narcissist videos

Stages of Emotions You Experience After Discovering Your Spouse or Partner is a Covert Narcissist

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  • Tricky Nicky

    This really resonated with me. I think the hardest thing about realising my parents were narcissistic was letting go any hope of the situation improving. It went against everything I wanted to believe in the world, that deep down everyone cares and all situations can get better over time. Holding optimisim and realism at the same time didn't just cause cognitive dissonance, it caused emotional dissonance. Your voice is very soothing and reassuring.

  • Linda Worthington

    Yes, I am sensitive, which is one of my positive traits. He used it like an insult, but I don't buy that. The shock of realizing that the man I thought I knew was not the real person behind the mask has brought absolutely everything you are describing here.. Thank you for this validation. I am now almost 4 months NC, having left him at the end of March.. I have joined a support group of women in similar relationships, and videos like yours are sanity-savers! I am healing well. Thank you so very much for your intelligent, kind message! πŸ’•

  • Eyeswideshut

    Hi Debbie, you described me and my feelings perfectly. Fear was huge. Almost to the point of paranoia in the beginning. I'm past that now but it was bad. I put things in front of locked doors in case my narc tried to get to me. It was comical looking back now but I was terrified. And it seemed like no one understood what I was telling them about a covert narcissist and my feelings. And people important to me didn't bother to understand I thought. It is my journey and I did it.

  • Andrea Lutri

    Thank you Debbie for your videos. I hope you know deep in your heart how much you help people like me. Friends don't understand, your own children don't understand and it is hard to start a new relationship after 25 years . So we are really alone. Your videos gave us so much light, hope, and love. You are a sweet and strong woman . Gracias

  • Maya

    I have also dumped covert narc "friends" who I knew for over a decade. Angry and sad, shocked, confused, then when I look back on their behavior I feel ashamed I did not notice or acknowledge it earlier.

  • Viviane Venancio

    In the last weeks I've experienced such strong emotional and cognitive dissonance by coming to the understanding that my mother displays many covert narcissist tendencies that I was very dizzy, it's like my brain was melting! But I guess it is a good sign, it means my thinking and feeling structures are changing and opening to the reality.

    Debbie, your hair is beautiful! 😍

  • JD Connie

    Thank you for all you do to help us dealing with a covert narcissist. The anger for me was the hardest emotion. I didn’t feel I was justified for feeling it. And I felt guilty for feeling it. Your video is such a relief. Much love.

  • mreloo

    it was like going from a bad dream into nightmare…wtf..40 f in years wandering in the wilderness with my covert narsicist Jezebel wife….well that explains it….mine just about finished me off… autoimmune disease bone disease chronic pain over use of narcotics…
    thank God for my daughter who helped wake me up….crazy

  • Victoria Nichole

    Thank you for the validation. Long story, short. Raised by 2 emotionally neglectful parents (motherstepfather ). Biological father touched me in inappropriate ways when I was a teenager. Not a good start in life. Several abusive relationships and 3 rapes later I had to move back in with my mother that I now, after processing my most recent trauma by a sociopath, have come to realize after therapy and videos like this, is NPD or high on the spectrum bordering NPD. First came fear, then denial because of the fear and now anger, sometimes hatred. Sadness and depression thrown in to change it all up a bit. Throw in the mix PTSD, guilt because she is 82 and I’m 56 and HSP. It’s exhausting. Her hold on me is not only guilt but financial because I’m dependent on her which I also hate but I am working on changing that. Lord help me! Thank you for helping me be ok with this roller coaster ride of emotions. In the past I would have either suppressed them or beat myself up because of them.

  • JB Resilient

    Always Love your videos! I would add one more emotion to the process- DENIAL! Often when you first hear the label of Narcissist of any kind you think it doesn’t quite fit your situation, then you may think… they love me and they will listen to me and want to change to make our relationship work (because you are willing to look at yourself and make changes and you think everyone looks at life that way!) your brain will come up with a million reasons why your Narc is the one who really is capable of love and emotions. I know it took me years of education and therapy and reading books before I could accept that there was no hope for things to improve and NO CONTACT/divorce was the only option… then i started moving through the rest of the steps!

  • Damian Chojnowski

    Thanks a lot for your book and videos. Your give hope when I feel hopeless. After 18 years of relationship with covert narsisist ex wife, I try to manage all my life from the beginning. I went thought deep depression, anxienty and realy dark places. Now I want to belive in better future. You helped me so much.

  • Ward Shrake

    Books and videos help some of us more than they might help others, I would imagine. HSPs seem to get more out of such things, from what I've read / heard. And don't under-estimate the raw eye-opening and healing power of them, to those of us who aren't exactly keen on trusting human beings: directly and/or often. (I'm saying that because you had said, "even just these videos…" and the "even just" part sounded like you, maybe, were minimizing the help you're giving to people you've never met.) To some of us, books and videos (including comments sections) can be very powerful tools, and are go-to's when trusting people isn't easy for us.

  • Ad Astra

    I remember just how insane a situation I must have found myself in, when I was actually initially grateful to find this was a real disorder. "Oh! He has a mental illness… yay! There's HOPE!" The shock to recognise I was even thinking like that was enough to slay me =( Thank you for the video.

  • fitandfabulous

    It's the craziest roller coaster of emotions. It's crippling when you realize the truth. Realizing the cognitive dissonance brings feelings of shame. It's so hard. I'm still trying to heal… but the positive? Im and narc free!!πŸ˜€πŸ‘πŸΎ Thank you Debbie!! Love your videos πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

  • Susie Williams

    I am mostly angry at myself for having no sense of self and self esteem and allowing myself to be treated this way……not only from the covert narcissist, but family members and even longtime friends……I must warn you tho', once you do start standing up for yourself people cannot handle it because they are used to you not saying anyhing…It has cost me a few relationships and I'm okay with that…..they weren't "true" reciprocal relationships

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