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Toxic Shame As a Result of Relationship With a Narcissist/Psychopath-Why It Hurts So Much!



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27 Comments

  • Wonder Woman

    Yes, my ex mother-in-law never let me say a word without critiquing it. Would ask me questions but I was too afraid to answer because nothing would be safe. She talked my ex into leaving me over the years and then tried to call me and befriend me. As soon as I told her I got a promotion at work she never called again.

  • Marcia Noren

    Thank you for hearing our need to understand this piece of the puzzle. Brilliant analysis, P&H! ❤ The malevolent sabotage of who you are does underlie all of their small and large insults. I found it despicable enough that the narcs I've been surrounded by (in my foo and in the family I created) didn't comprehend my humanitarian concerns, beyond family matters. It's helpful to know that narcissists suffer from jealousy over the positive traits they see in others, and know they don't have. I like knowing that they know they are deficient!!!

  • Liverpoolfc6timeschampions

    Peace and harmony it literally feels like you have them in you, the boundary violation, I sometimes have looked in the mirror and can literally see them in me (I know it sounds crazy) whenever I get a look or a comment, if my boundaries aren't good, it literally pierces right through me, thank you again so much for all you do xxxx

  • Sue Sipp

    i like that. ..i was being moved from my place of my Origin~ As i am healing and getting back to my place of origin, there are areas inside i have laid dormant for years where this all started. This last relationship was such an eye opener. I couldn't understand how he could be mean to a person like me. His sisters couldn't understand it as well. They were hoping i would be the Angel as his Mother would call me, to heal him. Instead i became so broken and pushed down and they saw it and they tried talking to him but of course that just made him more mad!! So, it has been the little girl in me trying to heal the relationship with my two fathers when i was very little. I consciously only remember the step father, the only father i remember. My real Dad picked the bottle over me, so Mom left him when i was 2. My Step Dad was a harsh man compared to other Daddies i saw and wished for. He never taught me anything, just enjoyed calling me stupid. I only felt comfortable going to Mom to show her what i learned today on the TV. Then at 13 he disowned me because Mom left him. But before he did that, he took me to see a divorce movie at the movie theater. Then came to my school and in the hallway as i was coming up to greet him he screamed, "Your Mother is a Whore". The principal came rushing out to pull in inside the office. Then he sat beside me and in a crying like voice asked me, "Why did your Mother leave me?" OK so, can you image how i felt at 13? Of course i didn't have an answer for him, i was in shock of what just took place. This was in the early 80's. So my whole adult life i have been acting like a lost little girl looking for a man to love . When i wasn't picking men i would shelter myself from the world. When i would go pick men, they were wounded like myself, and instead of healing one another, more wounds were made.

  • Free from Narcissistic abuse

    The thing that really was the straw that broke the camels back was when I was with my narcissist he would not let me call 911 when an old man was driving falling asleep at the wheel he could’ve been having a stroke he was nodding off anything to be going on he wouldn’t let me, no one took my phone away! No empathy whatsoever this man had had health issues himself!!

  • Teresa Dexter

    bebop
    "their goal is to steal your essence"……yes that's exactly right…..I felt my essence, my sense of self, was pulled out of me, pulled to pieces, disdained and mocked, then roughly pushed back inside me …..the reassembling of myself was painful and so unlike my original essence, as I lost several people who were important to me……and made to feel unlovable and false…..untrustworthy and hollow.I lost myself and only felt fit for the dump or to be thrown to the dogs

  • Evanna Allen

    Hey P&H 💚✨ This channel helped me soooo much when I was experiencing Narcissistic Abuse about 18mths ago. After some time happily alone I am now in a healthy relationship with a lovely man from a beautiful family. Recently realising a family friend is Histrionic Personality Disorder with Narcissistic traits and is manipulating and undermining everyone around her, including destroying 2 families with children and cleaning men out financially with nothing really to show for it. I feel SO sorry for her partner who is a lovely man and been convinced HE is the "perpetrator" because he was persuaded to go out to a nightclub by his "best mate" and business affiliate, (who is also a married man having affair with her!) WORST part is everyone knows except him and its like she's actually thriving off the drama and deception! I feel like he deserves to know, and will need guidance & support which I feel my partner and I – along with coaching from specialists like yourself – can help provide. I am worried she may even drive a good man to violence. I haven't told him because I don't want to be a "trouble maker" .. but morally I feel I should. What should I do? She's been using him for 6yrs and has literally cost him millions, all while disrespecting, lying, cheating, gaslighting, even stealing! I really value your advice. 🙏

  • New Beginnings

    It's been six months since I awoke to the fact I was raised by a Narcissist.. Needless to say I've been around them all my life.. Today is the first day of my entire life I accept ME.. Thank you for your part now and in the future in my healing journey. ❤ God Bless You… I'm looking forward to new adventures without these kind of people in my life..

  • Harzburgitic

    She absolutely hated my talents and successes even though she was a main beneficiary. I was always abandoned outright or made to feel alone and unworthy because she would withhold approval and show disappointment at my achievements. I never dreamed that she enjoyed watching me nearly kill myself working 19 hour shifts to pay all the bills and I do mean all. I was alone every step of the way and not only did she withhold approval and praise but she sabotaged and tried to derail my efforts to make a better life for the two of us and our future family dream that was never fulfilled.
    Here I am 13 years later, still no family and years of my life stolen from me, gray hairs and alopecia from the stress and shame of failing after trying so hard not realising that she was deliberately sabotaging my efforts so that I would feel like a loser like she feels about herself.

    But not all is lost! I fought and achieved my qualifications and my quality of life has greatly improved. I feel sad that my greatest motivation was to be able to provide everything for her and she's not here with me to celebrate or enjoy the fruits of years of hard work. I feel like even though she put me through hell that somehow I would not have achieved this without her because I did it for the both of us and she was "with" me during that struggle. It's so sad. I feel sorry for her now because I want absolutely nothing to do with her now that I understand what was really going on. I'm a little wiser now though. The whole situation was a necessary life course and I'm thankful. My ability to be empathic will not be exploited by anyone ever again, especially not a covert narc!

  • Bado Maji

    Is there a time in the life of a narcissist that they consciously make the decision, when they consciously take that fork in the road and decide to spend their life force pulling others down rather than using that energy to develop the skills in themselves that they are so envious of in others? Thank you Peace and Harmony, you are a goddess!

  • v

    I could finally breath after listening to you say what you did. Let it go, let them win, that's their problem they put onto me and it is not my problem any more. I literally felt lighter at the end of listening to this as if I no longer had a heavy weight to carry. I had been talked to as if I meant absolutely nothing in the world to anyone, stabbed it felt like. Now I know it's them, it's their problem, they gave it to me and now I'm giving it back and letting them have it all on themselves. Thank you!

  • MetaMarkus I am That I am

    All Cluster B's are ABUSERS! : ( We are not the Chosen Ones we are the Targeted Brainwashed & Gas Lighted Ones w/there misplaced anger. Tired of dealing with False (or any) Accusation then being Attacked – Questioned – Doubted along with the Criticism…(Focused on there Obsessions, Shaming & not our own Truths, where they do not allow us to be true to ourselves – is over now!) also tired of there DisEmpowerment & All Mighty being "RIGHT" all the time ~ I get it! – Finished with their Authority over others & the Shame & intention to Hurt another with constant Condemnation & holding us in contempt (Exactly). YES! I see how they control the flow of information (Hostility, Shouting victim mentality) to not allow Communication, Reflection, Expression. Ty P&H as you bring & provide Mental Stability for all of us Empowered Harmonizers : ) Namaste’

  • zumzy u

    No One honestly deserves to be cheated on at any circumstance or be with a Narcissist this is the reason why we have failed relationships last month I suspected my wife cheating on me a friend recommended an hacker to me on instagram patrick_allen777 I contacted him and he helped me get cheating proves by helping me hack her phone giving me full access to everything she does on her phone if you suspect your spouse cheating on you text/whatsapp him +15182900093 he would help you out you can email him spytechenterprise@gmail.com

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