narcissist videos

Narcissistic victim syndrome talk by christine louis de canonville



Christine Louis de Canonville a therapist who specialises in Narcissism and the effect it has on people who come into contact with narcissists. Here Christine gives a talk to a group of therapists from the IACP on Narcissistic Victim Syndrome.

Visit her website http://narcissisticbehavior.net/ for information and articles on narcissism and it’s devastating effects.

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39 Comments

  • le th

    What a helpful, succinct, general overview of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. This is a great starter video for therapists who are long overdue in recognizing what Narcissists, Borderlines, Histrionics, Antisocials, and the various comorbid combinations of those disorders, can and will do to those around them.

    The salient point is to understand that these perpetrators are everywhere, not just in the home. I predict that the term Domestic Violence will soon be gone from our vocabulary, as the general public becomes more informed, and instead with be replaced with conversations about Narcissistic Abusers.

    Narcissistic abusers are a social problem. They are the greatest threat to law enforcement, the general public, our children (who are sitting ducks in classrooms for these spree shooters), harm to animals, the global economy, and terrorism. These Narcissistic Abusers are a threat to the very fabric of every society, every culture, every home and every individual on this planet. This is a global pandemic. They are a potential threat to everyone, even themselves.

    Narcissistic Abusers are the root cause of almost every social problem we have across the globe today and what has already transpired in our history. The sooner the general public is aware of this, the sooner we can disempower these destructive, highly toxic individuals.

  • Sharon Anderson

    Christine's important synthesis of two fields of research is exemplary, timely, and much needed for both therapists and victims. Significantly, her analysis clearly coalesces both the research base from the field of criminology, plus from the field of psychotherapy.

    Psychotherapists' working with patients may focus on the impact of abuse in the workplace/personal situations. Here, many patients may have formed a connection/attachment only to discover eventually the confusing cruelty of the toxic manipulation/abuse which has been inflicted during the course of the relationship.

    Christine overlays with this psychotherapeutic knowledge, a clear outline of the characteristics of the Narcissist and the various methods he/she employs to inflict this toxic damage on others. Thus a clearer understanding of psychological warfare endured by the patient and the related symptoms

    Her website, interviews and book are a goldmine.

  • Michelle Mallon

    Outstanding presentation! I am so grateful for all of the important advocacy work that Christine Louis de Canonville is doing to help mental health professionals everywhere understand the very real effects of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. My favorite part of this presentation was Christine's response to the question asked by an attendee regarding what the most important thing survivors of this type of abuse need from mental health professionals. She didn't even skip a beat and said "validation". Thank you for all of the important work you are doing! -Michelle Mallon, MSW, LSW

  • Liberty & Victory For Evil Narcissism Survivors

    I was born in a psychopathic community and I got out. yes I have experienced the same stuff. I realized that narcopaths are all connected to a main panel control which we can not see or sense that controls them to inflict the most pain possible in a synchronistic way. think of your life and I am sure you will find clues that supports my theory. I finally view them as robots that work for another system which we are not aware of !!!!! this life looks to me like the Truman show movie. They are very smart and they role the world, so I could not buy that they have brain damage. I had to learn about them from a different prospective. please watch these two vids and tell me what you think.



  • xrisku

    YOU ARE SO SPOT ON – I WAS SITTING HERE SCREAMING – THE KEY IS VALIDATION. I almost wept when you said that. The true sign that YOU understand.

    I was unvalidated through 2 decades of being married to what appears to be a psychopath. Finally, I got validation; by my own research at first, and with that, my wings which had been clipped, broken and twisted, began to re-grow. I am preparing to soar again.

    As for CPTSD, I have had to argue with my therapist about this. She refuses to see I am CPTSD. So I have started to find resources by myself. I have found EFT tapping to be immensely helpful.

    Please keep getting the word out there. There is nothing worse than being gas lighted for 20 years by a psychopath and then still getting gas lighted when you reach out for professional help. I now know precisely what happened to me, from the birth till today. My therapist has had to learn how horrific this is through me, not the other way around.

    I think a re-fresher course in NPD, ASPD and Narcissist Victim Survivor Syndrome should be mandatory continuing education for ALL mental health practitioners. We are seeing more and more in our daily lives – take the global economic meltdown or Martin Shkreli or Donald Trump as examples of the snake in a suit malignant narc or psychopath in our midst. These people do immense damage – and if what they do in public is bad, trust me, what they do to their own family members and their staff in private is 1 billion times worse.

    Their numbers are rising and they are ruining the loving and nurturing people on this planet. I doubt I will ever get involved in another intimate relationship again. I cannot even stand to be touched by another person – I am like a headshy horse who has been beaten or a dog which snarls because it was kicked one time too many. I do not trust the entire human race – and I am unsure that I have enough years left in my life to find that trust. My entire life is built on a foundation of malignant narcs and pscyhopaths. I do not know what is normal. I find the only way to avoid getting mired is to avoid more than hi/bye/have a great weekend/good holiday social interactions. That's sad, but that is where I am at now after all this psychological torture.

    The first six months of 2015 was spent with my husband telling me that I was SO worthless that if I had any respect or shame, I'd kill myself because all i was doing was creating greenhouse gasses. I think it should be a crime when a domestic partner or family member tries to shame you into committing suicide. It's disgusting. If it weren't for the fact that I'd already figured out he was a psychopath and was working on an exit plan, I very well may have done it – who knows? He is furious he has to share half the marital assets with me and if I killed myself, that would solve that problem nicely, wouldn't it? I'd never give him that satisfaction.

    So Imagine the daily mental torment of the person you married telling you you are so worthless the BEST thing you can do for yourself and the world is to kill yourself? 2015 wasn't a very good year. But 2016 is much better because I am finally divorcing him, which is NO BED OF ROSES. But at least he doesn't come into my bedroom in the middle of the night when he THINKS I am asleep and just stand there looking at me, creeping me out. He is capable of explosive rage. I did not sleep for nearly all of 2015, until finally I got out. That is also part of what they do, sleep deprivation is a powerful brain washing tool.

  • susanshelit

    I am missing one (I think) vital clue to the Grandiosity trait. Clynical narcisicm is often co-morbid with óther personality disorders such as (e.g.) Munchausen-Byproxy. This means that the Grandiose personality trait can be reflected in a sense of over overwhelming Victim State. Once confronted by their misdeeds and with no way out a 'victim' narcissist will then revert to the Woe Me state where he/she exxagerates its victim state and accuses their victim of being the perpetrator. This álso leaves the réal victim in a vaccuum since friends/family will choose the narcissitc 'victim' over family and friendly ties since the NPD knóws how to play the real victims family and friends and the real victim does not.

  • Strawberry 1

    . Listening to Christine today and reading her work, has opened my eyes with the force of a bomb going off, as to the cause of the appalling pain I have been going through the last two years. I hesitate hugely to denote a much loved sibling as a narcissist but I have to accept the reality that everything I have read by Christine sums up what I have been dealing with, and the huge grief and fog confusion that I have been living with daily as I try to deal with crazymaking projection and emotional abuse. I am particularly interested in seeing my own part and in knowing how to protect myself and how to heal. There is so much now on the internet about narcissism but a lot of it cathartic anecdotes of abuse. I am much more interested now in learning how to detach from endless rumination and obsession. How to heal, protect myself and how to deal with such people.

  • Realladi 228

    This epidemic has become genetically passed down to both my adult kids…my mother was a narcissist…my daughters father was npd/bpd…my gc sibling is npd…my kids were not neglected or abused or over priveledged but I'm living this nightmare all over again with my 33 year old son and 31 year old daughter… I'm concerned about the future of my 3 grandsons 9,6,2..both my kids use them to emotionally abuse me…Im no contact at present healing from being a empath with codependent tendencies… I want healthy relationships no more attracting toxicity in my life..I feel helpless to protect my family.

    Thank you for your video!

  • Robert Harvey

    Christine, a great talk….a great starting point. So much more needs to be said, especially about projection , projective identification, pathological lying, cheating, the construction of their illusion, the relentless abuse. In terms of the NAVS, gas lighting is central, sleep problems, health problems, somatic pain…etc etc. Therapy for a N is just training them to abuse better….
    One of the main reasons therapists are unable to help is that they are often good , kind people who have a hard time understanding that N behavior is a chosen and conscious way of getting what they want in life, and that abuse is their form of art.
    CPTSD is similar to shell shock….victims of war have similar syndromes. Rebuilding the sense of self of a victim after abuse is a long process and understanding and knowledge is key as a starting point. ….no contact, grey rock…. is the only defense.

  • Jeanne 54

    Excellent! Thank you SO, SO much for your tremendously helpful work! I'm the daughter of a NM and gave 3 N sisters 1 N brother with various additional components-including factitious issues. (that I see). I was the scapegoat "royale". Full blown addiction issues by age 12 so I was blamed for being "less than" constantly-for my entire life. I was ALWAYS told it was me who was the problems do I-really took that on. Thanks for all you've done for my sanity. I got a tremendous amount of knowledge from you that has given me new life. You're the best.

  • Mira DeShazer

    This is a great starting point and informative for people who need to learn about NPD traits. I have to admit, I expected to hear more about the Narcissistic victim syndrome and what the characteristics and hardships of the victims of narcissism are. This is possibly, a misleading title. I appreciate you sharing this talk though. All the best with your books.

  • Corby O'Connor

    I was married 33 years to Mr. Wonderful. He never had any grandiosity, never raged, he was shy and an introvert. He never wanted to be the center of attention. He was deadly. Narcissism doesn't always include grandiosity and rage and boasting. The defining characteristics are lack of empathy, manipulation and dishonesty. My children didn't even know. He was diabolically stealth

  • Steve

    Christine Thanks for the much needed talk on this topic. Trying to find oneself after severe narcissistic abuse by both parents and older siblings is very difficult because being in touch with a genuine part of myself in the presence of another can seem impossible. But so many of the therapists try to project themselves into your space without understanding the difficulty a survivor is experiencing… I had a therapist too close in my space while showing me the push away exercize. So called expert could not understand that a person in recovery has certain needs in order to be able to even start to access this genuine part of themselves…..Also it takes specific kind of understanding of the narc victim and then specific validation….anything short of that feels again like abuse.

  • Steve

    Narcissism can only exist in a place where a person has learned to devalue themselves.
    Narcissism is a symptom……VALUING of ourselves and others is the invisible component….and we don't teach it, we don't test for it and we don't demand it….And because we are so unfamiliar with the nuance of what valuing looks like, we can't even recognize a predator in our midst…how awful!

  • Lauren Todd

    Accused of being a narcissist I've been accused of being a narcissist. I really don't think that I am one. Giving to people in great need when you yourself are in need don't have a lot of extra money. Counseling people when it easier just to pass them on. Don't believe I'm a narcissist.

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