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NPD and/or BPD Parent Dies Grief or Relief – My Experience



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I tell a bit of my story of how I had gone no contact from my Borderline/Narcissist parents 7 years prior to my father dying and what was happening in my life and how I was doing and how it felt when I found out that my borderline/narcissist/sociopath father had died. Whether you, as an adult child of a Cluster B personality disordered parent will feel grief or relief depends upon whether or not you’ve done your work, sought and worked through your healing. I had done that and I had gone no contact for the last almost 7 years of my life. Then I don’t find out he had died until 8 months after he actually died. The point of this video and what I share is to help you to know you can heal and recover from the Narcissistic Sadistic (in my case) abuse of a Cluster B parent so that when they die, well, it’s not the first death really. The first death my father died to me was really when he abused me in every way possible as a child, a teen, and a young adult. When we have done the work and let it go we can feel such relief when they die, even if a bit sad. I found it sad, a bit sad, is all I could truly muster. If you don’t do the work, though, they can haunt and hurt you from beyond because you are allowing them to.

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10 Comments

  • Realladi 228

    I was numb..felt humiliated and betrayed again…til this day my NM is not ever a thought at least not on any emotional level…she had some good qualities which are the only thing I ever think about on occasion, I imagine if she still were alive it would not be a good thing…she was as covert as a Narc could be which fooled a lot of people all except me.

  • Realladi 228

    I have found since I've been awakened to the truth about my family of origin, I now feel sad for my NM…it has made me wonder what happened to her to create this disorder in her own life which affected me and my siblings tremendously….. Very sad know matter how it began…I do HATE how Narcissism has continued to find its way through the next generations of my family.
    #anotherwholestory

  • Lucia Mixon

    Glad I found you. My current situation is that I accept parent is not all there and Not going to change. I had to find a way to cope finally. Parent is in poor health so death is not far off it seems….although sometimes I think I am going first…She has no one and I don't understand how she has made this long except that it took me this long to get it. She is not God. She is to be pitied. I now am able to enjoy life because I know it is not me it's her.

  • Evening Ransom

    I look forward to my parents dying because I know they will be totally different and I expect to hear from them and the energy of knowing that there are people in this world wishing me harm. That toxic vibration was off the planet and they were also better with much higher vibration. I believe he is sorry and looking in on you and far more loving than he could in life. I relate to this as I never heard I love you and was brutally abused. I have thought about how great it will be when they die and are out of their misery . That will be when our family can heal. 💕

  • Mermaid Spirit

    My mom is 85, I’m 51 and am still working on healing amidst her continuous toxic abuse. She lives with me. I am her only child. I don’t know if healing is possible in this environment but I’m working on it regardless. Just waiting patiently to ha e that freedom feeling as you mentioned. Still feeling mixed emotions on what the future will bring. Thank you for sharing your story. I love your vids❣️

  • Carson Stout

    When my mother was dying a few weeks ago.. She accidentally texted me(on purpose) that she loved me and I was doing SO much and happy birthday.. Except it was her golden child's birthday. All I ever wanted to hear was I LOVE YOU. I messaged her back and said wrong daughter mom. But thanks for accidentally saying you love me. No response. She died 2 wks later NEVER asking for my brother and I.. in the arms of her 2 golden children. Then one last gift(that keeps on giving if you let it).. HER WILL.. 5% of a half million dollar estate. But my worth isn't in HER. I'm sure that was to stick it to me. To ensure I'm miserable in her death(for all the wrong reasons) but I have been a survivor since she kicked me out at 16..setting me up for disaster. Not realizing that there's no better motivator than a scapegoat child being told you are nothing and will NEVER amt to anything. I now run a successful small business.. been married ONE time(unlike her 3 husbands) and have 3 kids.

  • Narc Matter

    Narcissistic dad died in April and it's been hell ever since. I have literally had to block an entire small town in the South which I'm related to 1/3 of them. I am not happy. I can't let it go. It is destroying my joy. I am drinking drugging fighting crying. I am a mess. He's controling me from the grave and I am allowing it. I feel pathetic.

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