Narcissism is what our entire political scenario works on currently and while you may have made that assessment, have you ever figured out if you fall under the same category? A narcissistic person doesn’t usually realise he or she is one, unless and until they measure their own traits and come to a rather blatant conclusion.
For starters, no narcissist wants to declare they are narcissistic and while that maybe subjective, let’s not forget there are some traits that stand out louder than Diwali firecrackers, deeming you fit to be a narcissist.
Well, there is healthy narcissism which is balanced, with a good sense of self and fondness for others and there is unhealthy narcissism that just starts and ends with the person concerned.
So here are five strong cues that can help you objectively evaluate the narcissistic traits you may possess to maybe break certain patterns in your behaviour.
(1) You Have A Constant Need For Validation
Validation in terms of being acknowledged constantly by others is a vital need that you need to feed off of. It’s what gets you going and it’s like fodder for you to stay alive and confident.
Most narcissistic people usually use social media heavily to find a sense of validation. It could be through posting a myriads of selfies online and waiting for the ‘likes’ you may get or going on various dating apps and validating your existence through different people you’d meet there, on a daily basis (even if you’re seriously dating someone exclusively). Now don’t get me wrong. While dating apps are fun and people usually go there to find something relevant or to pass time, narcissists have a different agenda altogether and they make sure they fulfil it.
(2) You’re Self Centred
Your sentences are usually full of ‘I ‘ and you’re rather self involved. Your identity and importance is larger than anyone else’s and you realise that from time to time but your ego doesn’t allow you to bend over backwards for anyone else. While it’s good to be focused on yourself with utmost dedication, there is a difference in being self involved/focused or self centred. While putting your needs before anyone else is important, you go overboard with that trait and come off as selfish and self centred.
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(3) You’re Competitive And Despise Losing
While everyone is competitive from time to time, you go overboard with your competitive streak. Even if it’s a friendly game, you take it to heart if you’re losing, to a point where you get down to bullying the opponent. You’re either a sore loser or a sore winner and any form of competition is never ‘friendly’ for you.
(4) If You’re Not Grandiose Then You’re Introverted, Defensive and Anxious
Psychology Today says there are two faces of narcissism. One is hyper-aggressive and super loud, someone who loves to get his way through life by bullying and the other is called covert narcissism where the person is an introvert and always gets his way by being extremely defensive with huge levels of anxiety flowing through him. Both these faces of narcissism focus on self-importance while discarding the needs of others at the same time.
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(5) You’re Self Righteous
Narcissists usually believe that their views on anything are more superior to other people’s perspectives or views. They feel, they are more knowledgeable and intelligent than the rest and portray themselves to be self-righteous from time to time, to garner as much attention as they can from people around them. Of course they don’t care about anyone’s opinion, if it’s countering theirs but they will put on a facade of being a ‘know-it-all’, every time they get a chance to.
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Narcissistic people don’t really care much about other people, their opinions, their views and perspectives or even their needs as much as they care about theirs. They will create a rigorous vibe of self importance around them and try and cover it up, so people usually don’t get to know what their actual agenda is.
If you think, you or anyone you know has any of the mentioned traits, then maybe it’s time to change your pattern and break the cycle of unhealthy narcissism.
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