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Narcissistic Parents: Effects of Fathers on their Children – Part 2



Watch part 1: https://youtu.be/kzd8WbQhhEI

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• “Maybe I’m just too sensitive.”
• “Maybe it’s me.”
• “Maybe this is actually all just my fault.”
• “Maybe it’s true that I’m overreacting.”

Narcissistic parents will never understand the breadth of their impact on kids.

The effects on the child of narcissistic parenting can be devastating. One form of narcissistic fathers is the “helicopter dad” who hovers over the child. This form of protection is NOT protection–it’s SMOTHERING!

Done for dad’s own needs, he helicopters, most likely to control the child, or because he has his own injuries from childhood based on being under protected and now paranoid. His overprotection is for his own comfort, at the expense of his child.

This creates negative core beliefs in the child like “The world is not safe” or “I am special–but in a weak way,” or “I am not competent enough to handle my own life.”

The hallmark of narcissism is lack of empathy, inability to put the child before the parent, and feeling like you are constantly being Demeaned, Devalued and Destroyed.

At the end of the day, the children of narcissistic parents feel “less than” and because CHILDHOOD IS A HOSTAGE SITUATION and they can’t say what they really feel because the parent has no capacity for empathy, they are locked in the DOUBLE DUNGEON OF DARKNESS and end up imploding with depression, or exploding in anger.

From a MIND MAP perspective, fathers were not there to nourish the mother and nourish the family enough for proper emotional development.

Daughters of narcissistic fathers have to watch for developing core beliefs like “I’m not important, or special.” Daughters also have to watch for not becoming involved with emotionally unavailable men.

Sons of narcissistic fathers have to watch for developing core beliefs like “I’m not good enough” and make sure they don’t attach to a woman who will demean devalue and destroy them.

We Shrunk The Tune: “No Son Of Mine,” by Genesis

www.DrJudyWTF.com

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25 Comments

  • Rhiannon Fugatt

    I think my father took things to a totally new level, he not only never nurtured, but also did not allow my mother to have enough money to even buy us but second hand clothes even though he had the money. He was so self centered he would tell my mom we did not have enough money for the dental work I needed, then would go buy himself a 1966 string-ray hard top convertible corvette. He thought my brothers were his job, that I was my moms job. So after being told that they could not afford my piano lessons anymore, yet my older brother they still payed for his guitar lessons for many years. These are just small things out of a larger picture. But about our appearance and well being he did not care. But he spent large amounts of time volunteering for the church and helping out people who were not in our family while at the same time completely resisting helping out his own family. During this time right now, he has given me the silent treatment for a year and a half, same as happened between him and his mother who was the narcissistic parent he had.

  • Gabriela Kessler

    Thank you for this very informative video.
    Question ad Min. 49 What ist then the solution with such an always rejecting father, mother and younger sister, which has the function to inhibit any contact, so that the narcisstic parents are never more reachable since years?

  • Gabriela Kessler

    Ad Min. 51 Please note, that not all mothers and fathers, who have not contact to their child, are voluntary absent. In Europe and also the USA thousands of parents are absent due to parental alienation after separation or divorce of the parents.
    See e.g. Youtube "2014-04-01 Brüssel Pressekonferenz Heiderose Manthey im EU-Parlament zu kid eke pas".
    According the videos on youtube from Dr. Craig Childress, a clinical psychologue, who has done great work with assessement tools and videos adressing alienated adult children, who still refuse contact to their excluded parent, this is also a narcisstic personality disorder. See e.g. Youtube "Parental alienation: an attachment based model".

    This form is terribly widespread in Europe, but also in the US.
    In Europe it is widespread due to
    1) the german Jugendamt, an institution founded by the Nazis, which steals childrem from foreign mothers, when they become a single mother and also because some mothers are denigrated at the german Jugendamt by the father of the child, because he does not want to pay alimonies and also not maintain contact to his child after divorce.
    In Germany this children are mostly given to children's homes, by which the german Jugendamt is financed, or to foster families, another big market, where this children are often misused and also killed, or abroad to the home country of the mother.
    2) it happened also to single mothers in Switzerland and in particuklar in the Kanton Schwyz in central Switzerland due to untrained lay persons in authorities until they were finally forbidden in january 2013.
    In Germany and in Switzerland these children were then alienated from their mothers by strictly refused contact, because the goal was to familiarize and accustom them to a new environment.
    These children became therefore completely alienated from excluded parents so that they refuse contact to their excluded parent even when they are adult and free to contact them.
    This is very painful for excluded parents.

    My Case

    During study exchange with Germany during my final work in psychology at the LMU university of Munich with the subject "Parent-child-interaction during the first years of life and the role of the mother and the father on the development of the child" I became a single mother after separation from the father of the child who disappeared when our child was 1,5 years old. He was from Prague Tschechoslowakia and lived sind 3 years in Germany as political refugee due to a german grandmother. When he abandoned me and our child, he refused his address and he also refused contact to our son for 5 ,5 month. I wrote him letters, sent to his employer, explaining him, that keeping up contact to his son is important for the development of his son and that I agrre, wen he wants to spend saturday or sunday with him. But he refused speaking with me and went instead to the german Jugendamt, where he accused me, that our child is in danger. He was a single child, I am the oldest from six children an had already exams in paedagogy at the University of Zurich for teachers and earned my studies as ski teacher mainly for children.
    My 23 month old son was then illegally abducted from the day nursery behind my back, while I was at the university for preparing final exams, by 3 womens from the german Jugendamt and without knowing me and without hearing me as they shoud do according KJHG 80. They left no message for me, where they brought my 23 month old child and brought him to a children's home from the german Jugendamt 30 km outside Munich. Such attacks on the children of foreign mothers after separateion happen in Germany always on friday morning. After 12 o clock nobody of the german Jugendamt is anymore reachable. Then I was attacked shortly after I came home. I was imprisoned for 8 days in a closed psychiatry, the "house of the dead children", where the Nazis had killed unwished children at Haar 30 km outside Munich, and without a law court decision and with refusal to be heared by a judge. Also this is against the law and against human rights. The german psychiatrists justified my imprisonment with the comment "You stand under Schutzhaft." The state dependent german psychiatry still uses the Schutzhaft from Reinhard Heydrich despite the Allies had forbidden this torture in the trials agains the war criminals at Nürnberg in 1946 and they still use it against foreign mothers and children, as in nationalsocialism and during second world war e.g. in Poland 1939-1945. See under Hildegard Hetzer.
    During this 8 days of imprisonment a german judge from the guardians court took me away behind my back, without hearing me, without providing and avocate the right to determine the stay of my child. And the woman from the german Jugendamt, who initiated the illegal abduction of my child phonded my mother in Switzerland and told her the typical standard lie of the german Jugendamt by which the German Jugendamt always forces itself through the law courts: "I have here a swiss child. The mother wanted to kill the child and herself and was brought to a closed psychatric clinique. Because you are the grandparents I ask you, if you want the child, and if yes, travel as quick as possible to Munich for acquiring your grandchild."
    After 7 days my parents travelled to Munich and acquired my child, travelled then back to Switzerland. In the evening a psychiatrist in this closed clinique told me, that I can leave the next day after bein heared by a judge, but only if I say nothing and that I say not, that I was not by free will at Haar. Otherwise I must remaine there for undetermined time.. They still use the KZ law from the Nazis!
    The next day I was brought to a judge at Haar and the psychiatrist read a long list of terrible things I should have don to my child, provided to him by the womens who have abducted my child with illegal means. I was not allowed to say one word. Then I could leave the closed psychiatric clinique at Haar. But my child was away.
    My parents had travveled with my child the evening before to Switzerland, where my father wrote me a letter to my birthday the next day, with a ban on entering the house under penalty of police and law. Then my parents travelled with my child six week to Italy for hollidays. They refused me all help against this illegal abduction of my child.
    When they came back from Italy and to a meeting with a lawyer 2 month later at Munich I get to know, that they had already met the father of my child in Italy and arranged, that our child shall be educated by my parents in Switzerland. I was completely stupefied.
    The psychiatriest had provided the law court the insinuation of a neurosis (In reality the have caused a severe trauma) The German Jugendamt refuses then always to give back the illegal abducted child and insists in a new assessement by a professor of psychiatry and conducted by his young assistants in psychology and psychiatry. The assessement was conducted by a young assistant having no family and no children, who told me, that it cannot be that my parents refuse me contact to my child, because such parents do not exist. And the psychological assistant conducted the MMPI test and told me then, that all results are OK. But the Law court was provided the result of a borderline personality disorder and the proposal not before two years to bargain again about the return of my child, but only when I have finished my studies and I have a job with enough income for me and my child. (once again illegal means and without an understanding of child development and that young children cannot hold parental images that long time. The next step is then that the german Jugendamt decides after two xyears to leave the children where they are due to risks by a new replacement).
    My witnesses were refused of bein heared and heared after this decision nearly 5 month later. According statistics 2014 80 % of these assessement for the family law courts are wrong. (See the informations of the GAG Giessener Akademiksche Gesellschaft 2014 on youtube about illegale Kindesentziehung durch das deutsche Jugendamt)
    The german Jugendamt then provides a very intrigant "Aufenthaltspfleger", a young man without family and children, who refuses contact between mother child despite the mother has still the sole custody and visitation rights and despite of the childrens rights to be visitated by their parents etc. The german Jugendamt also agitates the mother and her parents with converse instructions: I received e.g. after monthes of legal fights a letter with the right for contacting my child at christmas, while the same time myý parents in Switzerland were instructed by the german "Aufnenthaltspfleger" of the german Jugendamt to let me not to my child and that the letter is a falsification. Such intrigues happen permanently by the german Jugendamt for the goals of the destrution of the foreign family, because this iorganization of the Nazis is still very rassistic. (See also the book from the italian mother Joumana Gebara: Not without my children.)
    A german psychologue proposed me therefore to go to Zurich in Switzerland for an independent assessement.
    9 month after the illegal abduction of my child I went to Switzerland and worked at Zurich and went there to the swiss youth office.
    Due to refusal of my parents I could see my child only once 10 month after its illegal abduction and for only 3 hours under supervision, in which my mother insisted and who afterwards blocked again all possibilities to see my child. The paranoid blocker who called all offices and made them anxious and also angry, was my mother.

    I am the oldest of 6 children, The youngest has spastical disabilities, because my mother was already to old for a child.
    I remember: When I relocated during studies from the Opus Dei at Zurich first to a single room in the city and later at the age of 23 years to a living community of students how strange my mother and my sisters reacted: When I called at hom, a younger sister answered at the phone "I don't speak with you." My question "Why?" she answered "Because Mami has told that you are mad now and that we shall therefore no more sepeak with you." and replaced the phone. I was also refused to travel home at weekend for month. Only after a visit of the living community by my grandmother, the mother of my mother contact was again possible.

    When I travelled to the village, my parents live, a younger sister, who lead together with my parents their textile enterprise of spinning mill with about 70 employee, my sister escaped every time with my child through another entry, set my child in her car and drove away. And my parents accepted this. They always refused contact by the assuption that I am not sane and should go to therapy. Therapy for what? they answered alwas with the words "The german Jugendamt has told, …. the psychiatrits at Haare have told … 1985", when they were at Munich for overtaking my child!
    I took contact with the independent psychologue and expert in Switzerland recommended by a german psychologue at Munich who told me, that I have no chance against the rightextreme networks at Munich. The swiss psychologue ordered the law record from Munich and calculated the MMPI once again. He found, that all my test results were in the normal range, but the interpretation was wrong and insnuated me a Norderline Personality Disorder for which he could find no data, and that the law court at minuch was manipulated with this wrong opinion of experts. He wrote a new opinion of experts for the district councillor at Zurich, who reversed then the unjust sentences of Munich. The whole nightmare could have had an end. But it found no end due to my parents.
    My parents engaged a lawyer who contested this decision, with the perfidious argument, that the district councellor of Zurich is no more in authority, because I had returned to Munich for final exams at the university of Munich. The decision of the district councillor of Zurich was then reversed. And since then counts again the first judgements at Munich and until today, and despite that it is provenly wrong.
    This wrong judgement was never corrected at Munich but correction always refused with the argument, that my child is no more in Germany and therefore Germany is not in authority.
    The only authority which could have reversed the judgement, was the authority of the small village iin Switzerland, where my child lived. But 9 month after my child was illegally given to Switzerland, my father was voted as president of the community and remained for many years. An the guardianship authority consisted of an elemantary school teacher craving for validation, a peasant and an insurance agent, all lay persons.
    The whole childhood I could see my child only about 12 times, at the beginning only 3 hours a year under supervision, later one day a year until his age of 16 years. We could never meet at birthdays or chistmas or easter and never spend some days of holliday together. All information about his school achievement, diseases and even a severe accident and a stay at the hospital was refused. Ans since the apprenticeship of my son, his adress was refused for many years. And gifts to his birthday and christmas were sent always back by my mother and my younger sister at home, mentionned above, until two years ago, when I proposed my son with a letter to search an own home for becoming independetn of this family. Then there was a short time of very short telefone contact about 1-2 min onnly. About 8 month ago, he told me, that he has not much time and that he has now a girl friend and since then he refuses again all contact, SMS and phone call.
    What to do best with the relation with my son? I am puzzled.

    Since 2007 the crimes of the german Jugendamt and connected psychologists, psychiatrists and judges are at the light due to many protests at the European Parliament, and a research of a group of scientist. (see under "Bamberger Erklärung 2007"). Since the studies of the Giessener Akademische Gesellschaft GAG the results haben become even more clear: 80% of psychological ud psychiatric assessements are wrong, there are also used wrong methods (unvalid methods and Personality Tests instead of observation of parent child interactions).
    Instead of helping now to get free from the german enslavement with a witness report about the illegal manipulations by the german Jugendamt and the state dependent psychiatrists at Haar, my parents refuse this until today. They are now both over 80 years old. The impact of the devaluation by the german judgements based on the above mentionned iolations of human rights and wrong assessement for the law court are very dramatic.
    After my return to Munich I became again various times a victim of accusations at the law court by rightextremists network in the german state and of financial rape, and finally a victim of fraud in study exchange, because I had no more monney to finish the doctoral studies, because contrary to Germans, foreign students are not integrated in Bavaria in Germany and have therefore difficulties to earn enough money for final exams.
    When the subjets of my studies were introduced at swiss universities a final exam at a swiss university was also refused at all swiss universities by german professors (!), because the new founded institutes for psychology were overtaken by a board consisting of only german professors from the Deutsche Gesellschaft für Psychologie (DGP), founded 1940, who already during the 40ties tried to impose their rules on other countries for getting profit, and who occupied all swiss institutes for psychology with only german professors, who brought their german doctoral students to Switzerland for qualifying them at the cost of swiss tax payers, while at the same time refusing it to swiss citizens and misuring for this refusal also german law court decisionsn base d on human rights violations – as German professors did it already in East Eruopean countries during second world war 1939-1945 for overtaking their work and income for Germans. At the core Nationalsocialism was a big program for redistribution of wealth in the favour of Germans. Since globalization the problems with such unfair redistribution rise again, because globalization provides new opportunities for such redistribution.Even the swiss government could do nothing against the unfair behavior of the german professors, because they have provided swiss universities in advance for privatization. Therefore german professors could completely overtake psychology in Switzerland by the same means as in Poland during 1939-1945 by refusing swiss qualification despite full studies with best performance. The same happened also in other subjects like communication, interculturale communication, paedagogy.
    While many ancient german study collegues from Munich could establish themself in Switzerland and even in a neighbour village in Switzerland, I became very traumatized and sick due to refused return to my home country and was afterwards made a 1 Euro slave in Germany. I can only return to my country as an ashamed not enough qualified workless, despite self financed full studies with best performance. This is a terrible nightmare, which let me often no more sleep during night!

    My sisters:
    The relation with my sisters has broken since the illegal abduction of my child. None of my sisters has ever asked me what happened at Munich and even don't wandet ever to hear it, even the one not, who became a journalist for the biggest swiss newspaper. 2 sisters are divorced and 3 not married.

    Some informations about my parents:
    My father has lost his mother at the age of 4 years due to a hear attack, when she was driving out with carriage and horse with her 2 children – my father 4 years old and my aunt 2 years old. She died at a heart attack after stopping the shearing horse. The children were found hours later with the dead mother. I have the same day birthday as this grandmother I never knew.
    My mother is the youngest of 4 children of the third generation of swiss cheesery founders at the ancient freestate of Danzig (today Poland). After the beginning of the second world war in the ancient Freestate of Danzig, the polish teachers were released and substituted by teachers from the Third Reich. My mother therefore got through the brainwashing of the german nazi youth and this also trashed generation (see "Die geprügelte Generation" by Ingrid Müller-Münche) and was also a very trashing mother, what is unusual for swiss paedagogy. When my mother was 12 years old the family flew back to Switzerland with railway circus trailer for an elefant, sealed by german friends, because the Nazis wanted them to deport to the KZ Stutthof. My mother could never admit, that they flew and were rfugees, but always said: we went, maybe due to the discrimination of swiss refugees in Switzerland during and after second world war. My mother was a cold mother. I cannot remember, that whe has even taken me in her arms and brought to comfort. Also my youngest sinster, who has spastic impairments cannot remember to be ever taken in the arms by our mother. And there were big communication problems with my mother. Maybe therefore I have studied psychology and communication. I had to resolve a problem under which I have suffered my whole youth and many years of adulthood.

    Despite intensive contact to the relatives from my mother as long as the grand parents lived, all this contacts fell apart after the illegal abduction of my child.

    The only relative I had good contact und who told me always that it is no my fault, was my aunt, the sister of my father, who was a nursery school teacher. She has unfortunately died 3 years ago due to a tuberculosis, she had since the dead of her mother. She became also excluded by my mother and told me, that she cannot see my father since years. When she calls him, only my mother takes the phone and says her quickly good bye. The same does my mother with me since the illegal abduction of my child. And my sisters repeat the behavior of my mother. And my aunt said once, she does not hold much of my sisters, because theý are very aligned.

    Since the loss of their factory my parents are 3/4 of the year away in one of their holiday houses in Italy or Spain or the appartment on the mountains in Switzerland, the have sold to all to my sisters.
    Since my son was illegaly abducted I never received a bed for night despite 5 hours travel with train to their village, and despite the appartment on the mountains is where my son lives and works. This exclusion and stones in the way of fcontact to my son are very hurtful.

    I allow to use this report for case studies on narcisstic personality disorder and parent-child-alienation. .

    I wellcome all suggestions how to get out of this nightmare.
    Because it cannot become worse and I don't know anymore, what is the right way.

  • Mladen Mladen

    Hello. First i want to tell you that this video is great, and i admire effort you are giving to help people. My problem is that I am 33 years old, once I was golden golden boy(not for my parents), i was the best student in every class i ever went to, like a student i won so many rewards at country and international level, i won all that could be won in fields of electronic, computing, geography, my homework was best in articles since 4th grade till end of school. I am short, but i am good looking with blue eyes and i was literally chased by girls. and so on, briefly i was promising prince of my generation. Now, many years later, and 2 years in jail, after 3,5 years on effexor, which i stopped cold turkey and i will not take it, even if it was matter of life. After few pointless relationships with woman who are much under lever(now i understand they were narcissists) I realised where is the problem. My father is 15000% narcissist and I am still trying to evaluate my mother, maybe she was just becoming like father at some point.
    I am happy and it feels liberating to see what is the cause of problem. I was asking myself 100 times, what is wrong with me, why i am doing this, why i am not capable to start living normal life like most of my classmates live.
    But on the other hand, I am terrified, frightned, shocked and i just wish to dissapear.

    My question is, is there a way, any possible way to feel like a human and to build normal life for myself???????

    Thank you a lot

  • Aa

    Yea , double dungeon.
    My narc father gas lighted my mother when I was three , and had her committed to the state hospital , I was his scapegoat , so the double dungeon pretty much describes my life.
    I woke up about six years ago , and everyday I study this subject , everyday I get better.
    Thanks for your insightful interview.

  • Kara Shea

    Thank you, YouTube for bringing together people like me with the invaluable videos from experts such as LisaA.Romano,OllieMathews,Richard Grannon, SamVaknin,DrJudyWTF, and more.
    Finally a video about narc fathers and the far reaching harmful effects of their abuse of his DAUGHTERS. Is it any wonder that I've historically rejected men who treated me with respect and kindness, and chosen to marry and have long term relationships with emotionally unavailable men who demean, bully, invalidate, and neglect me; when my father had Always treated me like I was/am an idiot, damaged, that my expression of any emotions are "over dramatic" and everything you've spoken about??
    I'm 53 years old and my father still treats me like a child and will blow up at me with narc rage, leave me sobbing hysterically and wondering "whatdid I do?"
    I'm finally putting it together (alcoholic, narcassistic father and my lifetime of HORRIFIC "relationships", self isolation, lonliness, drug abuse …..)

  • L O

    This is helpful…thank you. Now that I've learned what narcissism is…my father meets a lot of the criteria (and so does my mother…but more in a covert way). I'm still a bit confused though. I'm not sure if it's a cultural thing. My parents are Middle-eastern Muslims, so many of the traits seem to be a part of the culture. Even though I'm in my 30's, I'm an unmarried woman so am to live at home with them due to cultural reasons. I have never felt like my life was my own. As the years go by the harder it gets to deal with. I've tried to move out before but was met with a rage attack.My mother doesn't rage but gets very upset and tells me how hard it is out there, etc. I have a good job and a masters degree but I still doubt that I'll be able to make it on my own. I don't know how to deal with my dad and mom when any type of me standing up for myself is considered being disrespectful and going against the culture they were brought up with. I'm not oldest child, but my siblings all side with my parents. I don't follow the religion, but my father told me if I ever leave Islam I will not be his daughter anymore and he will have nothing to do with me (that's the tip of the iceberg). So I'm confused if that's the culture/religion talking or narcissism. Now that I'm engaged and want to get married my parents are making it difficult for me to do so. My mom doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I set a wedding date for May of 2017. She pretends like it isn't happening. They are angry because my fiance is not Middle-eastern. He even "converted" to Islam because my parents will not even consider me marrying anyone that wasn't Muslim. I have to pretend that I am.

    These are some things my mother has told me in regards to my fiance (who I met in medical school. I withdrew…mainly due to a lack of self-confidence and dealing with anxiety and panic attacks I had since high school but were untreated):

    "If you would have considered our feelings (my parents) and cared you wouldn’t have gone through with it.”
    -“You were not in the right frame of mind to make this decision.”
    -“You’re beautiful now, but later on…then what?”
    -“It’s about family (said a million times)….you need to have a strong bond with your brothers and sisters and their kids. You will not have that kind of bond with your children if you marry him. Family needs to stick together.”
    -“There is a lot of distraction in life. People are living for the distractions and not for the hereafter.”
    -“When you went to find someone the first thing on your check list was for him to not be Lebanese.”
    -“I hope he respected you because most non-Arab men wouldn’t. I hope you didn’t do what I think you did…I don’t want to know. A mother always knows what her daughter does.”
    -“It was very hard for me as a parent to see you suffering through medical school.”
    -“God created family to stick together”… etc, etc.
    -“You even said before it was best to stick with your own culture in marriage.” (I don’t remember saying that)
    -“All your friends married someone within their culture. They wouldn’t do what you are doing.”

  • storytellermich

    Holy crap, all this hits home. My ex is hard core chopper dad. He wouldn't even let our son take a shit without demanding that I check on him to make sure he didn't drown in the toilet or something. When we finally split and I am the main provider, he lost it. He couldn't stand that I let our son play with kids outside without me watching, or allow a family to babysit while their dad was home. He calmed the hell down somewhat until I adopted 2 cats from a family(total of 3 cats), then he told me he wanted me to get rid of them. Uhhh, no.

    My son is in hockey for a second season even after losing interest after the first. Finally got my ex to shut up about allowing him to no longer play, but when discussing other sports/activities, he got upset that I suggested a game that doesn't have a local league(ball hockey and dodge ball). Can't a kid just have fun?

  • Bella

    I really wouldn't suggest going to her. Try Inner Intergration here on You Tube for some real time care and views. This woman talks so much that there is no way she actually listens enough to truly understand. It is NOT a 'real' disorder, co-dependents, so it is not here field.

  • Just Me

    My narcissistic father got away with ALL of his crimes, never paid for ANY of them. Did he die alone? Nope! His second (narc) wife was there, as were the Golden Child and my sister. So sick of the silly cliches about "karma." That is 100% BS.

  • Brenda Drew

    Been through all of this with a malignant narc abusive father and narc family of origin, plus a co-dependent mother who was sometimes abusive herself. THAT was because her own father ran away when she was two months old and never saw her father again. Thankfully, her step father that she didn't get until she was 20 years old was warm and wonderful and an equally wonderful grandfather. But the stress in my home growing up was so thick one could cut it with a knife! Unfortunately, I went on to marry a real Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde malignant narc abusive husband of 42 years and that has had it's impact in it's own way with our three daughters and our oldest granddaughter. Until he passed away two and a half years ago. Two of our daughters have grown up to be strong independent women with master's degrees and careers but every relationship with men that they've had has been toxic and dysfunctional. These toxic dysfunctional men that they've dated ( my oldest was married to a guy who was bi-polar and they divorced) all come from their own dysfunctional backgrounds and were "commitment phobes". They've gone through some therapy and I'm finally in therapy which has helped a lot including all the great help at YouTube University, what I call YouTube because of all the great info on YouTube. Invaluable knowledge! I think this great quote aptly applies to parenting and narcissistic abuse…"History repeats itself", people repeat history and "those who forget history are condemned to repeat it"….George Santayana..THE TRUTH! Not only politically, but also socially and psychologically as well! Thanks for sharing, great video!

  • Brenda Drew

    P.S. Then there are also those of us who ended up with some narcissistic abusive teachers and bosses at work…what about that whole scenario? While I had many great teachers and bosses, there were those who were narcissistic and abusive, belittling and demeaning! I think that is a worldwide problem and this doesn't just exist in the home with our toxic dysfunctional upbringings. This also adversely impacts academia and the workplace as well! It also negatively impacts politics and now we have the biggest raging egomaniac, narcissistic abusive president/dictator in the White House ever and we can all see how abusive he is to people in general and to his wife! That is written all over her pathetic face! And another real Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde as well. After living my whole life with these types of people, I can smell them and spot them a thousand miles away! Can't fool me anymore! Even John Edwards was one, Mr. Charming himself who emotionally abused his poor wife in the public eye! Ditto for narcissistic Bill Clinton, though he may be a milder form of one and had to pay penance for his wrong doings!

  • RAV

    I grew up as the scapegoated daughter. My dad fits every single trait. I'm the oldest living child. Brother passed away at birth a year before I was born. He blamed my mother wouldn't even let her see the baby, buried him before she even knew what happened. This was back late 50s. Other siblings followed. He was never home. He cheated on her. Had out-of-wedlock children. My mom never drove because he made her think that she wasn't smart enough. Growing up, I was blamed for every problem. While my dad was having out of wedlock children, he forced me to have an abortion when I was a young teenager. He could care less. When I was old enough and was working, bought my first car. I used to drive my mom around looking for my dad. We would always find his car in apartment complex parking lots meeting women and most likely prostitutes. On my mother's death bed, he berated her for how much her nursing home cost him while he went out and bought a brand new car and paid cash. His sons are just as sick as he is. Right after she took her last breath they laughed. I have since completely gotten away from all of them. I always stood up to him and he couldn't stand it. He's old and nasty and everyone is starting to see the truth. After all oh, what kind of father tells people that he wants his daughter to die so he can laugh over her dead body? My life is so much better since they're out of it. It's amazing. No one deserves that kind of abuse for any reason.

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