narcissist videos

Protecting Yourself From Narcissists

In this episode, The Little Shaman discusses how to protect yourself from narcissists.

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  • just me

    My dad was a bantering person. I would ask him all the time why he said cruel things to me when I dislike it so much. and don't see myself that way at all? I would leave reminding him thats not me and I don't appreciate it. After a few times of that he finally quit after a couple of reminders.
    Didn't stop him and my girlfriend though. He would say to her right im the door "I see you have quite a drag behind you these days." She would shoot right back at him "you're going to need a wheelbarrow to push your own around in by next week." I would just say "I hate this shit." and walk out to do my work and leave them to their insults.
    At least they did leave me out of it occasionally bantering me about being too sensative. I would speak up and tell them I don't think so. I simply don't have the need to put anyone down to feel good, and I don't deserve to be put down. They finally quit altogether.
    Education helped in that circumstance. There have been plenty of others though that not a word I said mattered. Thats when I know for sure I am dealing with an abusive person and need to stop engaging at all levels.

  • Kevin Davis

    The key to the example you gave about the co-worker is "I won't do that again". You gave them an option, they told you what they will do about it. It is up to them to do what they say. If they don't, they are answered the question for you. Great video LS!

  • M. F. Richardson

    I needed to listen to this particular podcast three times. The shifting of my thoughts, is very slow. They are shifting, out of HELL, into the LIGHT. I wish I could convey my thoughts to you, I don't know how. Now when I weep, its a relief weeping,
    a grateful weeping, a peaceful weeping and a release weeping.
    Thank You💝

  • lainy nicks

    I was always to scared to speak up because i knew when i did he would flip out or something awful would be the result but the only thing you can really do is have nothing to do with toxic people they suck your soul out

  • Mia Monique

    Narcissistic abuse for me has been like an addiction to a horrible drug. I went “clean” for 1 year , but didn’t completely go no contact. Went back and let me tell you it was worse When you walk away and go back the final condition of the person is worse, it’s like that spirit became more and more toxic! Meaner angrier the triangulation got worse, the “Flying Monkeys “ were in place and groomed to believe the false persona. Defeating this has been the hardest hardest thing I have ever had to do. And I really know that happiness is out there I’ve seen it. I pray for all who Are affected by this abuse it is the worst pain.

  • Demetria Gaines

    Shaman I Learn So Much
    From Your Videos The Worst Thing I Did Was Not Setting Boundaries With The Narcissists..This Person Abused Me Belittled Me.At First I Thought That Being DisCarded Was Horrible I'm Glad That I Was DisCarded.I Don't Care What You Do To Try And Help A Narcissists.Its A Waste Of Time They Absolutely Have No Respect For Any1…

  • Jihye K

    very deep and insightful…needing some reflective moments as to why I have so little boundaries. I hate being where I am. I do have a question though, although everything you say is true and I should start taking responsibilities in respecting myself, I find myself still lingering in the memories of him because of sex. It's devastating that he has a new partner and claiming his undying love for her and being super sexual on social media but the thought of them having sex is making me feel so low (isn't that ridiculous?). Are there any thoughts or any new podcasts you can make on sex and how to re-program that part of the brain?

  • R Mcnary

    You know it’s funny when you said the thing about when you first go out on a date -the red flags-when my ex Narcissist mask started to drop (about two months into the relationship) I blew it off just thinking oh he’s having a bad day ,he didn’t mean it -whatever and now looking back on it I really see he was starting to show himself but I made excuses. And then he kept pushing the boundaries more and more and more. I became so wrapped up in the love bombing that it was very hard to see when things were starting to go bad and i made excuses. It’s definitely not my fault since I was basically brainwashed by him but looking back i can really see i should’ve trusted myself to start with. Hard lesson to learn

  • Private Private

    I feel very sorry for people who come from a place inside where they are people pleasers, have what Oprah called The Disease to Please, worry about making others dissatisfied or angry with them.

    I was that way more when I was a child but, I know that very many people carry that through their adulthood and can’t get past it. It is likely a hallmark of being empathetic many times, I guess. It is part and parcel of many love relationships and quite often part of holding onto a job though. But, for some, it’s more and act than a feeling, meaning that they must act beneath their superiors but, they may not necessarily feel that way. They can make the separation.

    It’s also one of the reasons why I don’t quite know whether I’m empathic. While I might be considered the empathic one in my narcissistic family dynamic, although it’s only been a year since I realized and began learning about narcissism in my family, so far, I haven’t been one to continuously run into the burning building of narcissism to keep rescuing my mother, who’d like to set me on fire, as well. And I love her quite dearly. But, I guess there’s a difference between love and dependence. Once I realized what she was or was becoming, that I couldn’t change it for her, I knew I had to leave her alone. Have I made a complete separation? Not quite. Although she’s allowed to call me on my cell phone and not at work, her “memory loss” hasn’t gotten much in the way of knowing that I don’t want to be bothered as, we haven’t spoken directly since just before Christmas. I don’t leave the door open for her to call me because I think she will change either. I leave the door open because my future always seems to be uncertain, in a world of people who can’t figure out why I left and who think I’m an idiot to do so, when my mother is merely a cranky, old woman, right? I also do so because, although they tend to worsen with age, she isn’t the worst narcissist. But, I keep my foot on the throttle and some quivers with my arrow, should things get out of control again.

    Bottom line though, is that I don’t suffer from thinking that her life is more important than mine and that I need to be obedient to someone who would abuse me. Perhaps, people need to picture and internalize their own importance and self worth to do that. I’m not sure.

  • Janice G

    Wow! I learn from you every single video. I had a friend that did something that hurt my feelings, she never acknowledged that she hurt my feelings and i walked away. I feel bad, guilty, about it sometimes because i think of the times she was a friend to me. That's the hard part. There is history with some good memories but when something hurts you, you begin to realize all the other hurts. Then you realize there was a lot you tolerated for a long time. Thank you, as always.

  • AbsoluteMdot

    I feel like Narcs are everywhere!! I am still in shock that I had to deal with a ''friend'' who is a narcissist. I never would of thought it would of happened to me. So glad I got away from her. She was not a true friend.

  • aminini

    If childrens are narcissistic in nature, what is their narcissistic supply? And how does that supply successfully meet and fulfill their need.

    I guess it's unconditional love from an authority figure. If it is, is unconditional love the only thing that can cure/outgrow narcissism? Because parents experience "abuse" in some way when their child disregard their needs, because the child doesn't know any better. But they love the child no matter what and stick by their side. It's something narcissist seem to seek in their adult relationship.

    Also, Do you really believe a mature narcissistic brain cannot be changed? Sometimes I feel like this belief comes from a place of concern for the victims because if narcissism was curable it would be extremely difficult to convince victims to stop engaging with their abuser. Thanks for your video they are very entertaining for me, but surely helpful to others!

  • Leslie B

    Standout quote: "You've just been conditioned to believe…it's okay for things not to be okay for you as long as they're okay for other people. This is not the truth. Your feelings, needs, truths, and boundaries are just as important as everybody else's feelings, needs, truths, and boundaries."

  • Pegasus 514

    You must have boundaries to keep narcissists out. if you were raised in a narcissistic home your boundaries are very weak because a narcissist can't stand the word "NO!". Narcissist always go after people-pleasers because they are easier to manipulate and chances are they have been narcissistically abused before.

  • Garnet

    How do I set boundaries with customers at work. I’m a cashier, and sometimes customers get really passive aggressive and say rude things. They try to tell you how to do what you need to do and the just say really nasty and unsettling things. How do I handle situations like those

  • Misty Vegas

    I use to let hurtful comments slide. Big mistake. I don't do that anymore. I nip it in the bud now. Toxic ppl take advantage of our easy going nature. And before you know it, they're completely disrespecting you. The reality is that we have to be on guard to protect our boundaries.

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