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Realities That Narcissists Can’t Accept



One of the greatest costs of the narcissists abuse is that it prevents you from accepting certain truths and realities. The comforting insulation that the narcissist provides obscures truth and prevents you from personal growth.

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33 Comments

  • Roberta Maria Atti

    Hello, I've been listening to you for quite a while now. I have lived surrounded by narcissist. My Father, whom I love dearly, was the first, then every man I've ever been with. I have never been able to bond with anyone but narcissist. I have even written a poem about them, which is at http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewPoetry.asp?id=197277 I have asked you a question a while ago in the comments but I'm not sure you've addressed it yet. You are so young it's amazing how much knowledge and wisdom you have acquired already. I tip my hat to you for that. Of course my ex-husband was the worst of all of them, in that he made it impossible for me to Mother my children. He took his revenge on me for exposing him to his real self, beyond that facade of sainthood, by alienating the kids from me and convincing them I'm crazy. Which I am not, though one could say I have borderline issues, obviously….I'm steeped in it from birth! Anyway, my question was this: what if the narcissists in your life are the people you love most and would give your life to see healed? That is my dilemma. I love my kids more than I can say, and yet, they are 28 and 30, gorgeous, extra smart (160 IQ my Son when he was 12) and they are both, in my opinion, full blown narcissists,. Yes I still brag about them, like any Mother would do. I can't stop loving them and I keep trying to reach them, now that I don't have to run around working in order to support them. But it's too late. That's what I can't accept, even though you, and many other experts, say it's a waste of time. I get blasted every time I try of course, with repercussions on my health and wellbeing beyond what I can cope with, and yet…..didn't we say the same about addicts too? That they were beyond rescue? That they were not even human? That they did not deserve compassion because hey…they brought this onto themselves so, why bother? Put them away and forget they exist.You cannot do that with Narcissists, obviously, since they are the other side of the coin and hold themselves above you and out of reach, with a power addicts cannot afford to display. I wonder…if there was anything at all I'd have reservations on, about what you say, is that there seems to be no opening, no hope and no compassion, nothing. Just contempt. I have a hard time despising or giving up on my kids. I can't do it, though I have tried. Now you'll say something like…well, you can choose to love a scorpion all you want. That doesn't turn it into a dove. Sure thing. So….. What would you suggest? Please be merciful….I'm not looking for trouble, just some clarity. Apologies for the long post but I needed to let it out. Thank you for what you do to help us out, us defective ones (-: and I mean that! THANK YOU!

  • Essence Suggs

    What shattered the illusion I had of my narc was when I was in the car with my friend on the way to work and I was talking about the recent day I'd seen him and tears started to fall from my eyes. And for some reason they didnt stop but got worse and started to come out harder and harder till i was sobbing. And thoughts i just couldnt quite make sense of flashed in my mind. Images of him and me. Different moments different pains and joys but i still couldnt makes sense of them at the time. The only thought in my head that i could catch in that moment was "its to much". The whole time i cried and thought the only thing in my head and it kept repeating as the other images play in my mind was "its to much" over and over again. And that was the day i decided to make a change.

  • bjohnson wood

    What you describe about six minutes into this video might be well understood as “Machiavellianism.”

    At the end, I have now carefully watched two Cluster Bs die. If they’re talking about it and saying they aren’t afraid of it, it’s just the same as saying how much that coworker gets on her nerves (the one they’re sleeping with behind your back and seem to come up in conversation too often. Always remember, they lie … mostly to themselves.

    The end of this piece is brilliant. Thank you.

  • ShaQuan Hawes

    Really awesome! So true. My moments of discovering that real control is not defined in a hurtful sense. Self control and influence is necessary in maybe some healthy ways but real control is not defined by someone abusing u. It has been the most free-ing experience of my life! My mom was a full blown narc, my ex husband and my ex lover. So it's safe to say I was addicted their way of doing things until at 37, I began to be present with myself and accept I was broken, I was hurt and I had a very real desire to break thru and go higher and obtain a real peace and happiness. That was the start of discovering narcissism. 💜

  • Bonnie LaPierre

    I would say sneaky, back stabbing liars. Can’t complete denial using bullying tactics. Very angry when I started calling him an abuser. Being in business briefly with him was gross. Bossy, bully to me his business partner. Would start bregging to customers about how smart he is and how much money he is making. Beyond stupid and embarrassIng. I would start kicking him under the table and to this day I don’t think he knows why I would do that. This sounds mean but this guys kidneys are failing from deibetis. I use to care. Sounds callous but I no longer care.

  • Tracey Brook

    I’ll take whatever i can get came from the narc .. that saying still haunts me . I’ll never forget how true he made that statement when we first met and then he discarded me and ghosted me .then was doing shady stuff behind my back with other females .. he never socialises makes unless there is something in it for him . Also as you mentioned about death… he’s always fearing he’s going to die or lose his son as if he’s very codependent on his son. And doesn’t allow him to do anything but play on computer games locked in his room . It’s like he’s not wanting him to grow as a person and socialise in the real world. But classes himself as a good father because he buys him computer games take outs every day and buys clothes for him . Not thinking materialistic things do not make him a good dad. He does everything backwards . Days one thing but does another . Sneaks behind my back and I know when he’s been doing it he laughs with a sly smile . Really sickening to the stomach . I’m so glad we have help out there to understand these people . Seems like narcissism is growing and growing . As a light worker I ain’t putting up with his crap anymore. . Pushed me way too far . New supply is probably already on stand by as always. Then when he realises he can’t push others the same way he comes back . Not realising each and every time I have become stronger.its just chaos .. and nothing but .

  • Starlight

    My spiritually corrupt mother joined a group called Soka Gakkai international USA just to get a constant source of narcissistic supply

    This group here attracts people who are down trodden and are honestly seeking to turn their lives around

    Unfortunate
    There will be no positive life changing events happening as long as my mother has positioned herself as leader in this group

    I figure ok

    maybe she will leave her children alone

    since she has the excitement of fresh new Narc supply

    I am so utterly shocked that no one has picked up on her shit after an hour

    Anyway concerning no one escaping death

    My 73 yr old spiritual corrupt fake Buddhist mom cheated death 3 times

    Thyroid Cancer

    ( I took a deep breath of relief thinking the old girl is finally leaving this earth)

    nope I was wrong

    Survived it

    Ok

    leukemia = blood cancer

    Saw movies where blood cancer killed people
    ( thought ok now she’s out of here yippie )

    Nope I was wrong again

    Survived it

    My schizophrenic brother beat my narcissistic mother with an axe which busted her skull wide open while she was driving him somewhere in a car

    She’s still up apparently I have to be re-educated on narcs and their fear of death or ability to beat it

    Of course I think there is some serious lying going on but I can’t find where

    Cuz i took her to the docz who said she’s got blood cancer

    My brother is dangerous

    Authorities just threw him in a mental institution rather than jail for attempted murder like any of that would reform him or treat him for a mental disorder

    He just did his time and he’s back on the streets

    but this time he’s threatening everyone even me

    Surely to be axed kills people I saw it in the movies

    Some how she was stealing his social security money so he tried to kill her

    or he thought she was because she bullies him

    She violates personal space when she bullies me but I tell her

    Back up gran maw ( that’s her southern vernacular see understands and I’m trying to convey it in writing here )

    Oh and she and my dad burned the house down for insurance money

    Too long of a story to tell here but my mom blames it on my schizophrenic brother

    As a result of all these events

    I do not believe in God the idol

    nor do I believe in god the Supreme being

    I do believe however

    in strategic planning by

    religious

    economic

    educational

    and medical institutions

    to manage people in society by guiding and influencing

    Negative behavior in order to control and or obliterate whole civilizations

    Ultimate goal to build a new world order by destroying the old one

    epistemic autocracy i e scientific dictatorship ( ref collins brothers )

    See 2045 initiative
    A New era for humanity
    2045.com

    Look at Toyota t hr3 humanoid robot

    https://youtu.be/jJYsOsoBIZU

    So these narcs are a great reason for institutions to seriously think of eliminating this human disease that slows progress in my opinion

    In the mean time we have to suffer old diseased sick and needy Narc parents and to struggle with our conscience of taking care of them

    I am in prison

  • Starlight

    You are right scott I married a Narc cuz that is all I know and I was so very lonely

    I never knew that a husband forcing a wife into sex was rape

    I really never thought of that at all

    Why I didn’t call the cops I just can’t figure it out

    But I grew up in violence and mentally ill people

  • cryptocoinscafe

    Did everyone read Elliot Rodgers comment? It simply states, "I'm Gay". If there's one thing I love about all the Narc videos on YouTube is that it truly is allowing sick Empaths to heal and see Trolls like this Elliot Rodger guy. What's his purpose? Total Narc. Let's herd them in like cattle, and pray for them and realize their trauma so we don't hold grudges…….AMEN.

  • paulo c

    You are obviously very articulate and smart. You know, English is not my native language, but I think you speak like a college educated person would do. I have to consult the dictionary to fully understand what you are saying and I do not have to do this with most youtubers. Did not you go to college? This surprises me.

  • Joan Frances

    Love your way of naturally swimming through your narratives. You have an excellent way of making the entire emotional environment play like a movie we can see and better understand. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!

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