BY NOW you’ll have spotted the 10-year challenge on social media. The rules are simple; you share a recent photograph of yourself alongside one from at least a decade ago. Less a challenge and more a spot of fun which appeals to the latent narcissist in us all. What’s that? I haven’t aged a day? So nice of you to say… and so forth and so on.
Sleb Safari hasn’t bothered taking part, not out of principle but necessity. Sleb Safari has been using the same photo for at least the past 10 years everywhere that a photo is required. Except for its new passport. And that photo is a shocker. It’s not vanity on Sleb Safari’s part. Or is it? Sleb Safari will have to lie down in a darkened room with a sheet mask and a scented candle and have a think about that one.
Celebrities got in on the action and while there were plenty of fun throw-back photos and many contenders for the 10-year challenge trophy (shout out to Caitlyn Jenner) there could only be one winner and that was our elusive chanteuse, our butterfly, our Mariah Carey.
Mariah won for an Instagram post which reflected her persistent resistance to acknowledging the passage of time, the methodology of which includes celebrating anniversaries rather than birthdays and insisting that she is and always will be 12.
Here’s how Mariah did it:
Mariah’s world must be a great place to live.
Do you know who else’s world must be a riot? Victoria Beckham’s.
It’s a post Spice Girls, post Posh and Becks, post Goldenballs, post having to prove yourself as a fashion designer world. Yet, it’s a world where Victoria, through choice, uses a face cream made from her own blood. That’s right, we’re witnessing the evolution and not the extinction of the vampire facial.
VB picked up her moisturiser (can we call it that?) from Dr Barbara Sturm’s clinic in Germany where a pot of it will reportedly set you back at least £1,000. No word yet on whether Dr Sturm will be running a Bogof deal.
Sleb Safari hasn’t delved into the how, why, where and when of this unnecessary foray into extreme skincare but it hopes the whole process is more hi-tech than someone standing at a kitchen table squeezing a pipette of Victoria’s blood into a cereal bowl full of Ponds face cream and stirring it with a soup spoon. If this was Sleb Safari’s gig it would market the potion as rosé face cream, “the ideal way to stay cool, moisturised and chic this summer”.
Dr Sturm, should you wish to talk business, you can reach Sleb Safari through the usual channels.
Wedding Journal Show Competition
SLEB Safari has five pairs of tickets to give away to the Wedding Journal Show in Belfast this weekend.
The show is being held at the Titanic Exhibition Centre on Saturday and Sunday February 2 and 3, between 11am and 5pm. You’ll be able to chat to more than 300 exhibitors and pick up discounts and offers as you stroll around the venue while the bridal catwalk show will take place three times daily, at 12pm, 2pm and 4pm.
And best of all you’ll also get the chance to enter a competition to win a £35,000 wedding.
To be in with the chance of winning one of five pairs of ticket to the Wedding Journal Show on the day of your choosing, answer the following question correctly:
When is the next leap year?
Email your answer to email@example.com and mark your entry ‘Sleb Safari/Wedding Journal Show’. Please include your address and phone number. The deadline is noon on Tuesday January 29.
Backstreet Boys’ Tiger Balm Tales
LOLS all round as the Backstreet Boys shared some of their antics with the world in celebration of their 50th birthdays or something similar.
In one tale Howie Dorough explained how he sought revenge on Nick Carter by smearing Tiger Balm in Nick Carter’s underwear right before the band went onstage.
“And it didn’t come into effect until he was like, about three songs, ’cause the heat started working hard,”’ Howie chortled.
For those who are unfamiliar with Tiger Balm, it’s akin to Deep Heat. Not cool Howie, not cool at all.