narcissist videos

The Extortion of Trust | 10 tactics that narcissists use



If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or other manipulator, you can probably relate to feeling like you were force or coerced into trusting them very early on, before trust was earned. During the grooming phase, they will start the process that I call the extortion of trust. In this video I describe 10 common trust extortion tactics of the narcissist, psychopath, sociopath or other manipulator.

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Intro Credits:
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End Screen Credits:
Photography by Kelsey Smith Photography
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29 Comments

  • 00 Buck

    We are all kind of messed up. Thank you for what you're saying but I think we all have some of these traits in different shades. Somehow we're together on this crazy planet and maybe it's a social Consciousness thing where we're trying to work out our Humanity to grow 2 or higher state of being. I don't know…Very good information and I appreciate it, I learned something

  • Justin Metcalf

    I dated my ex narcissist in high school and he cheated multiple times and emotionally abused me. We were on and off for a long time and finally got back into a relationship in college. He would always tell me I "had" to trust him, and I felt worthless because I knew I didn't. He cheated again and this time it was more abusive than before with physical abuse included. I was experiencing a lot of emotions during this time and came to the realization that my other ex boyfriend raped me when I was 15 and he was 18. I didn't know who else to tell and he played the savior role in this situation just to continue abusing me after I felt like he was actually a good person. Thank you for this, validates a lot of what happened to me.

  • Thrilla Maenilla

    Ruh…R-ohhhhh😳… getting goosebumps.😱 Time to take the healing & therapy seriously. I know the wolf is waiting to eat me 🐺. Why am I hypnotized into believing him that he's a cuddly sheep? 🐑.. 🚩🚩Don't let the trauma bond get out of control people!🚩🚩🚩

  • GretschDog

    No.1, Crisis, and No.7, Buying Stuff. I had a guitar stolen, and the narc gave me the money to replace it (I paid him back a few weeks later). I assumed it was out of true concern and sympathy. But it was just to keep me on the hook so he could play "rock star". If his intentions were valid and just, he would never have been critical and abusive later on. And how dare I question his behavior when he started with the rotten name calling (in public). Once he was exposed, I got the boot !! It was a huge relief !!!

  • Corinna Schütt

    No. 5 "Demanding your Smile" well I did remember my own son being a pretty happy and joyful child years ago with a great Sense of humour but he sadly turned out like a covert narc later appearing quite unhappy and earnest always. I did not "demand" him to (plastic) smile yet I would have loved to see him happy and joyful again as one can also make a crap of their own lives themselves by taking everything dead serious. But I know he has got to change his attitude before that happens…

  • Hübschen GTS

    I'm at odds with some of these "red flags."
    Because I come from a certain family where my grandparents were successful later in life with the companies, and business that my parents both helped grow into more successful ones……
    So I've always been extremely generous and happy to help anyone who was having a hard time or needed a little help or a lot. It did and still does seem like the right thing for someone with extra to offer or gift the one's in need what can be spared or paid back if they would feel better treating it as a loan. So obviously, I've been easily taken advantage of by people who take my warm hearted and generous nature as the greenlight to take my things, borrow and return damaged
    (if at all) or guilt me into giving what I needed and was given to me to survive on, until I started getting in trouble for helping.
    Sorry for the length of all that. But I'm worried that there are several
    "red flags" in this video that have the potential to decrease the empathy that genuinely kind hearted, helpful, generous, trusting, and altruistic people need to show the world around us.
    There's a "global narcissism pandemic" to quote the title of another video by the lovely Meredith of Inner Integration (loves the cranberry smokey eyeshadow BT-dubs) makes your eyes look ultra-blue and pretty.
    Anyhoots……
    Back to the pandemic.
    It's one that exists, and will continue to grow in both size and severity if people become jaded and suspicious to the point where we stop giving, helping, feeling, trusting, listening and hoping like all empathic people inherently do.
    How else are we ever gonna turn things around if not by showing the assholes who became such, usually because they weren't shown how not to be growing up?

  • Orphan

    Narcissist's are demonic beings. Narc that sit in a Christian church are the WORST! Liars. The only thing that will save them is Deliverance. However the Narcs don't want it because they think they are God. LEAVE. Run.

  • Elena Belacastre

    NARCISSISTS COME IN ALL
    WITH THEIR OWN
    *M O*s* 🌈👾👁👁👾🌈

    THEY FLUCTUATE & CHANGE ACCORDINLY.

    I KNOW VERY INTELLIGENT WOMEN WHO WERE

    CAUGHT UP IN THEIR WEB OF LIES & DECEIPT & DIDN'T SEE THE PATTERNS UNTIL IT NEARLY DESTROYED THEM!!!

    WHICH IS WHY TO ME THEY'RE DANGEROUS & HARD TO DETECT RIGHT AWAY!!
    ❌❓💦👾🌪👁👁🌪👾💦❌❓

    I CAN USUALLY SEE THE PATTERNS & RED FLAGS BUT STILL SOME ARE INVISIBLE TO THE NAKED 👁!EYE!!

    FOLLOW UR GUT INSTINCTS & IF UR NOT SURE WHAT UR FEELING , THEN DEFINITLY FOLLOW THAT TOO!! Ahahaha

  • J C

    Oh my my my my!!! I had an extremely wounded and insecure boyfriend years ago who displayed all those behaviors described! He played with my emotions and I did feel “crazy”!Nice to have a description of common actions for future recognition!
    Sadly, this talk reminded me of a highly educated counselor I took my self and my daughter to when she was 17. We were having mother-daughter issues and I was so afraid for our relationship. I heard this wonderful man on a Christian broadcast with his brother and he advertised that he does counseling. Supposedly this man had SEVEN different degrees including all the Counceling/ psych. and is an ex-military chaplain etc. I was drawn into see him …His presentation on the radio sounded perfect for my needs. In getting involved three counseling sessions with him it appeared that he favored my daughters view which was private between him and her ( I sent her alone- trusting)
    And then my private session, the last one, ended up blowing up in our faces because I spoke up and said I don’t think I’m ready to continue with the plan of involving my daughter together in future sessions. I told him I would like a few more sessions alone with him to get to know him better before I trust that this will work. This “professional” counselor in a beautifully decorated office, business Lic. Radio show to boot, got on the edge of his seat and with a red face and a pointed finger at me raised his voice and said “this is my practice and I’m in charge here!”
    “You will either trust that God put you here or you will walk out of here tonight and I am done with you! “
    This was only session number three for me of which he talked The complete 45 minutes and I only had 10 minutes left to ask my questions!
    With my jaw dropped I stood up with my PTSD fully swimming fully around in my head. Confused, I then stood up and sheepishly said I think we’re done then. This experience was so extremely confusing but my gut said, “wow, He’s acting exactly how I don’t want to act! This is largely the reason ( to overcome my own controlling behavior)
    I came here“.
    It’s scary to think that we have to protect ourselves against professional counselors!
    I withdrew my daughter and my sessions. My daughter did like him but I felt he was going to undermined my authority in an unhealthy way.
    If only this professional counselor understood that relationship is everything and his credentials are not as important. So, now , I don’t trust any therapist who wont understand the concept of earning my trust and who do not respect my boundaries in that I need ample amount of time to feel trust.
    Their titles and their office building including their popularity can not and must not blind us. We need to ask questions and feel comfortable!

  • hosiery08

    He did exactly this. I just did not know it until this video. I left the narcissist 2 weeks ago and every day feels like I am quitting some type of substance. Thank you for this video, it gives me so much validation.

  • shakti veda

    Hi Meredith! I reserve myself to eventually leave a comment when I begin to recover a little more…I like what I'm hearing from your videos so far, it seems much more honest than many, especially compared to some of the "New Age" trends…actually, my apologies, your video cannot be compared to others, you do have your own "one of a kind" style and it seems to be pretty leveled and balanced, I'm sure you already know this! Thank you 🙂

  • Tamara Young

    A lot of Narcs also train you to fill in the blanks in conversation for them even if in the beginning they’re chatty and opinionated, and especially if you are. Even if their job ie. Is to be opinionated ie an actor, writer, activist. After getting to know them, they somehow put you in the position of responsibility. That’s the scapegoat position and it can happen in families, friend groups, couples, anywhere. I stopped filling in the blanks for people in my life, and they’d be so uncomfortable. You could hear crickets.

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