Hannah, Luke clash during 'Men Tell All' special
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Hannah, Luke clash during ‘Men Tell All’ special

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“The Bachelorette” Hannah Brown made a shocking decision after a rough hometown date with Jed.
USA TODAY

Ah, yes, the “Men Tell All” episode of “The Bachelorette” is finally here – but with a twist. Considering all the havoc Luke wrought this season, it’s only fitting he takes up the bulk of the reunion special.

Before we dive into that drama, though, we get a glimpse of what goes down at the fantasy suite week rose ceremony in Greece (with accompanying reactions/gasps from a studio audience watching the footage).

There are two roses on the table, and Jed, Peter and Tyler have no clue that Luke was already sent home.

“I’m so glad Luke is finally gone and I never have to see him again,” Hannah says. But as we know from the teaser for this week, Luke isn’t gone. He thinks Hannah is making a big mistake – so big that he has a ring in his pocket.

He joins his fellow contestants, and once Hannah arrives he heads toward her to talk. She asks him to leave, but he’s not going anywhere until he has closure. (How much more closure do you need, buddy?) 

Considering all the havoc Luke Parker wrought on the show this season, it’s only fitting he would take up the bulk of the reunion special. (Photo: Craig Sjodin, ABC)

Hannah physically moves the stand with the roses toward the other men and he still hasn’t gotten the way-more-than-a-hint. The other three start toward him, and host Chris Harrison shows up as the tension mounts.

She recaps for the men what Luke said about her sex life: that he would leave if she had sex with other people. He again tries to walk back his words: “Never have I ever condemned or judged you, ever,” he says. 

Hannah explains she hasn’t cried and there hasn’t been one part of her that has had any regret from what she’s done. He (finally!) leaves after she tells him she has no feelings for him.

It’s only then that Harrison tells her that Luke was ready to propose.

And with that, we head to “Men Tell All.” Luke is up first.

Not shocking: ‘Bachelorette’ contestants defend Jed Wyatt over cheating allegations: ‘Jed was super’

Luke is, well, still Luke

Luke receives tepid applause from the studio audience (though everyone at home is probably outright screaming at their TVs). Harrison starts chatting him up, and Luke takes an awkwardly long time to answer each question. It makes sense he’d be methodical given Bachelor Nation’s distaste for him, but it doesn’t mean it’s enjoyable to watch.

He opens up and says he struggled with pride and arrogance on the show. Harrison asks whether Hannah was right: Was he a narcissist? Luke thinks that is pushing it too far. (OK, sure.) He says he still loves her and wants what’s best for her but knows that she’s not his person. You think?

“If I could go back I wouldn’t change a thing,” Luke tells Harrison, which he unsurprisingly walks back after a commercial break. He says that obviously he would change a lot, but is thankful for the opportunity to grow and learn.

The audience further cringes when Luke says he felt like he was on a rescue mission for Hannah, then clarifies it was to save her from the other guys.

Contestant Devin interrupts the chat and tells Luke that he’s the kind of man who wants to control a woman so he can feel better about himself.

“The last thing that I want and the last thing I’ll ever do is control a woman,” Luke says, as the camera cuts to a woman in the audience rolling her eyes. He says he wants an independent woman for his wife but that a man is supposed to lead and guide a woman in the relationship. We are not making this up.

Um: ‘Bachelorette’ finalist Tyler Cameron to appear in court after car crash

Mike calls Luke a ‘narcissistic, cantankerous misogynist’

Eliminated contestants Ryan, Daron, Brian, Matt Donald, Matteo, Cam, Devin, Dustin, Grant, Jonathan, John Paul Jones, Luke S., Dylan, Connor S., Garrett and Mike join the episode, and they let Luke have it.

Mike calls him a “narcissistic, cantankerous misogynist. I think that your future wife is gonna be a prisoner of you if you don’t learn how to change.”

Connor S. says he respects Luke for being there because he’s about to step into a firestorm, but doesn’t hold back in calling him a liar and a psychopath.

Grant says Luke owes a big apology to Jed, Peter and Tyler for how he handled the last rose ceremony. Cam is just thankful because Luke is making him look like a saint. (Fair enough.)

Matteo tries sticking up for Luke, saying he’s already been punished for his actions. This is maybe the most screen time Matteo has gotten.

In case you (somehow) missed: Hannah and Luke have a heated confrontation about sex

Hannah, Luke clash again

Hannah says her feelings for Luke were real and the closest thing to love at first sight, but that she thinks a lot of that came from being insecure about being the titular “Bachelorette” in the first place.

Luke says he’s sorry he made the process so difficult, but Hannah doesn’t let him off the pride hook yet: She says it wasn’t his business to ask about her sex life, and that she felt her faith was weaponized.

“I’m so over being slut-shamed and being felt like that makes me not a woman of faith,” she says. We see women in the audience wearing “Jesus still loves me” shirts with windmills on them! Luke walks out of the special before it’s over.

Hannah says that maybe her experience can help someone else who is in a toxic relationship to see the signs. She apologizes to Bachelor Nation for the Luke mess and for him being on our TVs “way longer than really any of us ever desired.” 

“The Luke P. show is canceled,” she says, and we can’t help but shed a happy tear.

Not cool, everyone: ‘Bachelorette’ Hannah Brown reacts to being ‘slut-shamed’ on the show: ‘It’s just not OK’

In other ‘Bachelorette’ news: Sarah Hyland is engaged to ‘Bachelorette’ alum Wells Adams after meeting on social media

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