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Healing the Mother Wound through Self-Love and Understanding



Do you feel abandoned, alone, and detached from the self and the world? Have you experienced rejection from your mother or mother figure? Has you family been plagued by the unspoken resentments of female energies?

The mother wound occurs, when for some reason, the necessary bond needed to allow for us to form healthy self opinions, as well as develop trust for others, has been interrupted. When we are unable to acquire the necessary bond, we can develop insecure attachments, dependencies, become avoidant, suffer from anxiety, addiction, depression, and self-alienation.

Some mother wounds are passed down through the generations and are the result of suppressed resentment, anger, or frustration. As women have struggled to gain the right to have an identity separate from raising families, along the way, many have fallen victim to their own feelings of ambivalence. When mothers resent their children or resent the sacrifices made for them, bonds are corrupted. Children then internalize these messages and falsely believe they are the reason for their mother’s inability to love and nurture them.

We can break the cycle by learning to be honest about what we feel, what we struggle with, and what we need. As a society, we must offer parents the absolute help they need to be able to BE the nurturer, protector, and champion their children need. The most powerful influence in a child’s life will hinge on the quality of their maternal relationships.

Children of narcissistic parents, who are now suffering from codependency symptoms, may be struggling to learn how to love themselves after narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to attract people pleasers, or codependent personalities. Because codependents are eager to please, because they seek outside validation, they are easy targets for narcissistic lovers, and friends.

It is not easy to learn how to love yourself after narcissistic abuse, but with the right codependency recovery tools, it is possible. It is even possible to find love after codependency.

Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in codependency, narcissistic abuse, and teaching self-actualization through personal development online programs, lectures, and speaking engagements.

Her books are;
The Road Back To Me
My Road Beyond The Codependent Divorce
Codependent Now What? It’s Not You-It’s Your Programming
Loving the Self Affirmations 1 & 2
Quantum Tools To Help You Heal Your Life Now

To learn more about Lisa A. Romano please visit
https://www.lisaaromano.com

To join Lisa’s Membership Site and to gain access to a variety of her programs visit
https://bit.ly/2DNCHVz

To purchase and immediately use Lisa’s Loving the Self Online Program visit
https://bit.ly/2Se0nq4

To join Lisa’s Facebook Community
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adult…

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/lisaaromano/

Register for the next 12 Week Online Healing Coaching Program
https://www.lisaaromano.com/12wbcp

#motherwound #innerchild #spiritualawakening

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35 Comments

  • heather huntsman

    yeah, if someone ever feels alone , we all or at least lots of us so understand, and that it is not our fault, that shame of being a mom and not knowing what was going on. The rage ! omg the worst . Lisa is a dream. I have learned so much. I am a mom of four. It all worked out. 🙂 xoxo Peace, Namaste

  • Ana Davila

    I don’t know how to love the self Lisa, in theory I understand, but in practice I only feel disgust and rejection towards myself, I know it’s sad, but I guess it’s possible to heal like you say, so .. “what” can I do, precisely? .. are there any steps that I can take to change my self-aversion and anger and everything negative that’s happening to me? How can I heal? .. for good .. thank you 🙏 (I had violent parents, my mother opened her mouth and something snapped inside my father, who would just stand up and discharge all of the wrath her tone of voice had just inspired him, on me, using his belt .. I was in constant terror .. I learned to really hate myself .. and feel guilty for hating my parents for hitting me ..) I still don’t know how to love myself .. and I still hate my mother so much .. I’m stuck .. thank you for your videos 💕

  • Stacey White

    Oh Lisa thank you thank you thank you. This is completely my experience and it hurts so bad. I love my codependent covert narcissist mother but have no connection with her. I’m 59 and she’s 79 and I still feel like a broken hearted little girl. Your work is priceless. Thank you

  • JoyceAnne Testa

    thank you Lisa. That was so heartwarming for me to hear! been suffering all my life with the angry, non supportive mean mom- questioned always why, so angry with me. Yes, it hurts- I related so much with the mother holiday cards- I would get anxiety reading the wonderful sayings that were not true in my relationship- I always questioned that I don't Love her- and I do feel guilty when I say that, however, I can not love someone who treated me so cruel- throughout my life- i guess its too painful? She is 88 years old- still verbally abusing me. I didn't speak to her since last August 2019 after my dad passed- felt good not to have to listen to her negative voice, however again- felt that on Mothers day to send her some candy. I dabbled back n forth, feeling that if I do send her something- it is showing her to keep abusing me verbally. Though, I felt I wanted to try to do the right thing because she is old and kind of what my brother wanted me to do to keep peace- I did what I thought at the moment- She left a message, thanking me and telling me that I am her daughter and She loved me and was sorry- I do get sick (anxiety)though when I hear that- Its like I don't want to hear that she loves me. and I want to leave it like that- can anyone else relate, I feel so much guilt n shame, I am an Al anon and coda member of 12 step programs though I tend to take long vacations from the programs when I get in a slump-

  • Dizzystar575

    Thank you so much love your work, i needed to hear this. Lost my mother 4 years was codependent was severally depressed, she wasn’t perfect but i loved her mucho. I wish was here an was healing along with me

  • Megan Watson

    I initially started listening to this because of the guilt (and complete regret) I feel for leaving my two daughters when they were just 13 and 15. Wow! There are a lot of points that struck nerves with me. Both on how my actions have hurt my daughters, how my mother's actions have hurt me and how my grandmother's actions hurt my mother.
    Both my grandmother and my mother have passed away now and I don't imagine I'll be too much longer in this world but I absolutely and honestly hope my daughters heal and even though my actions say otherwise, I love and miss them every minute of every day.

  • Karen Turner

    Lisa, you are an amazing women! So many things you said I sat and shared with my daughters once I woke up….I owned my responsibility and lack of awareness during their upbringing, apologized, allowed them to share their experience and feelings when they were children and hoped some day they could forgive me. I get our family of origins were unaware and just repeated cycles and thank goodness I have stopped the cycle. But when your own mother beats/punches you down to the floor while telling you to stand up and fight, I find it hard to believe that she is unaware of her behavior and thinks/feels it is normal, ok and acceptable. I didn't deserve the abuse I received and have accepted it for what it was, but I haven't accepted that she didn't know right from wrong and it is very hard to have compassion for her or others like her. And to make matters worse, she still believes almost 40 years later that it was ok and said I deserved it. She wasn't a Mother, she was a slave owner.

  • Dharma Kitty

    I struggle because I screwed up badly with my daughter, but I realized it, repented and changed my behavior. She is coming around very slowly (she is 20), but I know we will never be as close as we could have been and it upsets me so much. 😢

  • Victor G

    Lisa. You are a blessing from heaven. I feel like you watched a video of my entire childhood. Thank you so much. As a father this could help many men dealing with a mother who displays narcissist behavior. Thank you so much!

  • Rita T

    So glad I watched this today it has brought through my understanding of how I feel.
    I felt so much for so long Lisa, then one day when I confronted my mother only for her to deny it and made me feel like I was imagining the whole thing.
    She passed away in June 2017 I never had the chance to tell her how I felt. I realised that she didn’t know what was the consequences of her actions and the ripple effect that it caused.
    You’re right “not her fault” I understand being a mother myself I also made mistakes and it’s hard work especially if you’re always connecting to toxic people & environments. I don’t go to cemetery although my sisters still ask me to come.. I’m done pretending that everything was perfect and I’ve told them.
    I forgave her and myself now.. I’m healing always day by day. Thank you for being you ❤️ blessings 🙏🏽

  • America Bless God

    I wish you were more open minded and not closed to the holy Bible. There is no feminine in God nor in man. Whoever is telling you about this "divine self or energy or feminine" is deceiving you. The truth is the Bible. That's the only thing that will set you free. You don't need lies. Illusions by false prophets (wolves in sheep's clothing) only hinders your TRUE inner spiritual healing.

    There is no "spiritual journey" without the Jesus of the Bible. Paul said be careful for false gospels and false Christs. It's a lie from Satan.

    You need the Jesus from the Bible, not from these New Age false prophets coming in his name with pseudoscience and lying answers. Truth in love.

  • lynn dawson

    my mother lost her abusive partner of 30 years ' she got my 19 year old daughter to move in with her now she is abusing her ' my daughter is beginning to loath herself because of the constant put downs ' my mum blames everyone else for her unhappiness. i feel powerless shes destroying my daughters self esteem. im trying to get my daughter out her house but she feels sorry for her and doesnt relalise that they way shes being spoken to is bringing her down. its like my mum really hates anyone being happy' shes the most bitter person iv ever known.

  • Teacher Susan

    I can relate sooo much. Holding my 6weeks old son in my arms I thought: I‘ve got to look after this human for the next 20 years!
    I almost panicked 😁😁😁
    Thankfully I left my narc husband and was a single mum, got help and we had a great family life! They turned out alright – but, still, there were times I just didn‘t have the energy to be a good parent …😳

  • Starr Shakur

    The parent needs to take the 1st step though.. even if the child goes no contact if the parent just accepts it and doesn’t try harder then they feel like the parent doesn’t care n they go no contact thinking the parents are happier without them

  • Starr Shakur

    Parents use their kids behavior as an excuse to slack on making the real effort when they are who created their child n are supposed 2 be the bigger person not all in their feelings.. being a parent is being selfless

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