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4 Shocking Ways Narcissists Bleed You Financially



As natural care-givers we often feel like it’s our duty to look after someone if they are in financial hardship. We also tend to put others needs before our own and give freely, without having healthy limits.

Sadly this trait can make us susceptible to parasitic people who take from us what they can to serve
their own selfish needs, bleeding us dry financially or even sending us into debt.

In today’s Thriver TV episode I want to share the 4 most common ways narcissists abuse us financially so that you shore up your boundaries and gain the confidence and deservedness to ensure this never happens to you again:

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39 Comments

  • Daniela SOS

    Hi Gorgeous Melanie: how can I be SAFE in a relationship? Seemingly '' perfect'' husbands like Chris Watts suddenly kill their wives…It happens all over the world…How to be safe, when there is NO red flag at all? Maybe you answered before but I did NOT get the ''sign'' on youtube to read your answer ( the '' bell'')…so I dont remember which video I made this question to check…

  • Janice G

    Just when i thought i learned what i needed to, i see this video and realize i dated the same narc over and over. I forgot about my post college boyfriend that conveniently forgot his wallet repeatedly, and didn't give gifts. Wow! Thanks for this video!

  • Rahel T Rocca

    It came to the point were the B day gifts were never enough I had to do better and better which meant more $ on b day gifts and holidays. Not to mention he stole 10 000 and finally got back some of the $ but not all. Still took him back. Then when my eyes opened I stooped with the gifts and low and behold the discard. Last gift I gave him for his B day was a card telling him Jesus loves you and that’s what broke the camels back! Narc free whoo hoo! In all seriousness I am in mourning of the relationship but I know it was a facade. Thank you for your videos dear friend♥️

  • MonkeyMind360

    This was my biggest mistake. I gave my money to somebody I thought I could trust. I was so busy giving at the beginning that I didn't slow down to really see what the Narc was NOT giving to me. It was completely unbalanced. Yes I made more and was mined relentlessly through use of guilt. I still don't know what happened to the money. I couldn't see any major spending. Its likely in a bank oversees. And yes my friends I met an international woman on line, visited her several times ( 17 times over a two year period), married her, got her over here ( her and her kid) only to be treated like a slave, degraded and verbally abused and mined some more. All said and one it was approx 100k total including the money I had to pay her for the divorce. And oh hell yes I filed. It was the most self loving thing I could do. My inheritance and savings nearly all gone. Maybe I still got off cheap. At least I woke up to stop the bleeding.

  • shaneh975

    As always, just….thank you for coming up with such eloquence in your messages. You are exactly what the world needs to educate themselves about what you are truly up against when you become entangled with narcissistic nightmares! Because that is what they make your life feel like…. a literal nightmare of pain and utter confusion!

    Thank you, ma'am. From the bottom of all our hearts!

  • Cat Cody

    Met that man and left that man.. He now is trying to gaslight me and tried to guilt me by telling me I used him and discarded him and all he wanted was to be loved..
    So telling that he wanted love but had no idea how to give it express love himself.
    It took me almost 2 years to figure this out but knowing what kind of person I was dealing with has made me aware and laugh at his allegations.
    I gave until I had nothing left then he accused me of not being able to stay with me because I was too needy.
    Without me he would have been homeless and when I realized how he was using me and had discarded his family and others I realized he was not a poor pitiful man but a cheating conniving narcissist and may even be a psychopath.
    I am so grateful for your videos and others who have helped me to heal again.
    Thank you..

  • Christina Haftman

    My ex boyfriend hid $50,000 of debt. He had bad credit. His truck disappeared from my driveway. It was repossessed! And he wanted money down for a new one . I said NO.
    Then he wanted me to cosign on his HIGH INTEREST loan! I said NO. He said why don’t you put the car in your name because you have excellent credit and it will cost us less as a couple . I said NO.

    He ended up borrowing $2000 from his friend in Connecticut for a 2003 vehicle with a payment of $500 a month. Omg !

    I found out later from his ex-wife in Alabama that he ran up all of her credit cards… and then after he did that…. he told her he was going on a business trip to Florida and he never came back. He had coordinated to meet up with a Brazilian girl he was talking to online and he started dating her ..and moved in with her. Unbelievable!!! But true. Their lives are a mess.

  • Tammy Turner

    Recently been thinking of just this topic!! What is it when they purposely sabotage things, break them, steal things of yours? Is this another part of narcissism? How in the world do you make them leave??? Thanks sooooo much for your videos!!

  • Catherine Todd

    I have known a parasitical narcissist for 40 years and they got EVERYTHING from me. How stupid could I have been? She describes EXACTLY what has happened to me. MINED for EVERYTHING and he kept EVERYTHING. I have become so sick, just like she describes in the video, that I am disabled and unable to function. Therefore completely dependent on him for everything as he takes all my social security and small inheritance. Time to make a CHANGE. It's hard but I'm DOING IT NOW. God give me the Strength I need right now and into the future. I MUST NEVER GO BACK!

  • brett neuberger

    OMG! Exactly. They beat you down until you’re completely drained emotionally, spiritually, and physically; and then they ruthlessly manipulate the “system” to drain you financially as well. Evil is the only way to describe their behavior.

  • nnnnnnnnnnn

    Melanie, you are getting more and more beautuful every time! 🌷

    May I ask something please?
    The x-narc started hinting that his salary was not big enough to pay half of our future rent (we are both grown-ups with jobs. And he could afford it.).
    I was so shocked and said: "Am I supposed to keep you?".
    There have been a few more hints that I was expected to buy a house and finance the business.
    I responded that we both had to work hard and earn our money.
    The discard followed up in a few weeks.

    For months I was beating myself up for the words "Am I supposed to keep you?".

    But maybe it has been the right thing to say? Maybe it saved me from years of being taken advantage of?

    Why was I so stupid to fall in love with him. He gently hinted about me buying a house earlier by sending me info from property sites. But I thought we were supposed to work together to buy our house. Why didn't I stop from falling in love? I feel like an idiot now.
    And even more so I feel an idiot for wasting an antire year grieving the lost love.

  • Demetria Gaines

    Thank U So Much For Sharing.
    I Was DisCarded Over Money.When. I Didn't Give The Narcissists.What He Asked Of Me I Was DisCarded Like Trash.This Person Has Absoutley Nothing 2 Do With Me.U Were Right When U Said That They Feel So Entitled That U Have 2 Pay Them Jus 2 Be
    In There Company.I Struggle With No Contact..These Ppl Are So Incredibly Sick & Dangerous.

  • ranch3w

    I am a traditional guy that married a woman a year ago and gave her almost everything she wanted. When I said no, she moved out with her and my things including a $30K SUV while I was at work. No contact by her except by her attorney serving me with divorce papers. She wants to steal the SUV from me using the Court and take all she can from my coffers. I know it's mostly my fault because the red flags were there but I choose to ignore the warning signs. Getting much better by doing my work.

  • Janice S

    My narc mother ruined my father financially. He has depression and schizophrenia so she had free reign do make all financial decisions. She pissed away his retirement, she would refinance his house several times to pay off cars and other luxuries. He inherited the house from his parents and it was paid off. Needless to say she foreclosed on the mortgage and now they’re renting.

  • Holy moly it's me rotoly It's me rotoly

    He love bombed with complements and worlds like I’ve never had but never gifts. So I gave him gifts and money wow big mistake! I had no idea he had a sugar mama that was basically supporting him. When I found out I said if you had her helping you why did you let me pay 1000 to help you with a bill and he said well to prove you love me!! It makes me sick the whole thing. He wasn’t even that great I was fooled

  • Angela Falsetta

    Oh, Mel, I MISS YOU! Things have called me away..personal stuff that I am handling…I have MAINTAINED NC no matter what though from the Narcs and " Narc family" Illusion. 15 months now! You had approved me for your Comprehensive Course and have not been able to get to it and commit myself to it for the reasons I said…cannot mention here..Please know how grateful I am for your approval and welcome and expert help and guidance!! I will be back when I can!!
    Everything..ALL 4 of the Narc tactics and manipulations of bleeding money dry from me HAS HAPPENED to me in my life…By more than one partner…AND by my own so called "family"!! We don't see it coming…OR we do see it and choose to let it happen just to be "loved" and approved of! We don't stop them or end it till we are on EMPTY!! Thus I am broke!! I will never let it happen again thanks to you, Mel and other channels bringing out NPD and narc abuse methods etc.. IT will never happen again.
    I am up in age now…65! How to start over? I have a humble abode now and NO savings… I am retired and have a small pension and JUST MAKING IT! WISH I had the money back I spent on others…They are gone forever and doing well! Forgot me! Just as well…They are narcs and that does not change!! I want to build up again and do not know where to start!! Thank You, Mel…FOR EVERYTHING!! All the LOVE!

  • Louise Coenders

    My narc told me to divorce. You know why? He shouted at me: when you die!!! your husband will get everything! That was the exact moment I realised I was in, what yoy always call WRONGTOWN! Thank you so much for your realistic view on these people. Much love from Louise

  • J. T.

    Yay, another beautiful video from Thriver TV!!!! I'm still way too generous Mel. I think doing the GSM may help here though!!! Thank you for this, and all of your videos. Yes, I was guilted and threatened. He tried every trick in the book to try and get me to put his name on the title to my home that I own free and clear before meeting him. It is ultimately what led to me filing the final annulment papers. He took and took and took. He drained my business financially and he drained me financially too. I was able to hang on to my home and I am rebuilding my business along with my life, thanks to NARP. I'm dedicating the next 6 weeks to finishing working through the modules and organizing and clearing out clutter from my home. Then, I am purchasing advertising and going for rebuilding my business! I have new confidence, and I know I have the tools to face any obstacles that arise. I feel blessed, and I feel like I have a chance to regain what was lost due to narcissistic abuse. ♡

  • grizzly deener

    in my case i was super stupid; we never married (30 years) in a non-common law state (so if i leave i get nothing); he never let me work (said i was trying to get out of doing things around the house and that "we" had enough money); then a few years ago took up w someone 34 years younger than him and said what's his is his and i am not "entitled" to anything and that i was lazy and should get a job; really it was my own stupid mistake but i was very naive and didn't know i was financially ruining myself and contributing to the bourgeoise like the proletariat (but w no wage earning and no bank account in my name); i let myself be scammed because i never really knew people lied like that; i guess that makes me a narcissist in a way too because i must have been delusional to think i was so special that someone would not lie to me; i am working my plan to fix it all though; and yes i have all the emotional/physical/psychological and financial problems from it in spades… 🙂

  • Peter Pike

    This is quite interesting, because I noticed after my ex left me that even though I was eating out every day because I was too depressed to cook, and although all the house bills were almost identical to when she was here, my bank account was growing every month instead of shrinking. And this is despite me giving almost 20% of my paycheck to her for child support. I have no clue what she was spending it all on.

  • D. Kirk

    This is clearly been going on. Mine quit working, and then stopped paying bills. She also has taken complete advantage of me. She strives to use guilt all the time. Everything I have belongs to her; amazing! She calls me selfish all the time…crazy making!

  • Debbie Howes

    Bed ridden, housebound & alone. I worked 4 jobs to put money away…$45,000.00 in savings & our beautiful home GONE! Spent everything & lied about it..lied about everything, I believe he is incapable of telling the truth…the most miserable pos to ever walk the planet…I am free of him..free to live my life & be happy..Thank you beautifil lady, Melanie Tonia Evans, for helping me to see me..💞

  • Doris Schäfer

    When I was looking for a job my ex narc always told me the jobs I applied to are not good enough. I should take better offers etc. I was too good for such a job and so on. The next day he would be arguing with me and yelling and putting me down for not finding work. I feel so stupid. It took sooo long until I understood he was just keeping me dependent

  • Kenny B. II

    I all but inherited my mom’s house after she moved away. Then I proposed to a narc-ex and after we got engaged, I had her move into the house with me. She herself was in a bad situation, and I fell right into the pity party trap. When I talked to the narc ex about fully inheriting (and renovating) my mom’s house, making it completely ours, she balked. “It will never be fully ours!” She’d said. And maybe she had a point. But the way she handled it, it was a total guilt trip and lack of understanding. She did try to start a joint savings account with me, but thankfully it never happened. Despite that, I did lose a lot financially, spiritually and mentally. It’s been two and a half years and I’m still barely recovering.

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