narcissist videos

How to Help Your Child Cope With a Narcissistic Co-Parent or Grandparent



If you have (or know) a child who has a narcissistic parent or grandparent, you may be asking yourself how you can help them cope and what you can do to …

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22 Comments

  • Deanna K.S.

    My kids are pretty much adults, but my biggest fear is that they would be turned against me by my ex. This happened in his family although his mother is quite different from me. I can't help but think that he will use anything he can to make me look negative in their eyes. (He has already tried). I cannot wait for you to address this in your next video. Thank you Angie!!

  • Happy Cali Mama

    I'm dealing with this now it's heart breaking. My 3 year old son cries and says he doesn't want to go on visits, he's having such a hard time and there's nothing I can do about it since the coparent has legal rights, he also sends me long accusatory e-mails saying how he's a victim and the reason his son cries about visits is because of me, I'm scared to challenge him in court in case he gets even more visitation granted, he tells me he's keeping a record against me. It's been complete hell dealing with his craziness. I've taken the high road and just focused on my relationship with my son, but it just seems so unfair that we both have to suffer so much because of his fathers craziness. I never had a relationship with him either, we were together one time, he pays no child support and doesn't work. Any advice Angie or anyone? I just want to live a peaceful life and protect my son.

  • Rebecca Horst

    I now function as though the narcissistic abusers do not exist other than having made sure that they have access to information resources concerning any joint decisions. They have to take the initiative to utilize those resources. I will no longer accept blame based on not having done the footwork for them. I avoid any conduits for abuse. At this time I no longer set up any activities that will result in mutual contact. I think that each stage of development and grade of school new angles have to be pursued depending on the flexibility of school officials. I will soon be asking for a separate parent meeting with the teacher. I no longer make these requests in advance and will not fight for what I need. The reason is that sometimes one is dealing with the abuse history or broken family history of the school staff or faculty and they will project their experiences with their parents on you. That creates a triangulated conflict that has nothing to do with your, your child, or your parenting situation and everything to do with that individual and the help they didn't recieve. Those that pursue careers with children do so as a "calling" and sometimes that "calling" creates an emotional weight that makes it so they can't hear you. Let them hear your child. Make sure your child has their homework done. I have no control over Grandparents or Stepparents walking on campus or making deliveries of invitations or other documents to my child's classmates families. That has been a big issue over this summer… An attempt to alienate through schmoozing other parents through play dates… But you have to block that stuff out. It sucks. However, consider if you would entertain another child's parent acting in this way? The other parents who have morals and empathy will figure it out. Use honesty, strength, Angie's videos!!!!!, laughter, indulge in empathetic causes, experiences, and art forms. The same thing that helps an independent survivor get back on their feet is the same with children. Children are just like adults with less experience and smaller bodies. Volunteering, teach relaxation and coping skills, exercise, show gratitude, find out their "currency" and reward them, find out their interests and try out hobbies… The cool thing is that some of this stuff that is therapeutic for the parent is also healthy and empathy enriching education for the child. The children learn from how you handle the conflict… so absolutely do not ignore it! Otherwise, the children with mirror it. If Grandma is flipping you off like a limber-jack at exchanges…sure it's easy to laugh. Let them know it is absolutely uncalled for. Do not engage in it or retaliate, even privately. Show your child maturity and treat the behavior for what it is, immoral childish ignorance. Otherwise, your child will tell the story in their own comical way and not all adults find a tiny child flipping them off to tell a true story very amusing. If you can't explain why it isn't OK and having a hard time with worry about devaluing and minimizing an abuser for hideous behavior who you also have to make abundantly clear you have no intention of alienating because they are likely heavily involved in alienating you and your child already has that figured out and disrespects it…so if you do it they will no longer look up to you either… If you can't do that because it is so complicated, find your child a support group separate from you with an adult they can confide it. It is more "letting go" than a parent would like, but if the alternative to letting go is making a child an extension of yourself then letting them go to someone else puts a whole lot of trust in your child. They won't feel like they are afraid to share and they have your blessing. It also helps them when they can bond with a mentor rather than you as the parent having that 1 on 1 time divulging concerns. You aren't the middle man. Then you can start releasing this stuff you can do absolutely nothing about in the present. You still have to be a parent and teach truth and set limits, but when you show them you trust them and let them go out in the world and interact it will make your relationship even stronger…and your kids can't be isolated when they have (think they have) created their own support system.

  • amy toellner

    Hi Angie! I would like to tell you a little more about our situation with our adult son and the narcissistic gmother, but don't want to go into details publicly. Is there a way to get in touch with you privately? There are a few things I'd be interested in getting your opinion on concerning this issue! Thanks!

  • Adriane Aytch

    THANK YOU SO MUCH ANGIE😊!!! I appreciate this. You God sent to my life and others. I will use this video to help my kids deal with Narcissistic husband. My husband’s Narcissistic mother my kids Grandmother and my husband’s Narcissistic sisters. I will awaiting your Next Video on this Subject because my 16 year old daughter has been hostile towards me and hurtful with the stuff she saids to me. From the manipulation her grandmother and aunts have been doing overtime. I work with she starts to come back to her sweet self and then she’ll go back around them and all of that comes undone. I decided their will be no contact with grandmother and aunts from now on. I have been wanting to go no contact with his Narcissistic family for good. Too much to deal with when I have to deal with Narcissistic husband. So I instructed my kids no more answering calls,text messages and visits. Thanks again Angie. LOVE YOU❤️ APPRECIATE YOU🙏🏼😊.

  • This is for us

    The mother of my child’s mom and my mother are narcissists I’m empathetic but now I’m figuring all this out now I didn’t understand what the science behind all of it was but now that I’m learning I’ve finally put my foot down and it’s hard as hell its been 4 months since I’ve seen my baby !!! And we’re going to court because she wouldn’t follow the visitation agreement got booted to my parents and I’m finding it difficult to deal with all this

  • Nicole Kalil

    Thanks for the video. What about a scenario when the older sibling is the narcissistic abuser and the mother is also narcissistic and emotionally abusive? Even when the sibling is physically abusive and both parents tell me not to call police. Then mom says to me that I belong and this is my home. I feel obligated to stay in this toxic place because I love my parents… it's been bad for years…

  • Nikkita Padgett

    Perfect timing Angie….. I decided that , since they are my biological grandchildren and not his ; he has lost his privilege of being a part of their lives . They are still young enough to get over him , I refuse to let him ruin my babies in any way , shape , fashion or form and he did a good job of hiding that side of himself from my grandchildren . I will stay no contact that's best !!!!!

  • Allison Wonderland

    My teen son has chosen to go live with my covert narc mom-he was already being severely manipulative up to this point, I've done counseling, help from the school you name it. I n the end having no rules and material things trumped maternal love for him.

  • yanitza Rodriguez-A.

    Thanks so much I'm gonna show this to my dad cuz he is and does everything you say a parent should do I have a very good relationship with him because he is so loving and understanding and patient I trust him and I'm not scared to tell him my secrets or ask for his help I want to show this to him and another video you posted cuz it would explain alot of things about my mom thx so much

  • Tina G

    Thank you, Angie, for sharing your messages through your videos.  I can see, hear, and feel your pain talking about the narcissist topic.  I'm proud of you for rising above your abusive/toxic childhood.  Hugs!

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