narcissist videos


As you learn more about narcissism, you may uncover a distinct lack of conscience in some. You wonder, “Am I dealing with a sociopath, or worse? Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter explains commonalities and distinctions regarding narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. Over the past 39 years he has conducted many workshops and over 60,000 counseling sessions.

Books by Dr. Carter:

Dr. Carter’s online workshops on narcissism, anger management, and overcoming infidelity:



  • freedommascot

    Well, here’s the thing, Dr. Carter. These folks serve the function of providing experience to people who are naive. Life is hard and it’s lessons might even be harder. My Narc was a shimmering jewel of fascination. She was bold, fearless, adventuresome, intellectually alive—seemingly as robust as they come. I, a female, was 19 and she was 16 when we met. We became “fast friends,” of course, and stayed in relationship for 20 years. The trauma I suffered from her was the result of her attempting to destroy me—not my life but my psychological identity. I didn’t understand it because I had no concepts by which to measure her behavior and its effects. It takes a great deal of meta-analysis (as well as the educational efforts of folks like yourself), to see what is going on. Even now, I’ll think about her in warm and friendly terms until I re-realize that she only viewed me as an object for her use—had to view me that way. It’s that that clinches it for me but, while painful, I view it as an experience of a lifetime which has actually given me so much. Knowing what I know today, if I could go back and do it over, I would jump at the chance to experience it again, but this time on my terms. That is—teach the Narc a lesson! So, with all the knowledge out there these days, that is exactly what is going to be happening, i.e., these narcs are not going to be getting away with it. Call it the “social immune system” kicking into gear!

  • S B

    Hi Dr. Carter,

    I have written a petition to try and get the definition of domestic abuse expanded for those who suffer psychological abuse from these abusers. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, treatment resistant depression and have had a nervous breakdown. At this point I feel it imperative that psychological abuse be recognized and treated as swiftly and severely as physical abuse. Please read and sign the petition if you agree? Thank You.

  • Sherri M

    Hey here is another one for you., With humor. " How do you get away from psychopath, a sociopath and a narc? The answer .
    With the psychopath, run and weave and don't look back, you could be a moving Target.
    To leave a sociopath, run but go quietly and carefully because if you fall, they might catch up to you.
    To leave a Narc, run with clanky shoes or boots, because making "unnecessary noise" a narcissist can't stand. Lol.. oh and for added effect slam the door, God knows they have done that previously. Lol

  • Katherine W

    Thank you for the clear explanations about these disorders. Sadly my brother is married to a woman who is at least one of these and she's very damaging to anyone who crosses her path, but we can't seem to get my brother to admit to this…he knows she lies and steals the rent money for her personal entertainment (rent money goes to her international holidays, her shopping sprees, etc. – her money is her money. Period.), but he seems to not be able to put an end to it. Not to mention she is very mean and has a fiery temper (nothing, nada, is her fault!) that she's used on me and my mother as well. It's very damaging having someone like her around. I've tried for 18 years, but enough is enough. I'm ready to cut off the lines of communication, except I don't want to lose my brother and their two children.

  • Jan Yager

    The narcissist I am with lives in a fantasy financial world. I have never seen so much money wasted in my life. Fortunately, we have separate bank accounts. He has no clue how to save money. He constantly breaks his word about getting a driver license. He tells me he was very independent but he seems very dependent on me. Can anyone tell me what is going on here? Something is wrong somewhere.

  • Debra Wilson

    What comes to mind is two things with a narcissist; they intend to trap you and the narcissist with a seared conscience depicts that right from wrong is irrelevant. Everything is always about their end goal which is to feed off pain and suffering. They want to conquer and defeat to feel powerful. To get there they must trap you in some fashion whether it is through covert or overt verbal abuse or lies. They plan things out in such a way that it becomes their lively hood. I think of them digging a deep pit and covering it with netting and leaves. They proceed to call you from the other side of the deep pit knowing you are unaware of that pit. Then when you happen to fall in you are now trapped without mercy. They scream and yell, say awful things and all the while you feel trapped. The irony is that no one is trapped, it is an illusion your mind forms because narcissist's want you to believe they are bigger than life with a big mouth. Every person has the choice to either acknowledge what they have done wrong and truly be repentant or they can deny their wrong doing. A person may continue to erase the wrong because they find it too humbling or too gratifying when they abuse others. Eventually their conscience will become so black and void they could open themselves up to being a sociopath or psychopath. At this point, only my opinion, one can become possessed if not sooner. Healthy people love others and show respect. Those with diabolical mindsets only wish they can do more damage as it tastes like a free smorgasbord without a price to pay…so they believe.

  • J R

    My assessment, I agree. Narrssist are very close proximity to sociopaths. . . The girl who got me exploring the learning path here. Manipulated this guy in our studies class to walk her home. Against the other girls, who liked him. While trying to keep me in a line. Manipulating the whole environment. She stated he put his hands on her while riding the train. While I was deemed to low to get with. While she already was seeing her ex, whom she said was awful. Using many other guys at the same time, at her whim. This guy put his hands on her hands she said. Propositioned her. Made her Uncomfortable. And she came right to me. I called him a sociopath, as I knew something was up. It was Her All Along. . . She smeared him to all the girls. Who didn't really listen. Told lies I'm sure. And still remains friends with the guy after it was deemed, She Had a Talk With Him. She was on her own with this story. Also, in this world the use of an ex boyfriend who died as her victim story for everybody. I'm sure very horrible. I've lost people too. But I could see the using persona, personality. . . I am not friends with her anymore after hanging in a year n a half. I decided to move forward without her. And of course I declared some things via text. To maybe be cool down the line. Zero response. . . My assessment. She was a main cog, is a main cog in all of the destruction that has occurred. Also date raped supposedly when she moved. Might be another lie. I had her in my house once to use restroom after a quick breakfast she said. I did Not touch her. After she told me about her rape some 30 minutes prior while eating. My instinct was to protect her. Then she went for a Hike with the horrible ex. Speaking how bad he was months ago. Slept with him. Showed up at a party days later we we're gonna hang out together after. Walked in with him. I was crushed. But continued forward. Saw this other girl that liked me there. The narrssist noticed and you could see the freak out. Instantaneously. When I got a drink, she made a B line towards the girl… She tried to wreck it. And of course wrecked another I Did like at the time. I was loyal to her to a fault. . . She Came back after she used up the guy or guys after the holiday season. And her explaination was it felt great but didn't mean anything. . . Are you still moving for me. Basically…. I was going to move. Of course I did not. Getting to know her more…. And the further I go with my studies here. . . It is like leaving behind a mess that once was… I don't need her any more. Meaning these types, they are going by the wayside. This is just one story. . . . .Tonight My father reached out on a dump off, Anyone coming around for the super bowl. I have not responded. My middle sister did. 4 years older. She has stated I hate that man. I will not talk to him. She's a mess. Then jumps right in. Yeah she says I'll be there. . . Playing my parents back n forth. Using them… Myself, I am working to not be played by them back n forth anymore. . . My Sis and Dad, years ago created this thing where they stated to everyone, that I Am On Drugs. . I never was. It was there connection, talking shit. I drank a lot at times. Benders. Smoked cigs. Depressed. But no drugs. . . Quite in fact I know my sis has been a heavy user since 12. Keeps it very hidden. And freaks out angry when I speak about it, even about other people. Your being negative she declares. A hider. Her eyes are sunk in now. Like a burnout. My dad hides his own usage. And has been a closet alcoholic for many years. Drinking everyday. His girlfriend was a bartender. Exact types I go for. But that story for another time. . . Mentioning drugs he gets squirmy. And even lied to my face when I confronted him once, about how he smeared me for years of using to everybody he knew. He said, Who Said That?.. When I said you guys, sis too. He smirked. Looked shifty eyed, cornered and like a scared animal ready to kill. He lied to me. A weak person who couldn't stand a truth even when it stared him in the face. The girl whom I talked to, about a hang out after the party. Lied her ass off. Same distinct way as my father and mother have for many years. It's all connected. . . So I will not be going. To dad's house for super bowl. I feel guilty, but that an internal flip they use. No thanks… This Christmas he was pulling strings on my sister and with a smirky smile would half look at me like he's doing Great, getting her to flip out. As she is totally known to do. . . I can only imagine the head trips she feels. But I cannot tell her anything about me. As the big mouth comes out, and my info will get smeared and used against me. To stop me dead cold. Usually from my parents. . . This is another vent. I do have stuff to say about all the good I'm doing, at least working on. . . But these old old issues to speak about help me right now. To just get off my chest… Thank you for listening. As I always am. Thanks.

  • Mark H

    You are dangerous, Les. You are aggravating women against men. This "narcissism" scam is insane. Who are you, a supposed doctor, to encourage women to "diagnose" their husbands? Your always talking about dangerous narcissists can only lead to divorces and plenty of them. Your message directed at weak minded women to diagnose another person is pathological.
    I researched narcissism, and found that up until 1975, it was a word that meant a person who was overly obsessed with themselves, especially their looks, with an emphasis on self eroticism, a self admiration. How that has anything to do what you are shoveling out, i am not seeing. You use the term to describe a man who is rightly leading his family as though it is evil, and that if a man doesn't look at things in an highly emotional way, like a woman, then he is dangerous.
    I know what you are doing, by the grace of God. You can call me names, but what you are doing is of Satan.
    A man is the God-given, appointed head of the wife, and the head of his family.. Satan created feminism, which tells women a man can't tell her anything, and if he does, he is controlling, manipulative and wrong. So it makes sense that shortly after feminism began in the late 1960s, that male behavior had to be pathologized, so that a stoic, strong, good and righteous man could be labeled in a derogatory way. And a feminized, emotional, weak, easily controlled man could be epitomized.

    I saw your video on religion and how narcissists like to hang out especially in Christianity. I see where your target is, and its on the Christian husband. I have been through two marriages, and somehow made it out of the trenches with a few scars, from angry feminist wives who insisted everything be done her way, using criticism, cajoling, manipulation, withholding intimacy, being aggressively emotional…. then when the smoke cleared, and then I get called a narcissist, twice, by two different wives. Who in the fuck were they to diagnose any psychological disorder, or better yet, who encouraged them to believe they were capable? People like you! I don't see any other doctors in other professions encouraging the public to diagnose other people, so why do you? This is how I confirm you are doing the bidding of Satan. That, and that the comments from women blasting their "narcissist" and how they left him or are going to leave.
    You come off as a pretty cocky guy, but that smirk will be permanently knocked off your asshole face when Jesus Christ returns. How many divorces do you estimate you have caused? How many families destroyed? How many children grew up without fathers? How many good fathers lives destroyed by being divorce raped, having lost children, wealth, family?

    The times we are in is near the end, when Esau-Edom rules for a short time. You are either a satanic jew or a twice the child of hell type…. i hope there is a special place in hell for evil men like you. You are leading many women astray. Causing divorce and division in marriages, when the bible clearly says only infidelity is justification for divorce, you pathologize righteous husbands, telling women they are dangerous and must get away at any cost. Sick!

  • J A

    My soon to be ex husband is for the books! Lack of empathy is putting it lightly…He would actually put thought, time, effort, and plot how he could hurt me or frankly anyone that he didn’t like. I did the mistake of calling friends for help during one of his “rages” (slamming, throwing furniture, yelling)… not only was he able to justify and victimize himself-HE MADE HIMSELF CRY!!! I sounded like a crazy woman telling them he was faking it…that he was lying…ultimately they believed him…he laughed when they left-his response, “That’s what you get for calling them.”…..I have so many stories…SOCIOPATH…

  • Betty Hazel

    Dear Dr Les, can narcissism be a spectrum disorder? Can a person be raised by a covert narcissist and then exhibit narcissist traits when a relationship gets tough and then later be truly sorry and apologetic…. seemingly surprised by their poor behavior….promising to behave better? Poor impulse control? Low empathy? …..for 30 years. I would love more videos like the one you did on how to behave better for those who want to change and still are loved by the those who they make suffer. Please. We have professional care, but 15 to 25 minutes appointments are never longer enough and are very expensive. Plus, many professionals just do not understand narcissism. Thank you so much. We are learning a lot.

  • Sophia Lahen

    I love your insight and explanations, but in defensive of some of us “victims”, if you will, I think that though the bad boy bad girl attitudes definitely are out there that isn’t usually what people are drawn to initially. Most times these people are extremely intelligent, charming, sweet, considerate, generous, helpful, etc etc. It takes a while to get to know someone to realize the person you thought you knew disappeared, and it’s now their evil twin you are dealing with. I guess in part it’s a result of a transient society with many people relocating for one reason or another and we are all meeting practically total strangers with pasts we can’t really verify.
    These people are absolutely relentlessly exhausting even if one is able to avoid their webs.

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