Eight Lies The Narcissist Wants You To Believe

As you engage with a narcissist, you quickly realize that person has an agenda for you. What’s worse, the agenda is built upon false assumptions about who you are supposed to be. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter exposes eight of the most common lies narcissists can feed you, with the hope that you can break free from their domineering ways.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and psychotherapist with 38 years experience, and maintains a practice near Dallas, Tx. He has conducted many workshops and over 60,000 counseling sessions.

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Comments (39)

If you are feeling pain from someone you love/loved and are examining yourself to figure out what you did wrong, you are probably not a narcissist. Narcissists don't examine their own behavior. They aren't self aware. Also, I don't think they actually feel agony over lost love. They seem indifferent to those they once seemed to cherish. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

Such good info – insight. I’m not crazy!

What scares me is that I've been damaged by a narcissistic wife and had no clue what was happening until i found this area of YouTube 10 years and two kids later.

I mean I've literally been loosing my mind because it constant turmoil… constant drama that I didn't understand and I always thought it was something I wasn't doing right.

It's to the point that if I was ever to consider dating again I have no faith in my ability to choose a good woman because how did I not have the confidence, intelligence, and courage to not allow myself to be abused.

So true! I love these videos because they let me know I wasn't wrong. I finally left after 30 plus years. Every thought I had before making a decision was, will this make narc mad? Not, was it something I wanted to do. I have a lot of self work to do but listening to these videos gives me hope!

Wow I actually heard him say I'm good for his ego lol

💯 percent correct you are….. It’s all so familiar to me. Thank you for sharing this.

I had to put photos of me at all ages around and learn to love that little girl and that beautiful woman. She is me and I love me. The damage from being raised by 2 narcissists can’t even be put in words. If you can, RUN. They will not and cannot change.

I think Doctor Le Carter means fears that are carried within unconscious processes . Those are present in every single being .

I feel to say to public about concept showed here being not applicable universally . Constructed not-self believe projected onto others based on fear and time . This concept would apply to anyone . The basis for this judgement (“you are narcissist”) is in what one wants from the other . Such is not quantify-able therefore the question goes into “what I want from my self” . The unconscious self is where program is so is the seeking of connection with. With respect to Dr. Les Carter’s work

They are poisonous little reptiles

I get blamed for everything. If they do something and it don't come out like it supposed to It's my fault. Nothing is never their fault and will not never admit it. It took me 47 years to realize this is what it is….🤦😌….

Oh Lord…You just spoke this gospel truth. I can't tell you how many times I've been told told I'm making my mama life miserable or my day said it to me…. I've been called every name in the book. Lord thank you for this. This has helped me better than any other… The last thing you said bout can't reason with a unreasonable person. I wanted to holla.. That's them.!!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️💯💯💯💯💯

When I would get sick, the narcs in my life would accuse me of faking and trying to manipulate them even though I had medical tests and obvious symptoms proving I was sick.

This has helped me a lot to understand a narcissist in my life, thank you so much.

Keep your expectations low. Best comment ever

What is worse? The narcissist lies? Or those who believe them?

Children engage in reactive lying. Narcissist engage in strategic lying.

My husband recently earned a percentage on property a woman bought. My husband had only introduced her to a property salesman. The woman later found out that he got a cut and was very angry with him as she saw him as a family friend. My husband's response shocked me. He displayed an inflated sense of entitlement. His confidence was unappealing. He had it in mind to call her and argue with her why she shouldn't have those feelings. With the utmost confidence he called her. His goal was to intimate and shut her down. In the end, he tired her out and she was the first to throw in the towel and hang up. Recently my husband met his match and I silently basked and glorified in it.

But what if their lies are mixed with some truth when putting you down 😥. Then you feel tottally disfunctional, because you believe some of the trauma trigger they twist into as out of proportion, with self blame and guilt, and even moreso that they believe that, and cant explain your point.

When I told him we have to be like equals.. he says "Equals?!" ..
He litterally, said things like "You owe me"…
Lacking empathy or understanding another persons view or feelings… yes,
but how do I know if he actually was one if it isnt diagnosed… especially nearly all the 'symptoms' when I look back were there… I mean I dont want slap labels on people, but he seemed emotionally detatched the "smart/right one" generally, and it wasnt easy to see reason or put my voice across to be understood… (except somewhat in the so called 'lovebombing' stage) I just feel so confused if this was all misunderstandings and me judging somewhat harshly, or I was dealing with a fullblown mindwarping covert narcissist … I keep on feeling the great need to go back and get closure, because there was 'dramatic no closure confusing exit', but the other half of me doesnt let me because what if and he does match quite abit of the behaviors of a narcisssist and this might only make things worse, its just gone all so confusing and painful and sudden etc among many other factors… that I owe it to myself somehow to make this easier and get some clarity and closure … its driving me crazy, is it -painful crazy breakup/clash/misunderstanding vs dealing with a covert narcissist… ??? Which one is it 🤷‍♀️

You and I are going to get along just fine LMFAO!!



Wow…just crazy to realize after 20yrs and 2 kids Ive been dealing with a Narc🤨 i excaped a very abusive relationship i was in for 6yrs and 2 kids… right before i met my Narc…i just cant believe my luck with men😣…I dont regret my kids! They are great ppl and have been my saving grace. Im blessed as far as thats concerned

"What chilled and almost cowed him was the union of malice with something nearly childish. For temptation, for blasphemy, for a whole battery of horrors, he was in some sort prepared: but hardly for this petty, indefatigable nagging as of a nasty little boy at a preparatory school. Indeed no imagined horror could have surpassed the sense which grew within him as the slow hours passed, that this creature was, by all human standards, inside out – its heart on the surface and its shallowness at the heart. On the surface, great designs and an antagonism to Heaven which involved the fate of worlds: but deep within, when every veil had been pierced, was there, after all, nothing but a black puerility, an aimless empty spitefulness content to sate itself with the tiniest cruelties, as love does not disdain the smallest kindness?"
-C.S. Lewis, Perelandra or The Voyage to Venus

“In northwest Alaska, kunlangeta "might be applied to a man who, for example, repeatedly lies and cheats and steals things and does not go hunting, and, when the other men are out of the village, takes sexual advantage of many women." The Inuits tacitly assume that kunlangeta is irremediable. And so, according to Murphy, the traditional Inuit approach to such a man was to insist he go hunting, and then, in the absence of witnesses, push him off the edge of the ice.”
― Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door

Do you think that narcissists cheat ?

How do i know wether I am the narcissist or he ?

This is brilliant information! If it wasn’t so serious a matter , it would be funny ! The way the narcissists think …. it’s just unbelievable! They take no responsibility and don’t care one bit ! The arrogance is ridiculous 😤

You are presenting so many insights into my 96 yr old mother. Now that she’s starting to forget some things, my sister and I can say, “ Oh, you have me confused with someone else, I’m sure.”

My ex used to say way to often… "you're trying to kill me!!!!! Why are you trying to kill me????" It used to break my brain! I would stare at him blinking thinking…. "there are dirty dishes in the sink…How is that killing you???"

Doc. I like your videos. Look directly at the camera. Because you are talking to you script.😏

I love to try to guess these before watching the video. It validates my experiences. 🙂
1) They are perfect 2) You are an idiot if you do not think so 3) You need to worship the facade they have created without question 4) your reality needs to come directly from them 5) you and your feelings, thoughts, etc. do not matter 6) you do not exist except to serve them 7) you are inferior to them in every conceivable way and must be reminded

Thank you! I especially like the last minute of this speech; You can’t reason with an unreasonable person and the beginning of unreasonableness is they don’t accept truth

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