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The most wonderful thing about a Narcissist | The Next Step



The narcissist will create the most beautiful and convincing illusion you have ever encountered.

One of the most disabling facts about recovery from this is getting your head around that the person that you got to know wasn’t actually a person that you knew. Now that actually doesn’t make sense, you dont actually know who they are.

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Please do let me know your thoughts and we can continue the discussion in the community below in the comments or on the blog which can be accessed here:

The resources that I mentioned in the video:
THE NARCISSIST WITH NO FIXED IDENTITY – https://youtu.be/1tJc0_OAnKg

In a relationship with a narcissist: https://youtu.be/QTp27y1j1CU

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MUSIC: Epidemic Sound – Secret Love & Storytelling

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45 Comments

  • Fairuz Firuzorama

    Yeah, unfortunately..😫(Look at the bright side.).😜 They are mirrored our deep,sincere,😿beautiful, loyal feelings back to us so professionally ;🤡 however, we didn't realized that " we were alone in this journey and were in love😘 with ourselves ", only!!
    (Don't remind me💔)!!

  • Ry Ria

    I feel so disturbed by this realization. So what about the devaluing phase of the relationship. I’m trying to take full responsibility for attracting this in my life so I can be responsible for healing and -never being a host again. They do what the do because they see the opportunity. Thanks for just saying it like it is!,

  • Duane Outdoors

    Your content is always good, regardless of the title. It's actually a good way to prod one to really think😊 Your discovery call service is really helpful, it helped me break thru issues I was having with myself👍😊
    This video is good as well. So true that these types seem like they're so interested in us and everything feels amazing and love bomb is a good term for what they do because in the end they about obliterate you when all is said and done. Even tho it hurts us deeply, they are never able to get really deep with you, it may appear that way but they just can't. It's like you start opening up to them and letting them in more and more, but even tho they appear to be deep as well, they really aren't, it's just the effects of their love bombing that distracts us. Good video, thank you😊

  • gus patagonik

    Thanks a lot for this video…
    I've forgotten the main principle….
    The narcissist needs us because we are lovely and good people….
    The cluster B … needs us More than we needs they….
    We don't need predators in our lives….
    And we can't fix these broken people….

  • R N

    This message looks a bit like overshooting the target of creating contend compensation, I do not think it's always possible to see the fixed identity of a person, especially when you are surrounded by people who do not really care, or are not 'smart enough', when I was young for example people trying to see what was going on from a mental healthcare perspective needing 7 people to actually see that I was able to justify my behavior and seeing I was actually a 'fixed identity', not the possible one with a PD, with years to follow, the reason behind that is that my family was the narcissistic source, so who would believe me explaining the impossible that was in 1987, I do not think Narcissist that abuse children have really something wonderful to offer, and not the 2 (adult) relationship I dropped in afterwards when I went nc for 20+ years with that same family, who in the basics where a combination of Cluster B, garden variety psychopaths co morbid npd (diagnosed) 2 of them, more followed with that same pattern of behavior. I also have had good valued relationships, I was considered a 'child genius' (or the chance to be total nuts), but turned out to be a massive hyper empath, (No PD, and no not BPD related). I think people should be very careful to not diagnose any suspicious behavior or thinking further than what is expected, to me there is nothing wonderful about a narcissist, they admire what I am, but never give the credit. (And that doesn't mean dependent credit it simply means, a normal admiration, of life.) I do not think what they mimicry is done with perfection, especially when you see they con everyone with the same loophole, the wonderful thing actually is simply the reality of a cluster B, real bad aftertaste, you feel dirty and have to move on. What really wonderful is to the exception of anything but the narcissist, that you probably find out something that cannot find closure, actually is able to do so now, so that's a contradiction not wonderfull at all, I think that’s why survivors of concentration camps have some similar experience. I think if you force something to survive, it may never be considered wonderful, seen as collateral damage or whatever shrugs you may have from it, it comes down to close ENABLING something you really do NOT want to hold on to. Not to hate either. I do think, al has a purpose, but that responsibility belongs to us, and us alone which is a wonderful thing to experience, the other from the video doesn't belong under the grace of it. Have a nice day.

  • spokeraq

    The gift is that we realise how much we are able to love and how wonderful it can feel.That is not an illusion and is great to know we can. It also shows narcissism is in us all as we fall in love with ourselves, not them. Weird.

  • Kathleen's Caouette

    I appreciate your message and I agree. After several years of the mind spinning, I broke. That was the best thing that ever happened to me because it forced me to accept and then learn about myself and my situation. After a couple of years of deprogramming, this realization hit me. Because he knew I am amazing he wanted to destroy it. He became the amazing parts of me and I fell in love with that. To me , that is a lesson for someone who never felt good enough. Narcissists show you who you really are. And on so many levels.When all is said and done their plan backfired because if you dig deep and use everything you have you will emerge from this experience stronger and more proud of yourself than any other person, place, thing or accomplishment could teach you. Narcissistic abuse brought me to the end of MY false self in order to unveil the beautiful spirit waiting to be freed.

  • Nayla Byxbe

    I feel this is the most beautiful video I have seen from you…at the last when you said the most beautiful things about a narcissist is they are mirroring you….you were definitely speaking from your heart and you, yourself was glowing. I was deeply touched by this presentation because of the love i felt you were coming from…vs..coming from fear, anger and hurt. Thank you…and i will be watching more of your videos.

  • Sarah Z

    I'm INTJ, which is one of the rarest personality types on Earth. Only 2% according to statistics. Guess how many narcissists I bumped into who claimed to be INTJ? Who only mirrored my personality? Their personality is "disordered", as the word suggests; they cannot be nailed down to a MBTI type.

  • Kimberly Morgan

    I agree my ex and I were identical and we lasted 20 years. He left me for another woman and he acts like her now. Goes to church, texts like her, and thinks he is doing better with her than he did with me and our son.

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