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Covert/Overt Narcissist/Sociopath Emotional Manipulation-Distorting Your Words

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  • Mary Tucker

    I understand what you are saying. But I wonder, do you have any insights as to why we get 'hooked' in the first place? What might be some of the reasons that I cross the line into giving myself and my own power in the very first place? Any thoughts Peace and Harmony?

  • K Nace

    This is what is happening to me right now. I am so done! I can't take this shit any more. I am so mentally exhausted that I could collapse. Thank you Peace and Harmony! You just empowered me to finally walk away from her 😫

  • Blu

    sociopaths are just regular humans with their emotions all distorted and stuff. one emotion like empathy could be very weak, while an emotion like rage could be very high. this is do to trauma, the brain will shut off the empathy emotion to protect itself, it goes into survival mode, to survive the danger. as the sociopath grows up, he or she with a distorted emotional upbringing has a hard time understanding normal humans because their brains have shut off certain emotions because it went into survival mode. this then leads to lying and manipulating to look normal in society. this isnt really their faults at all, its just how the brain naturally functions. their brains didnt evolve the correct way like it was suppose to because of the trauma. through therapy, the brain could restructure itself. for a psychopath, its completely different, their brains were born irregular, while a sociopaths brain was born normal like everyones elses.

  • Bourbon Plays

    I'm not expecting you to reply but want to share something I'm trying to figure out.

    Unfortunately my mum is a narcissist/sociopath. It's coming up to Mother's Day again, I always get anxious around birthdays and there special days, especially my mums birthday and Mother's Day.

    I wasn't planning on seeing my mum and haven't got a card as I have not seen any of my side of the family for a long time now and my family and I are happy. My mum has invited herself to come to our home on Saturday though texting my wife asking if it's better she comes in the morning or afternoon. I have not had a text and we have not responded. I know she will turn up and that makes us feel on edge. Also I know that I should probably get a card for her as it's Mother's Day and she is very materialistic and will make me feel guilty for not getting one, which makes me feel it's not worth the argument trying to make a point and end up buying one and have my wife then ask me why I'm going to the effort of getting her a card at all, then I feel I'm just stuck between having to decide who to not upset.

    I have been through a no contact spell, I told them I can't see them because of there behaviour and how it's making us feel and we don't want them effecting our baby who is not a toddler. No contact lasted about a year until my mum and dad found where we had bought our first home by knocking on my sister in laws house and asking her directl and crying at her door. My mum and dad came round and I remember the dreaded feeling of seeing them both walking down our drive towards the front door and catching a glimpse of us through the lounge window, 'oh no, there here! There coming to the door, I don't know whether to answer it, but there just going to shout through the window if we don't'. My wife answered to door as she could see I was a bit frozen and was happy to just tell them to go away and that they are not welcome here, which is hard for me because I can imagine how hard that is to hear from their son. My wife let them in thinking that she was doing us a favour, thinking that I did really want to see them and that there might be a chance that we could make it work and have our son have a pair of grandparents hopefully. Since then they have been making uninvited random visits at weekends, we never know when they are going to turn up. If we don't tell them we are too busy or we go out for the day to avoid them and we do let them in, it's usually for way longer than we want and it leaves us feeling like we have been attacked and we feel exhausted, even if my mum seems to have been totally pleasant and fine the whole time, it's not usually until afterwards that I realise some of her comments or actions have been something that a or friend should not do or say, like backhanded compliments or hurtful comments that she always turns around and says I have taken it the wrong way, so I don't bother to pull her up on it and ask her 'why would you say that to me' just so I avoid the conflict and try to have a nice and easy visit from them that I went relatively well. We hear the same old stories over and over, or that my mum or my nan is having a awful time of some other drama. Or she will ask when I'm having my hair cut or what the doctor said about something I went for and that I'm not pushing them hard enough and I'm making her ill with worry and so on and so forth.

    That turned into a bit of a rant oops. I'm just so confused and for years my side of the family have labelled me as the unfair black sheep who's such a bad son making my mum so upset. All we want is a happy life and we don't want them to be upset, ideally we would all just get along. But I'm worried about my mum starting to target my son as he grows up, I don't want him to feel like he's being compared to and to feel inferior to start feeling inadequate or self conscious, because that's exactly how they have made my wife feel as she takes things they say more personally than I do, I wouldn't say I'm happy with be the one they blame and I'm definitely not happy when they try to blame my wife for the relationship me and my mum have. But if they want to blame me for everything and that makes them feel slightly better about themselves or they feel they can justify how they treat us by telling everybody we make them act like that, then I have come to terms with that and I'm happy to let them live that twisted reality.

    Still, for now I have not told them I wish to go no contact again and have the whole heartbreak of seeing my parents so sad that they look like they have been to my funeral, sobbing as my dad comforts my mum with his arm as they slowly walk away down the drive. Do I have to go through that again!? 🙁

    I can tell that they really want to kiss me bye but I really don't want to, so we go for a hug goodbye instead. I sense it's not enough for them and they wonder when they will see me again. But I just want them gone and I want them to not worry about me and live happily together, they have my sister. I don't want them to live out there last 20years unhappy, feeling they have failed.

    I do still love them, but it's hard. I miss how I looked up to them when I was a kid, before I realised I was dealing with a narcissist.

    Rich & family.
    29yrs, UK.

  • gorilla twist

    My oldest sister convinced me to have abortions. She made phone calls about me. She invited me to my 50th birthday party, she said she was having "for me" – I thought "WOW". When I got there she told me there was no party and that no one liked me and slammed her front door in my face. I spent years no able to speak of anything… I still have difficulties trusting anyone.

  • Vicki Holdeman

    Wow this was the most helpful video on the narcissist I have ever seen. I feel that I understand the narcissist in my life and how to not loose myself and my mind when she comes around. I feel like I have tools to better protect my mind. I like what you said about being the wall . Thank-you so much 😊

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