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7 Signs of Covert Narcissism You'll Wish You'd Known Before

Covert narcissism is very difficult to put your finger on.

Many people waste years of their lives with covert narcissists trying to figure out the unusual dynamic they’re experiencing in their relationship. Once they discover that it could be covert narcissism, they waste further time questioning if that’s really the case or not.

The reason for this is that many of us do not have a clear definition in our minds of what constitutes abuse. We often think of abuse as being only physical and do not have a clear definition of what emotional abuse is.

Covert emotional abuse is very real and once you have identified it you must treat it with the same severity as you would physical abuse. Learn more in today’s video.

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  • Carter Maysilles

    Now I'm worried about myself… I am extremely passive aggressive…I've caught myself and I try to always point it out publically when I realize, but I'm so good at it that sometimes I don't even realize that I am doing it until I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking about it. I'm also not a great cuddler or a very huggy person… Am I a covert narcissist????? Ugh.

  • Hoth 100

    Brilliant video..they are so so nasty, disturbed I individuals. I knew there was something not quite right, yet couldn't leave. He discarded me for the last time 2 years ago now. I agreed we were better off apart and let him walk. He drives past my house quite often, yet seems to be leaving me alone!

  • Alice Roberts

    Thank you for this video very good video I so sick of people saying it’s my fault because I give other people the benefit of the doubt or for being a forgiving person I didn’t knowing let anyone abuse me. Or for not knowing a narcissistic personality disorder. Not knowing about something doesn’t mean you allowed the abuse and that there’s something wrong with you.

  • Toni L.

    My guy was really present before. (LD relationship), then he start picking up the phone not every time I was calling. Then he was saying its not in him to talk. Sometimes he was even hanging up. He was saying sometimes when I criticise his passiveness and uselessness he don't know what to say. He kept saying he want to change but don't know if he can. He didn't do anything this year to come and visit me let alone to move here next year.. He start texting me with bread crumbs answers overt time. For almost a month, he basically almost don't talk to me. He haven't called. He say few words without explaining where he was every 3 or 4 days. During thus time he is like gone. When he text back its like every few days and he don't really answer to almost anything. Most of the time he read my messages like 8 hours later or even days later and don't say anything. I was very upset for a while and none of my sad messages to him got reply nor even simple questions like "since you don't love me why don't you just end this".. When I acuse him for having other women he tell me that isn't true and it's frustrating I keep repeating it and even he don't know if i believe myself on this. He saying when I don't believe him in this he will be even more reclusive. Days later he show up to say he love me and he behave horrible to me.. He used to say before I let myself down by being with him. He neglected me for months before he start disappearing for days on end. And now when I said his ignore equals the amount of hatred he have he said he is just reclusive and don't hate me. When he met me he stopped being for a while but now he said he is very withdrawn and reclusive. For month I feel like I'm talking to a wall. And before that month, the day before he start vanishing for few days, he said I am driving him crazy and he hate the fact I watch over him all the time and he have no privacy (as I said we are long distance and the only thing i had was his fb password which he changed the same day)… He used to make me videos all the time where he even gave oath that he will love me till the day he die… All this "its ridiculous how reclusive I am" despite me asking for some answers and clarity, and despite my sad messages to him that clearly shows he broke my heart, means he is covert narc, right? I don't think someone who love can ignore this way knowingly that cause pain to the other person…. I forgot to mention that I have told him i believe he is narc but he refusing and asked me why i keep repeating it since its not true. Also he said now he can't fix his reclusiveness since I keep exclaim he hate me.. I have never felt more helpless than in this relation… My fault is that due to his passibeness in the past I have been rude to him.. I have been saying hurtful things but it was only cos I was hurt. I thought this is the reason for him to behave like this but then u was thinking for all the love Igave him…. Soooo much love and attention even when I nearly died this year… He looked so innocent and handsome.. It was my perfect guy… But my fairytale has ended so harshly and cruel… All the future faking he was giving and talks about kids and marrying me… How he is only mine forever… I know it's naive for me but I believed him…is he covert narc based on what I shared?

  • mh76

    Did you install a hidden camera in my apartment, and spied on me and narcissist ex? 😂 Because you described her and our relationship to 100%. That's scary 😨.

    But she discarded me for good when I told her about all the lies she told me. She is now engaged with a new supply.

    So I am finally free. For now. You never know with a narcissist.

  • Anthony David Latter

    A narcissist is a real criminal that carries out real covert criminal activities. To see this in another light… Imagine a criminal planning to rob and targeting an old man or woman because they are weak at an old age… as the old man or woman enters their home from maybe being shopping., then ties them up and even hits the old person (usually because of jealousy/envy) of the old person having and the criminal not having. Well this is how a narcissist targets a good person in the same way. They have no feeling for you, you are targeted as weak if you are a nice good person and with their sick covert criminal tactics you become a source of supply and they steal from you until there is nothing for them to take any more or the fact that you may be starting to work them out and they know that you are starting to realize that they are just manipulating and have been stealing everything you had to offer them. Their hate of who you are or what you have, money, talent, are able to love, whatever, they are jealous / envious of you. This is when they discard.Once they have taken or stolen from you what they need either materially or mentally they then punish you with discard. This is what people don't get"

  • Andy Poons

    If anyone would like to put an end to this insanity quickly with long term results and change then send me a message I've found a system that works far better than therapy, hypnosis and emdr! It's worked for me amazingly and I've struggled with this my whole life. Do reach out if you need help

  • Kalynne Dees

    For the first time in my 13 year marriage, I feel like I've found an answer or at least a lead to what's wrong. He often says I'm coldhearted and need to work on myself before we can work on us and so I have turned to YouTube to figure out what's wrong with me. Now, I'm realizing that maybe it's not just me after all. Thank you and all those like you trying to help us out.

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