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Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Injury



Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse – click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

Raging narcissists usually perceive their reaction to have been triggered by an intentional provocation with a hostile purpose. Their targets, on the other hand, invariably regard raging narcissists as incoherent, unjust, and arbitrary. (From the book “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited” by Sam Vaknin – Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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24 Comments

  • EternalFuu

    Narcissistic rage is a bit of a misnomer. Rage is a powerful emotion that drives people toward aggression even at the risk of immediate personal harm. All the narcissists I know sheepishly back down or take a contrite demeanor when faced with a real threat. Their "aggression" is almost always covert except in instances when they feel the coast is clear and they can bully with impunity. Narcissistic injury is basically a pity party the narc throws for itself when its little ego is bruised.

  • mokasuido

    @samvaknin Thank you samvaknin for the video very well done.. detailed and just aswered some of the questions I had. May I ask one quick question: Once in the fix of being devaluated, and additionally treatened, via a third party.. is there any way of defuseing the situation that i could try.? thank you for a reply.

  • Deborah Wesson

    I was living with one, I am not sure if I posted this already. Anyway he actually wrote down who he was at 13, all the things he said to himself he was. Anything else that anyone asked him, or said to him that was not on the list he really did not believe he had withine himself.

    I remember asking him once if he ever thought he was not nice to women, having many example of cruelities against that he had commited, and he answered " No, never" He really meant, and believed this

  • Linda

    @MultiSunflower In one case study, with their sense of entitlement, and as long as you let them, they will psychologically break one into becomming non-functioning, (unable to think) leading to one's financial bankruptcy. You will promptly be discarded (no supply).

  • OneLittlePiggy1

    Yes, I remember it well …. from sullen sulkiness to rage in an instant … the furniture being thrown around, tipped over, the empty wine glass over my head, waiting for the crash on my head. I stared him out, called my son who came to my house then called the police! Stupid me stayed with him for some time after that still looking for 'the dream' he presented in the beginning … wishing and hoping! Finally it is now over after much more suffering… 🙁

  • OneLittlePiggy1

    Suppose he was injured and raged when I sent him a text telling him to 'get his hand off his d–k and get to bed' when he was still on Skype an hour and half after saying goodnight to me he was offended in the extreme and decided not to speak to me ever again … 😉

  • Debra Deane

    Witnessed that rage one time with a man I was dating, he lost his temper and was screaming at me with his face just inches from mine.  The nice guy I knew was gone, and he was a cold, distant person the rest of the night.  That was it for me, I was outta there.  In hindsight, there were many red flags I ignored about him.  RUN if you are involved with a Narcissist.  They do enjoy destroying you.  Makes them feel powerful and important.  The ultimate ego feed.  Monsters. 

  • Dan Quality

    here's a story:
    1) cousin contradicts himself
    2) i call him out on it (he constantly does it to everyone else)
    3) he defends himself, saying he isn't wrong
    4) i give good arguments as to why he is in fact wrong
    5) he counter argues with statements such as "no, that wouldn't happen…because ive never seen it happen";"that wouldn't happen…because nobdoy kicks and screams while having their hair pulled";"the cops would never show up for something like that…because cops don't care about kids!"  < these are all real arguments he made.
    6) i finally ask him if he knows the law.  he's not a judge, cop, or a lawyer; he is a 27 year old who is dependent on his grandmother.  he says "yes, i know the law".  why did he say he knows the law?  because he felt like he had no other choice.  he had 3 choices: 1. tell the truth (no i don't know the law) and risk having all of his previous arguments about the law weakened 2. i know a little bit (which is truthful, and i would have had no problem with it) or 3. lie and say he does know the law in order to win the argument.
    7) after stating that he knows the law, i called him a liar.  he was indeed lying to me.  blatantly to my face.  at this point, im so angry at his blatant lying, that i could not help call him a liar over and over.
    8) he tells me to stop.  i tell him no.  if he wants me to leave the room, tell me to leave the room, and i continue trying to explain how he was lying to me.  he tries to defend himself more in which i respond by calling him a liar some more.  (WAS i right?  no, i wasn't.  at this point i was being an asshole. i admit it.  i was fed up.)
    9) he threatens to hit me.  i start to say "do it if you're gonna do it; don't just say it, expecting me to stop.  you won't make me stop; you can't."  but he doesn't wait.  as soon as i say "do it if", im cut off by him leaping at me.  he punched me twice in the face, multiple times on the body, and then ended up ontop of me with his hands around my neck.  "NOT ACTUALLY CHOKING YOU" he likes to remind me, but it doesn't matter: he was still ontop of me with his hands around my neck.
    10) I GAVE HIM NO valid reason to beat me up.  i didn't threaten him or portray any violent nature whatsoever.  he apologized, but immediately rationalized it afterwards.  "i shouldn't have hit you, but i can't stand it when people accuse me of being a liar, and also, you told me to do it."  (im thinking about telling him to jump off a bridge…maybe he'll do it.)
    after the argument he tried to kick me out of the house.  i packed some stuff up in a backpack and started walking down the street.  he was outside calling his mother, trying to come have her drive 3 hours to pick me up and get me out of there.  when he notices me walking away, he yells "have fun being homeless!"
    i came back and he apologized with a rationalization at the end of it.  in other words, he didn't really apologize at all.  he realized he had no real authority when it came to him kicking me out.  we're living in his grandmother's house and she is the boss.  im convinced his grandmother likes me more than him and knows all too well about his narcissism.
    for a while i felt like maybe i had pushed things too far.  but now i know that i didn't make my cousin do anything, he did it himself.  he didn't make me call him a liar over and over, i did that myself.  i let my emotion and frustration get the best of me as well.  the difference between me and cousin?  i can admit things like that; he can't.
    i now know that there is no point in arguing with him, because he "will always win".

  • Like Dry

    Holy … crud … did you just describe my biological father to a T

    The most incredible manipulator Ive ever seen in my life.  It is always about him.  He is always the smartest … most intelligent human being to ever live and ever facet of every aspect of life … must be about him.  His rages were unbelievable to behold when they came out

    Once watched him use his bare hands and rip the door off of a refrigerator.  I mean, just so furious, it just built and built and his just took his hands, took hold of the refrigerator door, and just pulled it straight off the hinges and threw it through and into the wall.

    All the time, because it was everyone elses fault for not realizing his inate genius and how he was so much smarter than every individual in existence.  I think at one point, he thought he was smarter than God.   I am not exaggerating

    He once beat me so badly, blood was just soaking through my jeans by the time I crawled away.  Didnt even know what I did at the time. 

    Heck, now I'm not really sure I did anything

  • Pete K

    Wow, this video nailed it, I dealt with a girl like this in the past. Asked a simple question and she went crazy. Screaming, yelling, totally disproportionate reaction to the question. Threw me out of her house. She was in total rage, distorting facts and I just stood there like a deer in headlights because I had no idea what was going on. She needs professional help and it's sad she doesn't see it.

  • Kathryn O'Hehir

    @Sam: how common is it that the Narcissist (which is a disorder, not an illness?) has a (primary) secondary illness/disorder, for example, PTSD and/or can one trigger the other? You probably have videos on when the person (at what age) narcissism develops, I imagine a difficult childhood sending them to escape abusive parents in fantasy land. Can that trigger say PTSD, and from that NPD develops, or is NPD first on the scene, so to speak?

  • Aryi Wallace

    After a conversation my gf said this,"I am me!!! I may be flawed but I'm perfect just the way I am scars bumps and any imperfection". Knowing her she doesnt feel this way she is extremely offended all the time, she gaslight,projects and deflects. Her self esteem is non existent and she us extremely vindictive and very jealous and wants all my time. I am co-dependent.

  • Steven K

    I just wanted to rage in my kitchen a few moments ago. I still feel like doing it. My primary motive is to exorcise my demons, to release them. I'm not mad at anyone right now, I'm mad at the constant state that I'm in. I feel blocked and unable to reach my emotions, and that makes me feel powerless and empty. Raging seems like a way to break through the concrete. Is this an illusion? Will it change anything? To me it seems more unhealthy NOT to do it. I constantly battle with this idea.

  • Ghizlane Hope

    I dealt with one , it took me few months to see his truth , he uses women , breaks the law , put everyone down ,including his family .he tried to destroy my life but I am so strong to be destroyed , the best revenge for them is to be happy and leave them in their misery and failure. 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

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