narcissist videos

SELF SABOTAGE 😮 and 'PERFECTIONISM" ANXIETY FEAR of NOT BEING ENOUGH



Do you live to set and complete goals? Do you fear NOT succeeding and being left behind? Are you dying to appear perfect? Do you experience anxiety due to perfectionism?

Goals are awesome but not when they are tied to our fear of not being enough.

Goals are great but not when we fail to be present and in the NOW and instead are living our lives seeking happiness outside of our selves.

We live in an increasingly narcissistic world in which success, power, and influence are encouraged. While it is healthy to set goals for ourselves when this need is tied to perfectionism, the fear of not being enough, or we use staying in the striving after a goal as a way to bypass and dissociate from our emotions, we are in dangerous waters.

If you are having a difficult time dealing with your emotions in the now and striving to complete goals is one way you use to avoid feeling, it is my hope that this video helps you better understand what might be going on.

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Children of narcissistic parents, who are now suffering from codependency symptoms, may be struggling to learn how to love themselves after narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to attract people pleasers, or codependent personalities. Because codependents are eager to please, because they seek outside validation, they are easy targets for narcissistic lovers, and friends.

It is not easy to learn how to love yourself after narcissistic abuse, but with the right codependency recovery tools, it is possible. It is even possible to find love after codependency.

Lisa A. Romano is a Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives through ascending old thought patterns and healing faulty subconscious programs. She is an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissistic abuse, and elevating consciousness.

https://www.lisaaromano.com
support.coach@lisaaromano.co

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#perfectionism #selfsabotage #progressnotperfection

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39 Comments

  • Susan

    Hi Lisa, Can't brag on you enough as I did this a.m. Spent most of afternoon reading and reviewing Codependent Now What?. I see my growth from my consistent daily practices and yes, also see daily ongoing healing which brings me much joy. These childhood messages can indeed be examined and rewritten as they should have been given, all without malice. Self-correction is willingness to continue to address head on the pain and panic as it presents and conquer with new true, loving, nurturing messaging as meant to be. I am so grateful my word search on YouTube over a month ago, led me to you. So many things to be thankful for in my life, you being one of them. My new calm and courage, lead hand in hand in manifesting much, much more happiness, pure joy and confidence in the knowing. Namaste…as I am seeing the divine in all.

  • Beryl Walubengo

    I used to go to the office from 6 am to 6pm added weight was unhappy. Now sometimes I start work sometimes at 12pm at times at 5 am I know i am worthy with or without certain goals. I am really healing thank you for great teacher. I stopped cleaning my house it was bringing anxiety I bring two people to help me stopped the guilt.

  • humorandspice

    Shared this! As a hairstylist I’m so susceptible to trying to be perfect or put out a perfect product. It’s hard to not fall into perfectionism again in certain situations. However, I’m sharing this video with my colleagues because we need to stay away from that destructive cycle. Thank you 🙏🏻

  • Gypsy Julie

    Lisa, I love the ending! I am a creative person who makes most of my income in the summer mnths. I was just sitting here making a list of how much to save weekly to pull me through the winter mnths. Instead of fretting…I am going to go take a nice walk in the woods.

  • New Beginnings

    I never thought about the "less Pain" = "pleasure". So true. It's also similar to the mindset of "Well, he did not call me a five letter word today, so that must be love." Thank you for your obvious compassion and sensitivity in all of your videos.

  • Catherine H.

    Lisa thank you so much for sharing your story about the dispute with your nursing professor. I had a very similar experience with one of my senior capstones for my accounting degree. The class entailed dealing with real clients and their businesses. I made a mistake on one of the financial equations and didn’t realize it until the day of the presentation. I admitted my error as I was presenting, and man oh man did the client grill me in front of the whole class! Luckily the teacher had my back because even she thought that the client was being obnoxious. And thank goodness with your work, it has helped me to not be traumatized by this like I was up until a year ago. You took the words right out of my mouth, I didn’t have the life skills yet at the time to recognize my codependency and learn how to deal with a narcissist.
    Much love to ya.

  • Harper Emery Fidler

    But Lisa what happens when you're a procrastinating perfectionist?? Everything has to be perfect and if it can't be I won't try. I have low self esteem though so nothing gets done. Then I try to control the people around me. It just goes in circles!! Control, procrastination, perfectionism is ruining my life. 😭

  • Lisa

    Wow!!!I’ve been following you for quite a while and you have helped me immensely and changed my life,understanding and perspective for the better.
    However you have just now turned things up a notch…this is me to a T!….I have a list every single day and if I weren’t to have a list I would feel chaotic and anxious.
    Spontaneity is not part of my day because then my list becomes chaotic….I know it’s all down to my childhood trauma.
    I will try to work on this now I understand it.
    Thankyou so much from Lisa in London 🙏❤️.You are a blessing and a gift to all of us in this community ❤️🤗🙏

  • Wilma s

    OMG that last bit scared the bejeebers out of me! LOL
    I was listening to this while doing something else. And then all of a sudden that music came on! XD
    Love your insight and help Lisa, just don't scare me like that hahahaha J/K

  • Norah Kittensocks

    I missed the premiere but i am so glad I watched this!!! This video resonated with me! I think I am a perfectionist now. I thought i was a procrastinator! I am the person that sabotages herself right before reaching the finish line! Worrying about what will happen after I "succeed", not having the life skills for dealing with tomatoes being thrown at me. I have so much fear about not being capable after I succeed – Impostor syndrome before I even succeed- I even journalled all these "what if" type fears- I have so many of them! I cried when you talked about imposter syndrome. I feel so guilty and ashamed for how I have been sabotaging myself!! I feel so disappointed in myself! I have cried so much thinking how I have failed my younger self!

    I am also the person that gets so uncomfortable doing nothing, not having a to do list! Like you said I will practice being in the moment remind myself that this moment is enough! No matter what emotion I am experiencing! Such a powerful takeaway!
    I am enough! No one has the power to define my worth!
    Fifty stars for this video!

    Also love the funny ending!! 😜😂😂

  • Jeanie Soper

    Another amazing video Lisa! Thank you so much!
    You mentioned the Imposter Syndrome… I actually just heard this term the other day on Terri Cole’s channel. She referred to the difference between what she likes to call the Imposter Effect and the Imposter Syndrome – the Syndrome referring to when it only happens when you’re about to achieve a goal, whereas she feels it’s worth the distinction to call it by another name (Imposter Effect) when this is generally the way that we go about life – I never really had a word for it… But I’ve been meaning for a loooonggg time to actually comment on one of your videos to see if you could make a video just on this. I have often felt throughout my life and even (maybe even especially) on my Healing Journey that I don’t deserve to be feeling “good enough” or maybe a better word is “righteous” enough to think that I can become an even better person… I’m sure a lot of it has to do with my upbringing as, well, let’s just say growing oneself wasn’t really a big theme, and furthermore it would probably have be ridiculed had I had the emotion vulnerability to present it as such. It’s just funny that I just listen to her video two days ago, where I heard the term for the first time (been on my Journey two years now) and I really resonated with it as it put a term to the underlying feeling which is always so validating, and now you’ve put this one out and talked about that same phenomenon. 🤔💫💫😌😌
    But again, wondering if you could do a video just on that? Just shedding more light on it for our validation and growth would be amazing! I’ve even at times nearly convinced myself that what I’m doing doesn’t really matter and is just a way for me to try to make myself feel good almost in a selfish way. Like who am I to think I’m worthy of being enlightened and to be a light worker for others. But deep down I do know that I really am a good person and want to become a better one and the more I go on, the more comfortable I am really embracing my gifts as an empath.

    Anybody else out there deal with the same? If so, how have you dealt with it personally?

    Sending you all so much love!
    -J

  • River Love

    I realized that my mom is a covert narc just weeks ago. I keep cleaning and rearranging my home. I am learning to do more for myself like my makeup and rollerblading. But I still can't really cry. Not for more than a few moments usually while driving. I have distracted myself from pain for my whole life. I quit drinking over a year ago so that distraction is gone. I'm not dating. I'm working on myself everyday. Learning. But emotions are so much harder than facts. I didn't cry much as a kid either. I'm going to run out of things to clean. Maybe I'll cry about that. I'm more afraid of opening up that box of emotions than I am of going no contact with my mother. I'm to the point that I can cry a little bit several times a day. At this rate it will take years to get it all out. Maybe I can plan a weekend of tears?

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