Is He Really A Narcissist? Why You're Confused



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Is he really a narcissist? Why you’re confused is because narcissism is on a spectrum and there is ‘co-morbidity’. Find out what that means and clear more of the confusion you may have about this personality disorder.

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Comments (28)

I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart!! You said everything I have lived with for over 16 years… I came to tears as I listened to all of your knowledge.
You have helped me and I know now what I need to do, to work my way out of this painful, shameful, debilitating marriage, that has taken away my own soul.
Thank you. I would like to see more of your information.

Most narcs are mixed. Thank you for describing this fact.

I see the mix in my own family.

Mom: narc/borderline ➡ she was moody, impulsive, an addict, sometimes violent, and showed little empathy.

Dad: narc/covert with special gifts, close to genius. He hijacked conversations for decades, thought he knew almost everything, and was full of himself, blaming my mother for their unhappy marriage. Dad was almost like an aspie.

My sister: a more clean cut narc, with more of a sociopathic persona, self destructive and totally heartless.

Me: the almost healthy one. I have worked hard for many years, trying to control my own narcissistic tendencies…. I'm doing alright.

I am confused if my ex is a narcissist or just immature or a player. He is already 32 years old but do all the signs of narcissism.

narcissist:
1.over whelmed ego
2.selfish
3.idealize and discard(BPD similar symptoms)
4.seeking attention and validation all the time.
5.lack of empathy,which is causing jelous,revenging in a relationship.

This only compares 2 different disorders. I’m still confused after this video.

People please help me to understand of the guy I love is covert narcissist. Yesterday I asked him directly if he is (I didn't use the word but I asked if he ever have felt any love or sympathy) and he ignored my question completely. We see long distance. But today he show up and said he was pissed off cos I don't believe him. I'm general he is really selfish and didn't seem like he care for my feelings. I've seen him crying when I was saying I will leave. He only gives big promises and says how he wanna change but he never do change. Few days ago he ghosted me for about 2 or 3 days. He was reading my messages but wasn't responding. Then he said he just shut off cos he was stressed. Before that I was super upset with him and wrote him lots of things including how this is bad for my health and he just didnt say a word…. I think he is narc but the fact he stayed after i told him I don't believe him at all? Please help me to figure it out… I'm with him for one year but we haven't met yet….. Cos he always postpone things. He don't work so he don't have money to come he says. He withdraw often and never been really talkative. But I have criticised him a lot.. And he was even saying himself he is bad and he agree on most things i say as ctmriticizm. He don't call me names. This is what confused me… So please help.

how about a horder and covert narcissist combination, uncontrolled spending and OCD

My dad was diagnosed as a psychopath and what happened was I was then I would not know red flags and I have trauma and people throw around the diagnosis and I was diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder my dad being a psychopath I was traumatized by him early in life and my entire life I thought I was crazy

Living with complex post traumatic stress disorder I dealt with labels thrown at me I get very frightened withdrawn depressed and emotional from trauma and definitely I think we have no right diagnosing others because some of us are very sensitive and emotional because we have been abused by actual psychopaths and narcissistic people I find the more I stay away from people I find iffy and spend time alone healing the wounds and trauma by continuing therapy and doing the things my therapist recommends and prescribes things are coming so clear I’m feeling much more comfortable safe and even less anxiety not feeling like I have to explain myself and really enjoying the quiet time listening to positive happy music gathering my art supplies and I’m really beginning to be more comfortable with my femininity because the person in question really made my feelings about myself worse I knew he was not faithful or true and he said a lot of mean things pretending he was joking or would deny he pretended to care but couldn’t remember important details so many more red flags as I go back and see again I’m not a doctor and not a mind reader but ya I’m glad he chose to go when I was going through a really tough time and being very honest about what was going on with my emotions from stuff from the past that came up in my memories about the traumatic events as a child he got nasty and was cold and cruel sayin “ do you and your family like drama “ and at that moment I was hurt because no person who was abused as a child and grows into an adult with anxiety depression and panick attacks and fear and lack of trust enjoys living with the emotions memories and aftermath of trauma it proved this man had no empathy because he doesn’t understand or feel how people who are empathetic feel and respond to trauma and that at stages of therapy burried emotions and memories well up and come out in forms of triggers and emotions I often see a person who is becoming emotional and consider they may be really hurt and gone through abuse as a child I don’t suddenly assume or accuse it as someone wanting attention or drama but because he acts like that he thinks everyone else does and therefore lacks empathy he did this come go silent treatment hot cold sayin nice things making promises he never honoured and often forgot my name and would call me by the county i was from and would talk to and text people while he was talking to me I’m quite relieved to read and see these videos because regardless of the issues he has I’m not a doctor but he made me feel like shit and my physical and mental health where badly affected so I’m glad I showed my emotions because it made him go and now I’m feeling strong and clear and am happy it’s done

The other thing he did was play on the fact my marriage was not strong both my husband and I where abused by psychopaths my father is one diagnosed under a brain scan and other tests and my husband’s mother was also medically diagnosed same way this person made me feel worse about the situation blaming me that my husband didn’t like me because my home isn’t spotless and had other ways of making me feel inadequate at times then others made me feel like i was good enough it caused more sadness about the situation with my marriage being troubled because of both my husband and my traumas my husband is truly a good person and has yes done things but never like this man who had been fucking with my head the man fucking with my head started to remind me of my dad my husband is nothing like my dad in fact he’s dealing with someone at work who tries to manipulate him it’s another guy but the guy at work does all these same things my husband constantly complains about this co worker my husband and I draw abusive manipulative people because we where made to believe we had to take abuse from them because we had a parent who suffered psychopathic personality so they conditioned us to take and accept abuse done to us

My husband and I are sticking together! and not putting up with abusive people anymore

But what if they are aware and bring up the awareness and say they need help? The person I'm seeing have some traits and I was surprised when he mentioned that to me.

This lesson was very informative; excellent. Thank you!

I wonder what percentage of the comment section is really just giving into confirmation and outcome bias.

Thank you for validating this for me.

How to know if it's us narcissists? We would possibly not able to feel the others feeling.

who cares, people, mostly women create theories without any evidence, to gain pseudo-control over their environment. it is better to move on, when in doubt. practice makes perfect…to know more about life, one is bound to commit more mistakes, a learning process. dont be lazy, life is short. try-fail-learn-repeat-succeed-forget

Ebola doesn't looking exactly all the times like in medical textbooks. But Ebola is Ebola. With the narcissists is the same. If he/she is 80-90% narc then he/she is a NARC!

The narcissist is smart if he goes to counseling he'll outsmart that the psychologist trust me I seen it so we never gets diagnosed

I ended up with ptsd and such intense brain fog I feel like I’m loosing my mind , I forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it

Narcissism isn't a Mental Disorder, its a Demonic Possession! I have never seen or heard of a case where a Narcissist was treated for a mental illness or where they wanted to seek help or better themselves! There is no medicine or a cure! They are Satanic, evil and wicked! They are Reprobates, Damned without Redemption, plain and simple!

Strong women forget to teach other women and girls. Women are so very weak ……and their daughters follow what the weak moms do and say. That's how a girl's dad controls, grooms, then eventually molests her.
Watch your husbands ladies, or her step dads. you will see how dad touches on your daughter a lot. Just watch him. Watch how he loves to hug her, but he hardly hugs your sons. He taps the son, on the shoulder, back, or top of his head. But he manages, to always stands near your daughter. This is so he can touch her. Your innocent daughter, doesn't know or understand his intent. She has not been taught by you and grandma. Mom, Teach her about all men.

Oh!! I didn't know about bordeline narcissist. So that is what my mom is. I got some bordeline traits myself…. Feel like sh*t.
The worst is that my mom is not seing as someone who has a mental disorder but I am. Because I have struggles in adult life. But I seek help.
I think I have C-PTSD because both my toxic parents. Sexually abused by my dad at five. Never saw him since. "Raised" by bordeline narcissist mom. Why the therapists ignore that…? Feel lonely on this planet.

Why are so many people claiming Multiple personality disorder is narcissistic i highly doubt everyone who has mpd is a narcissit it MIGHT stem from the same source but why are so many people claiming its practically the same thing when the two are completely different from one another?

The Last sentence was the best…A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T DRAG YOU DOWN BUT HELPS YOU BECOME A BETTER PERSON

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