narcissist videos

Are You A Narcissist Magnet?

Have you ever wondered: Is there something about me that attracts narcissists? It’s possible that you may have tendencies that draw in the controlling manipulator, so awareness is of utmost importance. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter offers insights about the things that can attract narcissists to you.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 39 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars.

Books by Dr. Carter:

Laura Charanza’s book:

While Dr. Carter does not conduct online counseling, he has vetted a group who can assist:

Dr. Carter’s online workshops on narcissism, anger management, and overcoming infidelity:

Dr. Carter’s other YouTube channel:



  • Tracy Rain

    What wonderful wise advice. Wish I had known all this stuff when I was 19!

    Thanks for this video. Even though I'm older and, hopefully, wiser it's still good to hear what you've said. Best bit:

    Be. Slow. To. Commit.

    Considering the time it takes to get over relationships with narcissists, taking more time in the beginning is key. Thank you so much for this vid.

  • MYMATRIX 369

    Dark is right. It comes out when they think they have you convinced. Yes I had a family of them and let them rule…not anymore and Ive quit trying to fix them. I was feeling guilty about sticking up for myself not anymore.😉Thanxxx Dr. C

  • Isabel Espinosa

    The biggest red flag that I should have seen and Dr. Les Carter mentions, the narcissist trying to get you to commit and settle down very very quickly. They make it seem as if you should be flattered and you are that special to them. It happened to me, and once we moved in together, this person changed dramatically and he turned out to be a very mean person who wanted to hurt me emotionally and mentally and control me.

  • R Arbuckle

    I used to work for a narcissistic boss. However, he paid very good money, so I stuck around. Based on the long run situation, I thought it worked for me, and still do. Satisfied with the outcome. He passed away, so that's that.

  • Marla Johnson

    Oh my goodness, I checked every box on the list! Thank you for this video! Knowing what made me vulnerable to a narcissist will help prevent me from repeating my mistakes. I think I’m going to write all of these down. On flashcards.
    And Gus can sleep through your presentations because dogs are so much smarter than humans. 😄

  • Christine Von Lossberg

    I think that I have many friends and my dad that are. I have a question Dr. Carter. If every time you talk to them it is onesided, you can hardly get a word in and they when you say what you think, you get made wrong most of the time. They never say sorry either. Always. all about them and have to out do your stories when you finally get to say something. Things like that.

  • 351cleavland

    Once I started realizing my really sick mother fell under the category of Narcissist I began to re-evaluate EVERY relationship I had, freindship, romantic, etc.
    They fell between 2 categories; those that had narcissistic tendencies and those that were (likely) raised by a narcissist but didn't realize it. Those raised by narcissists (I strongly suspect) had learned traits but not the same motivations as a Narc. There were too many of those situations to be a coincidence.

    I watched Dr Malkin from Havard university and he spoke of a cluster of traits that recently hit me like a load of bricks, which he called Echoists. He has noticed that people who were born empathic/sensitive AND who were raised by a narcissist had a cluster of symptoms in common such as warm-hearted but unable to accept praise, fear of seaming narcissisitic, next to impossible imagining your own future, avoiding attention, dismissive of positive attention, etc.

    One of the few upside of being empathic is 1) giving lots of notice to that intuition my whole life, even when I couldn't do anything about it. Although, I didn't always know HOW I should act on it 2) When I hear serious B.S directed at me or someone I care about feeling really angry and 3) getting better at when to act on others' B.S. without hesitation. Example: I had a customer (I am self employed) whose boss wanted me to do work for him. He treated my poorly, made me wait for an unheard of amount of time for next to no money and then after getting a superb deal complained that it literally wasn't perfect (there were a few other smaller situations beforehand-a pattern was forming). I told him from then on I wasn't available anymore.
    The orignal customer wound up quiting, along with 3 other employees at the same time and she vented to me about him being a narcissist and abusing employees. He's the 2nd person I "fired" as a customer. The other guy I suspected of being a narcisssist before I had a strong insight into what that meant. Now both of them are VERY financially successful businesspeople. ANd I don't have to deal with them ever again 😀

  • The Gargoyle

    When I met my ex, I was desperate to be accepted for who I was and I had absolutely no gut feeling that he was the horrible person he turned out to be. Now I think he's been able to enact the lovely persona since the very second he met me. Also, his problematic past (to put it mildly) made some odd behaviors of his part to be understandable. I'm so blessed I found your channel, or else I would have never stopped asking myself what went wrong! Oh, Gus woke up during the recording 😅

  • Mind Islands Paul Ryder

    Its great how your getting people to take responsibility on this one as so many times the target of abuse can try to play the poor me card and blame the narcissist so they can be rescued by another person (drama triangle) – the truth is we teach other people how they can treat us whether we know it or not…its always about responsibility! This can be a hard pill to swallow though when your in it.

  • D K

    Looks like I check almost all the boxes you listed as the perfect target for a narcissist. After a 17 year marriage filled with guilt and deceit, I'm ready to change those traits in myself that have made me so vulnerable. Thank you for giving us this excellent checklist.

  • Dulce R-L

    Thank you, Dr. Carter, for all your vídeos. They are the best out there on the subject of Narcissism.
    I see a Psychologist specialized in CPTSD and abuse. He told me that narcissists are attracted to people with qualities they lack… so true in my experience. The covert narc. I married is shy and a loner, I'm outgoing and love socializing. He has a College degree and two Masters, but 'admired' or envied my knowledge on many subjects and ability to speak several languages (he used to say 'every time I talk to you I learn something new'). He has no personality and lacks character and I'm assertive, with a strong personality. He is insecure, needs constant reassurance and has many hang-ups; I'm very comfortable in my skin and have no self-steem problems. And so on and so forth…. We were very different from the beginning but also seemed to have important things in common and none of this flaws were apparent right away.

    It is true that having had to deal with a narcissistic parent makes you prone to fall prey of others, but not necessarily for the often repeated reasons. I'm not the typical narcissist's victim (I'm not co-dependent, enabler nor strive to please others), but having lived in constant conflict with an overt narcissistic mother gave me the patience and stamina to put up with a person that, let's not forget, didn't take down his mask fully until after 20 years into the marriage.

    The results of living 30 years with an overt mother plus 22 with a covert husband have been, to say the least, devastating.

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