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DAY 23 The narcissist takes advantage of others (30 DAYS OF NARCISSISM) – Dr. Ramani Durvasula



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41 Comments

  • Ann Harrison

    Despite blocking my narc. daughter on f/book, mobiles' etc. On Mothers day a f/book page popped up, supposedly from my g/daughter. she was praising her mum, and her (now deceased) other g/mother saying how she missed her. I wasn't even mentioned!!! I have now gone no contact! Fortunately. I had gone out for the day, so did not notice it until the next day. This was meant to rile me, instead. I sent a picture postcard of where I had been.

  • J & R Cameron

    I did a big houseclean over the past few years- ended relationships with all those folks that loved to take advantage of and exploit my kindness. It was hard to do, and I did grieve a few necessary losses, but it was soooooo worth it. I am less likely to help out folks now out of fear that giving an inch will signal to them that I am a good target for exploitation. Hopefully the pendulum will eventually land in the middle… so that I can learn who to trust and under what conditions, with the objective of not being used by others. I felt stupid to have been such a sucker. Narcs just use folks up and then discard them- they truly do not care about anyone other than themselves. They are greedy and selfish. There seems to be more narcs now than ever before… a sad commentary on our society.

  • Cynically Hopeful

    This is the biggest thing with my narcissistic sister. I can't even count on one hand how many times she's genuinely wanted to know how I'm doing. In decades. Every conversation is her needing something. The only reason she quit asking for money is because I don't have any. So then it was free babysitting, with an entitled attitude. Now it's emotional supply. If she's being nice, it means she wants something.

    It's frustrating because I have to keep waking up to the fact that she's a narcissist, and then let go, again, of any hope of having a loving, mutual relationship with her. It's mostly because I remember the sweet little girl she was, before my narcissistic mom and family dynamics bent us around. I keep wondering if she's still in there.

    Honestly, sometimes hope can be harmful. There really are people who we have to say to "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here". And it sucks when it's your family. 😞

  • Susan Wight

    Another eye-opening, insightful and helpful video. THANK YOU Dr. Ramani. The insights you share in these videos take the confusion out of narcissist relationships, present or past. So helpful –thank you.

  • M K

    He lived in my house for over a year and paid nothing. He then said he thought I was trying to take advantage of him. In his case I believe it goes beyond NPD and I suspect he's a sociopath.

  • Linda Dawn

    Thanks for delineating the extent to which these folks will "use you"… Way back in the day when I worked for an Airline that gave us generous "buddy passes", it came as a surprise to me to experience how many people got friendly with me, particularly folks who barely had time for me before.

  • Dylan Nolan

    The worst thing about Narcs, is that it can be hard to solidify in your mind if they love you, or are trying to destroy you.
    I’ve a horrible tendency to forgive. I have had two narcs in my life, my cousin and a friend, both when they get back talking to me go through a “ honeymoon phase “, idolize me, then quickly back to the abusive shit. I never learn, all you have to do is open your arms up to me and I’ll accept it, I can’t stand to hurt someone else’s feelings..

  • StephanieJ Bradley

    oh emm geee !! the worst are these g.d. ghetto princesses (not race specific) …who aim to bully & harass everyone around them bc they think theyre at the helm of something. they setup their fam mems to have their backgrounds ruined via adrs assoctn or being present while some 'syndicated' member commits a felony. then the fam mem is stuck complying with their drug & human trafficking whereby huge %s of everyone around them are compromised & f.o.s. plus so-called authorities dont care bc of the finiancial status of those involved.

    i think above all, they value #CONTROL the most. they get really pissed when those around them exercise self-determinatio n &/or are doing well without their influence, gang, etc. they will go out of their way to F'up your promise by any big or little thing they can do or talk someone else into doing: it could be messing with the elevator, putting battery drain on your car, hiding dirty socks under your desk (tampa), i mean, they go way beyond what one may think is typical: lies, deceit, slander, etc.

    And unlike many, i donot believe they are 'possessed' of the devil. zzzhhhiit, i've met (& lived among) some unto whom i am quite sure the devil himself consults for ideas.
    #RogueReprobates

  • Mandy M

    Hi Dr Ramani, This channel is helping me beyond words & cannot thank you enough for the content you provide here. I have recently left my narc partner & still trying to understand why certain things happened during our relationship. I have 2 specific topics that I would really be keen to hear you talk speak about and get your opinion & from the community here. 1. When the narc excludes you from their social life. Why? 2. When the narc partner withholds sex & continually rejects your initiations

  • Caroline Huxtable

    Great material. I feel sick as my reality is that I have done some of these things mentioned during my 30 years of chronic alcoholism. I am 4 years into recovery and awakening to the fact that my Adopted Mother is a Narcissist. I have waited 10 months for an assessment. Funding been accepted now I'm have to wait another 10 months for the asesment. Emotionally processing this and staying sober is nearing impossible. Feel like my sanity slipping again!

  • trudi trudi

    Oh they come riding in like your Saint saviour and ride off again as the devil! The kindness, fake, the emotion, fake, the promises never held up. They beleive in nothing and stand for nothing amd will tell you anything. All BS fakery to extract whatever it is they want. It's never emotion they want, never being kind, or taking good advice etc it's always Money, houses, cars and favours. Leeches.
    When the gut feeling kicks in, just sit quietly and listen to it. It's telling you to walk away. Ignore their drama, their toxic ways. Heal yourself from them.

  • Cal EuXX

    My father is a nacissist and I see narcissistic traits in my brother also. When I look back at things that seem to be exploitative, it seems to me that the foundation for their behavior is their feeling of entitlement. In the past father presented a problem of his to me in such a way that only my actions (time, energy) could help him solve the problem, so I did what was needed, only to later learn that he lied to me about the circumstances. When I learned about it, I confronted him and he blew up furious – narcissistic rage, no remorse for lying and manipulating. So many narcissistic traits, but I think that it all boils down to the entitlement – "they deserve", other people "owe them" (usually because they only really acknowledge their own efforts in a relationship but do not acknowledge the time/effort/energy of the other person – they devalue the time/energy/effort of the other person and overinflate their own)…. in the end…. everyone owes them and they are entitled and since that is the core pathological belief, then they lie and manipulate, to get what they believe they "deserve".

  • dvinus

    i thought first she has only BPD.. so be gentle.. but the more i knew her..the more i realy listened to this person .. her victim mentality..the connections she had….and a lot of sexuall relationsships before.. and for all she had to call the police !?!
    i found it out.. was .. a narsissistic person ..a lyer.. an abuser ..perfid person.. i only sah the nice face.. but felt something was going on was not right..this experienc is still after a half year heavy for me..she left me and 2 weeks later she was living with an man.. made me depressiv struggling for live.

  • jcrnda

    Trust. It undermines trust. I invested deeply into my ex-narc and she burned all the remaining trust I had, I'll put it that way.
    And come to think of it, she had lectured me about trust that I should trust people more even without knowing if they are trustworthy.

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