narcissist videos

Preparing Your Mind For A Break up With A Narcissist



Before you physically remove yourself from a narcissist, it’s good to know that your decision is being guided by strong reasoning. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter offers seven insights that need to be in place as you are emotionally and physically unhooking from the narcissist.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 39 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars.

Books by Dr. Carter: https://store.bookbaby.com/book/When-Pleasing-You-Is-Killing-Me

Laura Charanza’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Ugly-Love-Survivors-Story-Narcissistic/dp/1543933874/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3/145-0784279-7124360?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1543933874&pd_rd_r=e65d4f6e-99a1-11e9-8ddc-275736155c4a&pd_rd_w=kbTcf&pd_rd_wg=JQuri&pf_rd_p=a2006322-0bc0-4db9-a08e-d168c18ce6f0&pf_rd_r=AGY5R5F5C41A2ZS9AJ28&psc=1&refRID=AGY5R5F5C41A2ZS9AJ28

While Dr. Carter does not conduct online counseling, he has vetted a group who can assist: https://betterhelp.com/survivingnarcissism

Dr. Carter’s online workshops on narcissism, anger management, and overcoming infidelity: http://drlescarter.com/video-workshops/

Dr. Carter’s other YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/drlescarter

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32 Comments

  • pukasmom

    I hate labels but my boyfriend has everyone of the criteria for NPD. That means there's no hope for him to learn from his bad behavior, right? I didn't understand why he was hurting me the way he did. I thought it was because he has a substance abuse problem. It seems to be more than THAT though. He seemed to get better when he was clean but weren't back to using again and it all started again. So I'm trying to dis connect from him. I tried so hard for so long to make it work and to make him happy. I feel stupid for letting myself get used that way for so long. I did learn slot about myself though from this relationship. You're right what you are saying. I relate to what you are saying. He used to project his bad traits on to me accusing me if cheating and lying when he knows I don't do that. Then I realize I was projecting my good traits onto him, that's why I couldn't see him as bad and always made excuses for why he was beating me and calling me names. I still saw him as Good as I realized he was acting out of pain. If I can redirect all the energy I spent on him towards myself I will be able to become an awesome person! That's what I'm t trying to do now! Thankyou for making your videos…

  • managra

    What plagues me is why i can't leave… How could I possibly be afraid of being without the frustration and misery this relationship brings? Why is it seemingly impossible to leave? Why can't i just be Gus happy?

  • A.C Artist

    twice I tried to cut my friend out who my family have grown warm to since 2010 or 2011 and they have put me off wanting to distance myself from him by telling me how kind, generous, thoughtful and caring he is and how I am lucky to have him and there were times with my Mother said I was just using him for lifts, abusing him, taking advantage of him, taking for granted and that I should be appreciative and grateful for him. I don't care really about talking about illnesses or how bad certain people are or how good other people are like himself, arguing about certain facts or ways of viewing life, complaining about what he doesn't like about certain people and asking me to keep what he says about them to myself and regularly watching movies or programs and feeling his strong sarcasm, mocking speaking meanly of those in happy jolly moods and feeling his strong cynicism and anxiety and depression him feeling obliged to put up with certain company or behaviours by saying they are sick or they have done other stuff for him. Mum has given him a key to the her house to stop by whenever he feels like it. When I did cut him out he responded with 'why did you break your friendship with me, I have nothing wrong with you I was happy with the friendship and you ended our friendship and I didn't even do anything wrong, I don't understand what I have done wrong, you wonder why you don't have any friends, you don't have any friends because you ended your friendship with me you used me you took advantage of me used me for spins and food..you bitch'.

    How can I respond to that. Many times he complains about me having a communication problem saying I in general have a communication problem, but i only have this problems with extreme cynical, extremely depressed and controlling people but am fine with the rest and am fine also in the public in general.

    I am unfortunately noticing how this runs in my entire family unit except my deceased father and his deceased mother and to a small extent my uncle. I know that this sounds shocking and this makes things more devastating for me. How can so many of them have major controlling and gossiping about others in a very negative way and communicating in a very negative way and having major anxiety problems, also be possible…???

    He loves to criticise me and others and he mainly gives me advice on stuff I know and he cannot handle criticism from others specifically me, which why it has been and is so hard for me to separate myself from me. He said he loves my warm gentle, generous fun positive and jolly energy and how I speak my mind and am open-minded and am very down to earth. Now I know that loads of people make the same comments about me so he is not the only one who feels this towards me and about me and I am only realising recently that although I may be good for great for him and his life, he is not good or healthy for mine and for so long I believed that only him or only people similar to him would want to spend time with or be with people like me. Then I discovered that several different types of people want to be with me and love being in my company and also love my warmth and down to earth nature and my kindness and fun nature and i am thinking 'this is funny those are the same things my friend says who says I make himself and his life and the world less miserable and that his day is better or night is better whenever I am around. But he says he loves me of fancies me but is fine with being friends.

  • Gail Wood

    This posting was also perfect timing for me. I have experienced a few narcissitic relationships in my life, and the family ones were very hard to deal with, but eventually, the courage came to deal with them in many of the ways you have mentioned. Now however, I have a narcissistic boss and that journey I have made with you as your videos have stepped me through that land mine! I found that even though it has been hard, it has been a real growth experience because your videos have enabled me to find interesting and educational the hard things about this situation. Your videos helped me to eventually say yep, it is time and 'opt out'. This made a world of difference! Now I am applying for a new position and was strangely feeling fear about it. Tonight I saw this video and it really made me think, 'this is definitely the exit talk for me now', it gave me the courage to try for that new position elsewhere.

  • JC is the way.

    Les i listened to this video and i have to tell you im very disappointed with the advise you give people. See, im married to a woman who was raised by abusive partners that were narcissist and now to a certain extent my wife struggles with narcissism too. The advise you give people is very damaging. You teach people to give up on people they love when maybe they need to just work harder at their relationships or marriage. People Remember.. Love doesn't fail, love is patient and kind. People keep working at your relationships and marriages and dont give up! They will get better. Have faith.

  • Christy Jones

    They have very high needs. Def. what I'm dealing with now. I thought it was just my mil, however I've realized my husband has some very narc tendencies. I'm not sure if he's a narcissist or if he just has some of his mothers behaviors. He wasn't like this when we met.

  • Denice Souza

    I love your message. I feel so empowered. Restored and confident. I am on the path to leaving my narc and moving past bitterness. Visualizing a state of mind where I am healing thriving and able to hive and receive love freely. I am looking forward to getting unstuck. You helped me say "I can, I will". Without any doubt. I need to go about my business, get my ducks in a row and swim into my true being. The higher vibration I'm meant to be . I am sure this experience is necessary. I am thankful. I needed this life lesson.
    Bless your heart..you helped guide me…💖🦋💃
    Much love,
    Denice
    San Francisco Bay Area

  • jade blues

    I’ve gone no contact these family members, what I am worried about is this what do I do when I see them on the street? Given the fact that I’m disabled and my options are limited. If anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.

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