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Remain Calm During a Narcissistic Divorce

Remaining calm during a narcissistic divorce is a critical step required to cope with and protect yourself. A typical divorce is stressful in and of itself but couple that with an individual with a personality disorder and you increase the complexity and trauma exponentially. In this video I talk about techniques to help you recognize what you are going through and how to approach this to enable you to regain emotional control over yourself and the situation.

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  • Stone Wall Research - budcat7

    It's not easy to control your emotions at the beginning. You have to try and keep calm and rational. This is NOT EASY! But you must try your best to, this is not optional. Personally, I'm a bridge burner, so I kept low contact but staying in that mode for an extended time is not good. But at the beginning this may be beneficial. Friends and family on both sides are often the WORST sources for info because of their inherent bias either pro or con. It's like they're right up against a wall, staring at that little patch of it, they don't see the big picture because they can't take a step back. In my case, I am in a family of divorced women and women with severe marital problems. So guess who was the "bad guy" in my divorce? Hmmm? Well I couldn't count on support from family, especially from these dysfunctional personality disordered women. Almost all of the male members in my family are dead, which is curious and another discussion. Friends are often biased in favor towards you but even this is not always beneficial because they get into "kill" mode too and that isn't helpful. Maintaining some relationship with your kid(s) is of primary importance and if you completely shut down communications because your angry and friends and family are fueling that anger, you are going to screw that up. Navigating through this isn't easy and requires a certain level of finesse. Like Duane says, you must find a way to calm yourself down.

  • Outside the Box HK

    I'm definitely at the point now where I can relax and let the storm roar all around me and know that I am a good father, asking for good things for the kids, and not waging wars or proxy wars that have no basis in reality.
    It is a process though to finally arrive at this point, where I can clearly see the truth through all of the trumped up allegations and twisted truths.

  • your Majesty

    I have a question, I'm not married but I'm going through child support process in the court my last court date I present all the documents including my 3-month paycheck stub W-2 form and everything they ask. yesterday I got a call from HR told me they sent her a letter asking the HR to send three months paycheck stub and W-2 is this something they do for everybody? is it coming from the lawyers or from the court because I gave them everything I just want to know if you dealt with this before

    Thank you.

  • David LeValley

    For all those watching here is an example, in 2014 after our split the narc ex filed a bogus protection order on me, 2 months later she invited me over for the weekend having sex with me and having me cook dinner for her and the kids then on sunday called the police and had me arrested right infront of my kids, later she called my best friend telling him while crying that she never wanted me to go to jail and that she even thought about bailing me out (of course she did not) here is the thing, while in jail she literally went through all her emails from me and cherry picked them and handed them over to the prosecutor which showed my emotions going up one side and down the other, of course she didnt bother to show the prosecutor all the emails she sent me that provoked all those up and down emotions, the prosecutor at this point thought something was mentally wrong with me and flat out refused to give me a plea deal until i went and had a mental health evalution done which i had to pay over 200 dollars for. BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY AND DO AROUND THESE PEOPLE, now my evalution came back normal and the prosecutor was happy and gave me a plea deal and it was knocked down to a MM disorderly conduct which is basically nothing, but still. See how she set me up, not just on the arrest but fueled the fire even more by handing over a pile of emails she had saved and printed where she manipulated my emotions thus making me look like the crazy one. Please pay attention to what this man says in this video, as it can save you a boatload of heartache and stress and legal problems.

  • K Cham

    Damn, I wish I have viewed this video at the start. Wife and her lawyer have done everything said in the video. Nice guys (people) finish last. Case has been dragged out, now we a at the final hearing stage. The kids a grown, out of the house, we spoke on the divorce issue at length for years. They have come out of left field, throwing curve balls for know reason, just driving up the cost..

  • Nicholas Bint Bint

    very helpful after being pushed into an emotional corner yesterday. Trying to discuss kids the wife decided half way through to just up and leave . I told her not too as she didnt realise how its affecting them . Well the outcome was she didnt go but punched me in the face said call the police etc . I took it did nothing as i dont want any more hassle for the kids at this time we are due to have a weekend away and she has done everything poss to distrupt this i remain calm .. Hard work isnt it . please send any advise .


    God bless you sir. Everything you say is absolutely true. I got railroaded and she lied through the whole process.
    My being unaware of all these disorders blindsided me.
    Please keep helping everyone. The world needs you.

  • Seth Landreth

    It's sad, I went through it, you pour your heart out and it's as if they never cared, my ex wife moved in with a man before divorced paperwork was signed. Glory to God I turned to him even more, and what ever seed they soweth, they shall reapeth

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