narcissist videos

Favorite Person & Borderline Personality Disorder

Please watch: “How You Can Control Your Emotions with Dr. Fox – Affective Regulation” –~–
This video will discuss the concept of BPD favorite person, differentiate it from a best friend, identify the 4 relationship types, and discuss 5 treatment techniques you can use to help you manage the concept of favorite person.

Disclaimer: favorite person is not always a pathological construct and tends to be very personal, but it can add to issues and problems based upon who the favorite person is (in my clinical experience). This video is meant to help and never to criticize or hurt in anyway. I know this is a sensitive topic and I treat it as such in the video.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders:

Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner):

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children:

The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD –COMING SOON–

Dr. Fox has been teaching and supervising students for over 15 years at various universities across the United States, some of which include West Virginia University, Texas A&M University, University of Houston, Sam Houston State University, and Florida State University. He is currently a staff psychologist in the federal prison system, Adjunct Assistant Professor at University of Houston, as well as maintaining a private practice that specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with complex psychopathology and personality disorders.

Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (

Dr. Fox’s website:

Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.



  • william rose

    This one hit me right in the gut :/ I have BPD co-occurring w/ Bipolar II, marked emotional dysregulation, severe ADHD (mixed type) and complex PTSD (non combat-related). I feel like WWIII is raging in my head and heart 24/7 – I sleep ~3-4 hours a night, but never straight thru. Chronically fatigued and ambivalent towards most things. I also have Substance Abuse Disorder, which was what initially what brought me in for IOP therapy / MAT. I received my (proper) diagnoses after years and years of hearing I was just cyclothymic and overly sensitive to external stimuli. Been in weekly therapy with a properly certified therapist specializing in co-morbid disorders / addiction therapy for the last 18 months. I hit 2 years clean yesterday, but my battle now lies not with drug and drink, but within my own mind. I hate myself – have since I can remember. Didn't help growing up in a home with a mother who suffers from NPD (undiagnosed bc she refuses to attend counseling, of course). Didn't even realize the level of traumatic neglect / emotional abuse / manipulation I was subjected to until about 12 months ago. Now, I can say I'm making progress, albeit very very slowly. Most days, I feel like giving up and that simply going to sleep and never awaking would be the greatest of blessings – but then I remember my daughter who relies 100% on me and needs me to recover. By God's good grace, I have a loving, committed fiancee that helps me raise my daughter and reshape my unhealthy thought processes and self-image. Yet, I'm at the point where I genuinely feel I'll never be 100% again…like the person I truly am will never be discovered or even missed. The battle of the mind is honestly the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with – even beats out IV heroin X cocaine acute withdrawals for level of suckiness. I will say that these days, I have a glimmer of hope whereas before treatment and sobriety, I had zero. Progress not perfection though I suppose. I have made major improvements in controlling my emotions this past year – hoping this next year will bring even more improvements, particularly in recognizing when I'm splitting and training myself to understand 99.9% of life falls within the grey, not the black & white. Recover is possible – though it often can seem just out of reach. Like a carrot stringed to a stick.

  • Judith Robson

    This isn't fair. My emotional intensity idles at a 7 no matter what. There's no 3 no 2.5 "just chillin" it doesn't matter which emotion, either. In fact I have to cling to apathy to even maneuver thru the world. Plus, what are the chances that my favorite person gaslights, manipulates, and abandons me for entertainment? (Even left for five years n returned only to steal.. n then later smear me like a typical narc)
    I'd like to be my own favorite person. And atm the last few videos I've watched, contained so much truth, I truly don't wanna exist. Not if I'm this fucking damaged. It's exhausting to jump from wanting a workbook to the only solution is eating a bullet. I wish someone once took the time to tell me "it's ok to hurt" yay on to the next video and prolly 6 hours of disassociation

  • Zee

    He is spot on with empowerment. Going to the gym regularly, after not hitting it and working out at home, gave me much more of a feeling of empowerment, not because of better toning, as I had alternative equipment at home but because the getting ready and going their on my own made me feel happy with myself, like I had achieved something that day all by myself 🙂 didnt need my missing part in that time.Altho it felt I did for first week ha

  • Gabbie Parry

    I really wish I was able to do therapy with you, I've watched so many of your videos and I feel like you really understand. I can't find a good therapist in my area which I can connect with! Your clients are so lucky 🍀

  • Phana Garcia

    @Dr. Daniel Fox @Dr. Daniel Fox
    I have BPD along with other disorders that comes with BPD itself depression, PTSD, severe anxiety, eating disorder and just other lil things that comes with it i'm pretty sure you know what it is. I have been in therapy every since i was young, middle school age, up until i reached the age limit of where therapy usually ends for adults 21, been hospitalized many times so much they had the chance to evaluate me and diagnosed me with BPD during my hospitalization times while going into my young adult life im 22 now going to turn 23 in February, learning about BPD and hearing it in different ways causes me to feel bad about myself and i tend to get very anxious, my hearts race while watching the video and i tend to feel really, really shallow in the middle of my chest and alot of pain in my heart. I really felt like treatment did help me manage my PTSD alot, learning coping skills for all my disorders. There's a couple things i feel like i cannot seem to get over no matter how hard i try and all the effort i put into it is getting over my abandonment issues and feeling extremely empty and shallow in the middle of my chest along with feeling pain in my heart that comes and go so often, what the steps to overcoming these feelings i have?? The feeling is so unbearable to me i do not want to turn to doing negative things to my body in order to release the pain and not feel empty/nothing at the same time, causing pain to myself exactly on the skin on top of my heart and feeling the burn of the cut tends to calm me & relaxes me. I feel like there is no other option for me but i really do want to find a different outcome and overcome these 2 main feelings i just explained in details so i can do something different about it.

  • Samina Yaghouty

    I do test others sometimes though not to the extreme and I get the sense of distorted others at times specially at the beginning of a relationship. Rarely I feel the roller coaster type of emotions. Is it normal to feel those for people without BPD?

  • MissRafferty

    I haven't been able to afford insurance or paying for therapy out of pocket, so I haven't been able to get help and I can't say I have BPD. I have every single symptom, but I realize that they could be parts of other illnesses and it's important to talk to a qualified person and let them figure it out. Regardless, your videos describe my thoughts, feelings, and actions to a T and they're so helpful. You explain things so well and in a caring manner and without judgment, unlike so many others, and you're so calming. You give me hope. I'm trying to figure out how I can get into consistent therapy, get whatever I have diagnosed, then begin proper treatment for it. Thank you for giving me hope.

  • kenza abdi

    This video is incredibly eye opening and the strategies you offered are very helpful. I tried the transitional object last night and it was an astonishing success. It put me on a much calmer, more centered level, mentally. thank you

  • Padmaj Rane

    Is there a cure? I understand the word cure can't be taken into consideration as recovery is possible, but can anyone tell me after recovery should i worry about relapse… Is it possible to treat borderline personality disorder completely..

  • Sara Elizabeth Huffman

    I really need these techniques. I’ve asked various therapists how I can stop doing some of these behaviors and they either try to tell me I simply shouldn’t care about my FP or just trust them more. I’ve lost so many people because of this, which has only worsened my depression. I recently had my FP tell me he was moving and I just broke down. In my mind, he was saying that so I would leave him alone, because he doesn’t care. I was trying so hard not to split and thankfully we were able to communicate what was going on inside my head and though it was still painful I didn’t snap or do something I regretted.

  • Minnie Viper

    I didn't know this was a common symptom with BPD because it's so odd sounding and doesn't even make sense to me. I happened to be wondering about if there were subtypes of "Fave People" the other day and luckily came across this video and god why did i think of a person or 2 for each of these categories

  • Nyx

    My FP always has to be a man. I feel like I don't even exist without male attention (at least when it's coming from someone I really like). Often it has some romantic sense to it. I just went through a painful breakup, he was the love of my life and without question, my undeniable FP. Now that he's gone, we occasionally meet, and when we do and the "meeting" ends, I feel like I'm lost completely. In between us seeing, I search for something else. Even a little bit of flirtation etc, even though I'm in love with my ex and nobody compares, I don't even want to have someone else as a partner! And when it's not reciprocated or that thing/flirtation/whatever ends somehow, I feel empty again, like I'm alone in this universe. I hate this. I cannot live like this anymore. Anyone with the same issue?

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