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The Narcissist 3 favorite phrases (Covert Narcissism Toxic Relationship NPD Coaches)



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The narcissist 3 favorite phrases (Covert Narcissism Toxic Relationship npd coaches)

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28 Comments

  • Steve Bosley

    "YOU THINK TOO MUCH."
    "YOU'RE CRAZY."
    ALWAYS ANSWERED PHONE CALL FROM ME WITH "WHERE ARE YOU?" INSTEAD OF HOW ARE YOU DOING. OR HELLO I LOVE YOU. THIS BECAME APPARENT TO ME THAT IT WAS ABOUT CONTROL AND PARANOIA. ALWAYS CONCERNED ABOUT WHERE I WAS AT. PROJECTION????

  • V Wolff

    That’s always blown my mind. I could tell a narc where we were sitting and the context of conversation and directly quote them. “Never said that.” or “That never happened” and they seem to really believe this. They get very upset as if you’re accusing them of murder. Eventually I just gave up. This person is obviously doesn’t live in reality. Then the narc would be “nice” and on their best behavior for a few days to try and make up for it. So they have to know they’re doing damage control cause they’ve been caught… right? It’s a mindf***

  • Brooke

    Everything is tit for tat . They have to always have one up on you . If they call and you miss it and call back 30 min later they won’t answer and call you back 31 minutes later 😂 . It’s hard but when you know , you go .

  • Jetty Girl

    The many many insane delusional jealousy accusations, “you’re not listening to me “ even after quoting him exactly and I’m doing all this for you. Thank goodness I ended it after a year of his BS.

  • Bella LaStrange

    1. "You think you know everything, your a know it all" if I had a opinion  2." Stop being a cry baby and grow up "  if I had a real problem 3. "Are you ever happy? "even  if I WAS happy with a smile on my face….Bizarre…….classic bully. Thank you for this community

  • Delessa Durham

    I didn't" hear that never happened" just huge whopper story.

    I heard him say" its me not you"
    To me it was a confusing statement. Never knew what the reference to.

    No again I never heard I was too sensitive.
    He was covert..was under the radar. It was more of texts and private calls..scheme..then he pulls off whatever he plans..or asleep all hours of the day. Very few days was he was awake unless it was payday.

    1 was your cheating on me
    He was cheating I didn't know.
    2. All the bad days was when I was using. Which I couldn't tell when he was using not cause he was mean the majority

    3. Why aren't we together I would say cause u keep using. He becomes violent when he uses.

    4. You deserve someone better. Which was true
    But also looking for empathy, fuel, feel sorry for him.
    I think I fed into that too much.

    5. Its spring and my voices say leave..do what u want..he says my voices want us to be homeless.
    It was just a matter of days til he was gone again.
    The stories he told about when he came back is no way to prove one way or another, covert..under the radar..I never knew what was real or not. It created a lot of confusion. He played the victim. He wants everyone to feel sorry for him.
    6. Wanted to know why his kids won't take care of him. They owe him(so he says)
    He's 45
    Kids are 30, 26,24.
    He had.kids at 15 years old wanted to be a dad and have party buddies. So the kids are just like him.
    He is a closet user..as he doesn't share his drugs,alcohol with anyone but himself.
    There's a lot of projection its just hard to break it down with all his covert under the radar maneuvers.
    Everything was lies, deceipt, manipulation. Of one sort of another. I am just scrapping it all up to be 99% lies.

    I am glad he's gone and hope that it stays that way.

  • Angela

    1) There’s more arguing in our relationship than any I’ve had before this (because I told him that I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone that wants to argue all the time, so he constantly threw this in my face to try to get a reaction out of me). I later used the phrases “you seem conflicted” and “conflict”, in which he adopted the word conflict to use in place of argue. Lol!
    2) Yes, I have problems…but, you have problems too! (Emotional immaturity).
    3) Yes, I have done bad things in our relationship…but, you’re not perfect! (Emotional immaturity). “Bad things”, what educated professional business man in his 50’s uses the phrase “bad things”. Doesn’t even match his persona!!!!
    4) You are 1 beautiful woman!
    5) I am 1 lucky man!
    (It appears he picked up #4 and #5 from his last gf/relationship, from what I viewed of her Facebook profile (after he left me). I noticed her sisters words to her “you are 1 beautiful woman” in a comment years before he started dating her. It’s not like this phrase is used by many or is trending! I’m sure his gf used this with him and he liked it and copied to impress future gf’s:) It works!!!
    6) The things you say to me are insulting! (Whenever I stated the truth).

  • Sana Marin

    The most telling projection that the "Narc" would espouse, was the accusation that "I" was competitive. Telling. ….Isn't it funny how they "Tell" on themselves! So, for those of us who are creatives-be aware–they wanted to lower the bar- and ability of expression of original thinking. The true creative self!

  • Perdido Atlantic

    My narc brother has been in detox, dui jailed, drunk & disorderly jailed, pill popper, prescription fraud, rehab/mental ward for months. Mother-in-law has one beer “SHE’S AN ALCOHOLIC SHE CANT BE AROUND MY CHILDREN”!!

  • Kelly Courtney

    The most common one I hear is "You don't listen" or the variant "Nobody listens to me"
    Another when i might bring up a valid point is an exasperated "I don't care." As in whatever point you have to make, we are still doing it my way.
    Another, and the most annoying, is they simply whine and make a noise like a toddler would…and this is coming from a 57 yr old man mind you.
    I wont be able to leave soon enough from this situation but im still plotting and strategizing my escape. Any advice on the best way to leave. I'm thinking I will need to have most of my things moved out before I announce I am leaving because I know he will try to kick me out on the spot and not afford me any time to pack and move like a normal person would.

  • Tammy J

    narcs always tell on themselves if you know how to hear their confessions. The next time they accuse you of something, what you are actually hearing is a confession of something they alone are guilty of.

  • Tammy J

    After I had caught him with two other women, he had begun getting irritated with my newly found trust issues one day, and out of frustration, he actually had the nerve to say to me, "I need to be in a relationship where I am trusted!" Yeah… REALLY… He said that… Even he got a look on his face of regret immediately following the comment he made… I just laughed as I walked away and said, "Of course you do… How else is your little scam going to work unless your victim is oblivious to your lies?"

  • Aida B

    Related to the Diabolical narc. video….Something important about SEX
    that I WISH I HAD KNOWN EARLIER. Some narcissists CAN be also total givers.
    This may confuse the victim as it’s not definitely the norm –in fact very few
    studies acknowledge this-. But let me elaborate… when that happens this is only
    because of the fuel they get in return, of course. In my case, it got me
    really confused as it was the only part I was not understanding …of the whole
    puzzle…and got me stuck for a while, as it got me thinking he actually cared
    about me. In the end, my relationshit, was sustained on sex and wine, only.

  • Fiona Nixon

    Have been told "I'm going mad," i should see a dr" "you're going through the menopause" he actually convinced family i was going through the menopause when i wasn't. "you've lost the plot" "get a grip", "listen to yourself" and loads more.

  • Lolo

    These demons are nuts.
    1. You may not love yourself but I love you baby… (Said after he left me waiting by the car for an hour while on the phone with someone)
    2. I deserve the Best (Said far too often 🤮)
    3. I'm far from perfect (always said while blaming or shaming me on something) followed by we can talk about my flaws..which never went well.

    He is still busy projecting his Most Eligible Bachelor persona on social media. Yuuuuuccckkkkk

  • Jack Hamilton

    WARNING: adult language, graphic depictions (sex and violence) contained, ADULTS ONLY!

    My Somatic Slut Narc (Anna) ex's fave saying was, "I didn't do anything bad to you". She said this many times after accusing me of cheating a hundred times or more (I never did), blaming me for shit that she did but about which I didn't dissuade her, throwing premeditated tantrums in restaurants and walking out, leaving me dumbfounded at the table 3-4 times, going through my phone and contacting 1 longtime, good friend of mine (female and NO sex) and accusing her of cheating with me and contacting an ex of mine and accusing her of cheating with me, and ultimately, her out-of-the blue-discard when I was 10,000 KM away (I had to return to the states for a wedding) and, GET THIS; the discard came only 1 FUCKING DAY after telling me how much she loved me, missed me, needed me and making me promise to return to her ASAP so we could be together for the holidays! ONE FUCKING DAY! HOW DO YOU SPELL PSYCHO? ANNA, THAT’S HOW! Of course, it took 2 months after the discard before she emailed me and said that she "didn't do anything bad" and gave excuses for leaving me without any discussion at all but which NEVER HAPPENED! NEVER! She later revised her “excuses” to things that ALL HAPPENED AFTER THE DISCARD! Yes, I did some things that I maybe I shouldn’t have AFTER the discard but, WTF, I DO NOT REGRET A SINGLE ONE AND I MIGHT HAVE SOME MORE FUN YET! She took 3-years of my life, my hopes, dreams and thousands of dollars, and used my kindness and love and during it all, she was accusing me of the EXACT THINGS SHE WAS DOING! Am I bitter, pissed off and wanting revenge? FUCK YEAH, I WANT REVENGE, and it’s been 1.5-years since the discard and I’m still hoping she gets hit by a bus, A HUGE, SPEEDING, FILTHY DIRTY BUS, THAT DRAGS HER MUTILATED BODY FOR MILES AFTER SPLATTERING HER ALL OVER THE FRONT OF IT! I soon learned after the discard that she had been cheating on me the entire nearly 3-years we were together, and even after I sold everything (beautiful house, 2 cars, my business, furniture, i.e., EVERYTHING) and moved to be with her in her country and to marry, because she couldn't leave her country! TOP THIS FOR STUPIDITY (MINE), IF YOU CAN!

    She accused me of cheating so many times I can’t recall them all; she was severely controlling, telling what I shouldn’t say and do, what to wear, and she is a social media whore. She even raised HELL because I left a waiter 8 hryvna’s (US 30 cents!) too much in her cheap-ass head but, I couldn’t give her enough of my money! She even asked me to buy a car for her and put it in her name only! That’s when I started giving her less, and less. She took my phone while I was sleeping and read my messages in VK and refused to let me read hers (I later learned she had a secret profile which I told her I KNEW she had but she denied), after one of her “boys” contacted me under false pretenses! Unfortunately for him I am ex-military intelligence and I knew he was full of shit, so I figured out everything and they still both denied it! I told him about her chronic cheating, her NEVER being alone and that she ALWAYS had to have a guy in place before leaving her current partner (she cheated on her ex (2 ex’s before me) and then on the guy she was cheating with then and then cheated on me with that same guy (and others) and then finally found a brand new foreign sucker for the discarding of me. She LOVES foreign guys because it’s difficult for them to keep track of her, and they’re a great resource for money, vacations, etc.! PLUS, I gave her 5 times her annual salary in 2.5-years and she still called me Scrooge! I look back and see very clearly all her fake arguments just to have an excuse to ignore me (silent treatment), block me, etc., so she could work on one of many supply replacements she had lined up and ready to go!

    I should have known she was a useless cum receptacle because she was a great fuck and suck (she should be she had a hundred guys and at age 30!) and quick and often to bed (and anywhere else, even in public) with me (actually, whatever guy meets her needs at the time), and she asked me to masturbate with her and cum on her face the VERY FIRST TIME WE WERE ALONE! (Sorry for the TMI) WHAT AN IDIOT I CAN BE! She also asked me to pretend being her REAL FATHER when she sucked and fucked me!! No, NOT her stepfather, her REAL FATHER! Talk about “shrinkage”, and thank God I had her younger, hot niece to think about at those times, ha, ha!

    Unfortunately, and from the beginning, I refused to listen to my intuition, logic, and common sense, and I told myself my instincts were wrong about her and as she told me continually that I was paranoid and crazy! So, I accept that I am to blame for buying her BULLSHIT and “future faking” about loving me, marriage and having a home and family together, and ignoring the voice telling me to RUN!!!!!

    Thanks for letting me vent, I feel much, much better. I’m still hoping for the bus accident, though. 😉

  • Rian Reese

    I was a jack of all trades, but would always be master of nothing. That was the second Narc. Less time with him 20 months, many years with the 1st narc.. So I realized very quickly that they were one in the same, except first one was covert, second was overt. He was a mocker and bashed anyone and everyone. Because he thought he was high and mighty.

  • Rondevou Sunrise

    He talks about others to me and then minutes later say You always talk about people and I hate that. Or you're a fraud, and a liar. Who you had in my house when I'm not here. Meanwhile he was bringing women continuously when I was at work. Thk God I'm rid of him. Everyone be Blessed and Narc Free!

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