leave, packed up some of stuff and went to my narc mothers where i thought i would be able to get better
    But when i got there she said everyday "get in your box" (my room) as if i was 16 again even though i am 40 now and would lock the door behind me and only open it when she went to bed so i could go to a new job i had got while i was there.
    She would blame me for any ill's her cats would have and then one day she beat me up and violently attacked me one night and had me arrested for assualt.
    I spent 15hrs in a police cell after standing at the custody desk with blood pouring out of my mouth from my head being thrown against a kitchen sink and being punched twice in the face.
    I spent two months living on the living room floor of my friends while i tried to get my thoughts and life back in order.
    It strained my relationship with them after my ptsd that i suffered from my anurisum giving me short term memory loss and causing them to start hating me because i was being forgetful and disrepectful.
    I have now moved back into my ex's (victums) flat as i didn't have anywhere to go.
    She is sort of helping me but i want to end this life of poison and hate and as she has moved on but says he's only a friend i know this is not right but she keeps hiding this other guy from me and i feel i can get better with her help and by seeing her pictures of this 'new friend" in a hope it will help me see what i have done by pushing her to this new person and hurting her like i did.
    I am now trying so hard to learn from her and you tube videos to try and stop this disorder.
    I hope i can be the caring, empaphic person i so badly want to be but i have a long way to go, but i will get there i have to or will die trying.

  • Zzul Ma

    When I had a daughter I noticed my envy towards her happiness and I started to look inside of me because I had no idea why my mother was always sabotaging me and I was starting to feel like sabotaging my daughter. Over the time I noticed the cycle. Good video.

  • Marco Digital

    My relationship is falling apart because I’m what I now realise is a narcissist, big time. There’s a one year old daughter involved and I’m terrified I can’t change.. I’ll just forget in a week or 2 and just go back to my usual self. Does anyone think I can actually change?? I’d do anything to do so because it’s so self destructive and just destructive in general. I think I might actually eventually die because of it. I’m surprised I haven’t already with my behaviour and what scares me most is.. I love my daughter with all my heart like nothing else but I don’t want to be a bad example for her

  • Kevvy InGodITrust

    I’ve noticed them in me. I’m working ever so hard in taking full responsibility for myself with healthy boundaries. There are many people that I’m subconsciously shutting out of my life. One month NC atm. I’m already starting to thrive with a few blips here and there.

    I hope this helps someone out there. Please check out Pastor RC Blakes on YT. His narc insight is worth a listen.

  • invidcyborg

    After dumping narcissistic traits, I realized I was just copying how people acted around me. Self-serving ungrateful pessimistic people that are bored. They create social drama around them just they can feel alive. There is so much more to the world than thinking in only in 3 dimensions.

  • Dala Dala

    I think having a codependent mother, is as damaging as having a narcissist dad. The attention and smothering from my mom is really really power taking. My mom literally taking my power, by "taking care" of me, and when you ask to stop, she guilt trap you. Man, it is just awful.

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