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Mitigate the narcissist during holidays by focus on kids



Mitigate the narcissist during holidays! Holidays are upon us and toxic narcissistic exes will do everything in their power to create problems. Our best defense is to pivot our focus onto our children and look for ways to work around their provocations

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11 Comments

  • Kwistenbiebel200

    I love these shorter videos, it is easier for me to make time for. I agree with anticipating trouble at holiday periods and focusing on my son has helped me a lot to take away the stress. But I have been lucky I had the time to do that. It becomes harder when work comes in the way.

  • Nick Yeoman

    It's extremely difficult for children to have fun with a person who has NPD. You may think they had fun, but more than likely they were just told they had fun. (So it's your job to make sure they actually have fun and not told their emotions). I recommended to fight for your position using facts and no emotion but have a backup plan to reschedule the event/holiday for the following weekend. This gives the children the opportunity to have the fun they want rather then the fun they are told to have. The children will usually let you know what they missed out on and you can then accommodate.

  • J Casell

    Great points here Duane! My problem is a little different in that my narc only has access to my son on weekends because of his work schedule. But lately, he has been lovebombing our youngest child (he has given up on the older three (15,20,22) and focuses on the youngest (9). It is really hard to watch this happen- my intuition tells me this is a reaction to some boundaries I recently enforced (for example, the ex was walking into my house and going through my mail when he would drop off my child !). Also, it has occurred to me that he has another woman/supply (he has been going through them) that he wants to impress. One of his recent girlfriends actually sent him a Father’s Day card to tell him what a great dad he is 🤮.
    This can drive me crazy, but since it is out of my control- I am forcing myself to keep all of my focus on my son and his experience when he is with me. I remind myself that I am not in competition with my ex, but I want to be the best mama that I can be and also focus on me enjoying my son. This stuff stinks, but the silver lining is that it does keep you aware of the bond between you and your child, to make it the best it can be 🙂

  • Mark Hoffman

    My feelings are in order for the kids not to feel stressed about events and who get who. It take one parent to take the back seat in order for there to be little to no strife… I'm that person… I'm not going to force my children to be with me. So I decided to offer time with Dad. If they don't want to take me up on the offer then I'm not waiting around licking my wounds. I go and do my thing and try to have fun. When others invite me for a get away weekend and I'm free, off I go. I'm 56 and my good years are fewer than ten years ago. I love my children but I can't compete with the narc mother who puts ideas in their heads.

  • M C

    Surprise surprise, today I was denied access because today is Halloween. I have police enforced access, but like always nothing happens. My ex denies access every time there is a special event. She uses the excuse that the children are sick.

  • Matthew Trudeau

    One aspect to always keep in mind is that they will never ask a question they don’t already know the answer to. Think about that. Why ask questions you already know the answer to? It’s all about supply and setting you up to be on the hook for something.

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