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Narcissistic Relationships: A Breakdown is NOT a Breakthrough *NEW*



In this episode, The Little Shaman discusses the difference between a breakdown and a breakthrough in narcissistic relationships.

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21 Comments

  • Axess2084

    Narcissists. Being fake and being liars for a lifetime. True narcissists (not just someone with the tendencies) are comfortable and content in their narcissism. It suits them and gets them what they want. And what THEY want is THE most important thing in their life of deception.

  • Edward Berry

    As usual, I keep looking around for the cameras to know how these timely messages come from you. I know you know that this one I needed to hear today. I think your right sometimes the person is not even changing they are just finding a new way to get your hopes up. There will never be a real change just another manipulation.

  • Gemini Sun

    Yeah they will never have a breakthrough. My narc friend who I had to avoid for a while was apologizing so much for what he did even though he started the conversation with me as he didn’t know what he did wrong recently when I saw him again. Then upon leaving he said those three little words……I love you. Lol. He’s just a friend, but I said to myself well isn’t that just typical. They will never change, they only say what they think you want to hear.

  • Peter Rule

    This is one of your videos that I don’t find very compelling. Wouldn’t anyone behave and feel that way if their marriage is ending and they didn’t want it to? How is this person’s behavior and feeling different and someone going through a narcissistic discard? I took full responsibility for all of the problems and relationship initially because that’s the only way, the only possible way, it could’ve been fixed. With this woman, no “epiphany” had ever occurred and I don’t suspect one ever will. She was far too proud to take the blame for anything, even though she was having an affair.

  • Hunt Simple

    This reinforced the main principle of narc recovery. Acceptance. Acceptance they will not change, they are not capable of change. LS videos are among the best out there, I can guarantee she is recovering from a narc abuse relationship because nobody can understand this like she does without having been at ground zero. Thank you!

  • Inika P

    Yes! This is 100% spot on. When I told the narc I needed a break and I left. He all the sudden seemed to understand and admit his faults. Told me he would go get counseling, go to church, change completely… etc… whatever he could think of to say that might make me take him back. And it worked. I quickly learned after about 2 weeks it was all just a lie to get me back. It went back to the way it was and actually got even worse. They don’t change. Period.

  • Janice G

    I needed this video 4 years ago. The only honest thing he ever said to me was that he was hanging on by a thread. Your point about how i felt love, not him, he was in survival model, exactly! It makes me sad because my life is great, i imagine his life is hell. No contact so I'll never confirm, but i know it's true. Wow! Thank you!

  • Karen S

    I always had a feeling that my ex narc didn't stay single for l8ng. Even during the beginning when we were "happy" I just had a feeling that he was someone that didn't stay singly for long. When we were not doing so well towards the end he did become unglued. Not his style. Admitted to just enough to get my attention. When he wanted me back after being apart for 7 months my first thought was NOT he loved and missed me. It was he couldn't find someone to buy his B.S. You explain it well as always.

  • Carolyn

    There's so few therapists out there who are trained in and understand narcissism . Its a shame that the therapeutic community really hasn't caught up with the times. Atleast not in my city. I feel they are very poorly equipped to deal with these dark tetrad characters, and the havoc they wreak on others lives……. which is becoming of epidemic proportions. It didn't take me long to notice how few resources there really were for people dealing with malignant narcissists and cyber stalking. Lots of resources and support for drug addiction, alcoholism, wife beating, and general depression. But not much for people affected by the personality disorder of these creatures. Its pitiful. Cyber and digital abuse is also at an all time high, its ruining lives, yet no support groups for that either.

  • Maggie Smart

    I have a question my best friends wife is a narcissist I live next door to them i hear her all the time I don't deal with her anymore and have tried to help him. She tells,him he's a narcissist and was yelling at him saying he's stonewalling her. He tries to ignore her not fight he's closed himself to her. What is stonewalling

  • Shirley

    This is 1000 percent accurate and exactly what I experienced this past year when I got hoovered by the ex husband. Sadly I did recommit to giving him a second chance two years after he divorced me. At the time I knew NOTHING about Narcissism abuse. Everything you say here is MAJOR validation and TRUTH. I dumped him before knowing all this because I had been taking care of myself and healing from the divorce and was in a good place when he came slinking around with his poor me, victim, I need you, I love you bullshit, and I fell for it….BUT not for long…shortly after getting back together, he became smug again and started the abuse again. I didn't know at the time that silent treatments were abuse, I just know how painful it was in the past and it triggered all the other times when we were married and I found myself telling him, repeatedly 'nothing's changed'. I am out of the denial phase and still processing the truth about all this, what a shock and what pain comes with these truths, but true peace, freedom and joy are realistic possibilities now. Thank you for all your videos, this one really hit home because it describes the bullshit hoover I went through to the T!!!

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