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The Effects of Narcissistic Parents on their Children with Jillian Sorkin LMFT



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Today our guest Jillan Sorkin, LMFT and Dr. Judy talked about the effects of narcissistic parenting on children. The effects range from anxiety, depression, and dangerous defense mechanism such as drug use, cutting, and suicide. The biggest favor we can do for the next generation as parents is to heal ourselves. The antidote to danging our children is to self reflect and self correct and own up to our mistakes to our children.
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5 Comments

  • June Peyer

    Great show as always Dr. Judy and Ms. Sorkin!!!!
    The first caller was very courageous speaking about her childhood wounds and how they eventually impacted her son.
    People often look only to the person who commits suicide to identify cause.
    I know a few people who have their child/children in therapy and have made statements such as “I’m tired of his/her behavior.” Some of these people are very consciously aware of the family dysfunction, yet seemingly haven’t connected the dots to realize that their children’s behaviors are related to their parenting styles. I guess even if you’re aware of the whole picture, accepting responsibility can be frightening.
    I was parented by a mother who was very narcissistic and a very co dependent father. My father was mostly unseen and unheard in a household of seven kids- me being number 4 of seven. While he was the safer parent, we took our mother’s instruction and threw our father HARD under the bus.
    Today, sibling rivalry and alienation rules the family. I was typically the scapegoat and definitely the identified patient and this dynamic is deeply ingrained in my family of origin who have been unable to accept my lack of enmeshment and differentiation. I have tried to contact a few, but without success.
    I moved to Germany on a temporary assignment with my husband and it seems the move has caused a fair amount of chaos. There is definitely a sense of trying to reinstate the status quo of scapegoat/identified patient, as my sister used what I can only describe as the typical enmeshed and undifferentiated ego mass language to draw me back into a system I have left, when she tried to humiliate me on social media with very angry posts.
    This is the fallout from my parents.
    Like Greg, I decided a bunch of years ago to go with my heart and not look back. I am in the middle of grieving the siblings I thought I had. I will always keep hope that they will heal and we can talk to one another, but if that never occurs, I will have at least followed my heart to a healed place.
    My husband is of great support to me and said he too would welcome a healing conversation with my siblings, but in the absence, he would always know that I tried to have the conversation. He said this is why he loves me. You can’t ask for more than that kind of support now, can you?
    Thanks again !!!

  • Alexandria Schulz

    Ahhhhhh! I LOVE LOVE luuuRRRVVVV IT when you talk about your sweet grandchild! 💗💗💗😄🙏 Also! So many callers from Michigan o_0 (including moi, ugh) And I too lost a friend by suicide my same age whose mom I've known since I was a kid– feeling for the caller .. :'( I tune in for every video, beyond insightful and helpful- you and your center are THE BEST. So grateful for you and Dr.Tracee🙏💗🌎💝. And the ocd video, needed to hear that, rings so true -still working on really putting all you and Dr.Tracee's insight into play. Thanks a million X over and I need to fly to Cali sometime soon so I can personally thank you two AND*** have the honor of being blessed with an autograph by you on your amazing book (aka my "Bible"😹)!

  • Jackie cook

    Our union between my husband and myself is just like Gregory’ story, the PhD man that phoned in. We both had narcissistic parents. I had a narc mother and my husband has a narc dad. WoW 😮 but our story is miraculous a true miraculous story of survival and growth from profound lies to unmasking the truth. Dr Judy your channel has help us both understand both our childhood. I’d love to tell you all about our story. We have been married now for 26yrs, but our individual families still blame us and see us as, failures, blacks sheep’s, the list is endless. 😀

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